I took an introductory psychology course last semester, and I learned a lot about human social behavior. We even learned a bit of basic information about cults, which has been a lifelong interest for me. Particularly the kinds that seem to form around conspiracy theories. I guess it would be an oversimplification to say I wasn’t aware of any of this stuff before, though.
Over the past few years, I’ve seen acquaintances, friends, and even family fall for misinformation that could be pretty easily debunked with a quick Google search. I’m only eighteen… if I can parse fact from fiction, why is this such a thing these days?
Even with what I’ve learned in class, I’m amazed at how this continues to play out in “real life”, outside of academia and cold, clinical laboratory environments. Time and time again, I’m stunned by how many rational, seemingly “normal” people accept blatant lies as fact.
Not only do they accept it, but they spread it.
Eventually, I started to ask myself… how does this happen? Is it that people are just… so bored with their own lives that they are compelled to seek entertaining explanations for what is so clearly laid out in front of them?
Then I asked myself, how far could it go?
What kinds of things will people believe with little to no actual proof?
The explanations in my textbooks were not enough for me. I wanted to find out.
Almost half a year ago, I started a social experiment. I joined a lesser-known discussion forum—I’m not going to name it here, because I don’t want anyone going over there after what happened—and pulled up the page to submit a post.
I put my fingers to the keys, eager to start my experiment. I ran into my first problem right there, in that first moment. I stared at the blank text box, zeroing in on the cursor as it blinked almost mockingly. It sounds stupid, but I wasn’t creative enough to come up with an idea to base my conspiracy theory on.
There were a few things I did know then, though. A few very important things, I think. I knew that people like a common villain to take a stand against. In a world full of grey area, people like black and white problems, a clear-cut “evil”.
In addition, I knew that people like to be in on a secret, to feel like they’re somehow aware of a problem that is hidden in plain sight. And people like problems that they don’t really have to do anything about, a problem that they don’t need to solve with anything other than “raising awareness”.
I’ll admit it—it took me several days of thinking before I figured out what to base my first post on. And when I finally landed on that idea, it didn’t even come from my own creativity.
I was watching a documentary, one about a rather infamous bloke. He was a murderer, both of man and animals. Cats, to be exact. The documentary seemed to focus mainly on the cats; all the awful things he did to those poor animals, and the great lengths to which complete strangers went to in order to stop him from hurting any more of them.
There was very little information about his human victim, which stunned me. I’ve since read he was an incredibly compassionate and intelligent person… he was living abroad and lonely, just looking for friends when he met his terrible end. On a personal note, I think of him, his family, and his friends daily. I feel a great shame for all that I’ve done that could continue to perpetuate their grief… and an ever-increasing horror for what may still be to come.
While I was struggling to understand this discrepancy in coverage, a thought hit me almost immediately—people fucking love cats. Even if you’re not a cat person, you probably think anyone who hurts a cat should suffer tenfold themselves. It was exactly the black and white problem I was looking for.
I was a little stoned, but I decided to give it a go right then. I popped open my laptop and started a post.

Most of the world’s stray cats vanished virtually overnight yet the truth remains unknown by the masses. L tried to tell us the truth. We refused to listen. Police refused to investigate. Media refused to publish the truth. MASSIVE SCALE COVERUP TO HIGHEST LEVELS OF GOV/SOCIETY. The truth is hard to look at but you’ll never unsee it… once you open your eyes.

I fell asleep soon after publishing the post but checked the thread first thing in the morning. I was expecting one or two responses at most, so I was absolutely floored by the amount of replies present once I refreshed the page.
One hundred and sixty-two comments.
Some of the users laughed me off as expected, but their comments were greatly outnumbered by those vehemently agreeing with me and pressing me for more information. Almost desperately. People wanted to know how they could help save the cats.
Even more surprisingly, users worked together to decode portions of my message. They worked quickly until they accurately identified the subject of the documentary that I’d seen just the other night. I had barely given any information, but they figured it out.
Honestly, I was… amazed. I was proud.
It was a strange feeling.
Still, people wanted more.
I gave them what they wanted.

Cats once recognized as gods. Now “pussy” means WEAK… this is PURRPOSEFUL. Innocent, helpless kittens rounded up to fulfill the SICK and DEPRAVED needs of the world’s mega-rich elites. To harness their inherent power. Look hard at the world around you. Ask yourself: where did the cats go?

Snickering, I posted the comment. I figured that, with the escalation of the absurdity in the “information” and my pure audacity in inputting a cat pun, it would all be over then. Part of me wanted it to be over then, to finish as soon as it had started, but I’m ashamed to admit that a deeper, darker part of me wanted to ride this out for as long as possible.
That part of me became increasingly impossible to ignore as the comments flooded in.
Xxxxx1583: ty for this, HD. about time ppl woke up to the harsh truth.
Xxxxxx212: WHERE DID THE CATS GO?????????????
Xxxxx2999: HD, you should make your own board. We need more information. We need to know the truth so we can help you put an end to this.
Xxxx33333: SAVE THE CATS
Xxxx00011: down with the elites, sick fuks
The third comment stuck out most to me… I followed their advice and created my own board. I titled it “WDTCG?”, short for what seemed to be the first rallying cry associated with my faux conspiracy theory. Users flooded into the board, joining at a rate that left my jaw on the floor. I was nearing one thousand members by the end of that first day, all ears for whatever I would say next.
I decided to wait before posting any new “info”. I needed time to think. I closed my laptop that night, feeling oddly… powerful. I had more people hanging on my every word than I could have possibly imagined before all of this. All it once, it hit me—the realization that I needed to be careful with what I said. Any wrong move could cost me what I’d manage to build in such a short period of time.
The next couple months went by smoothly, with my interaction and reader base growing steadily. Some days the number of followers would spike almost exponentially. They started calling themselves the Cat Crusaders, which I found oddly endearing.
Often times, they’d make connections that I hadn’t even thought of beforehand. I’m embarrassed to admit that sometimes I even wondered if I’d accidentally stumbled upon the truth, if I knew more than I… knew. If—by some fantastical coincidence—my fabricated “conspiracy theory” was actually true.
They combed through pop culture and media, picking out instances that could align with WTDCG. A user who I came to recognize as my most active, loyal follower—Xxxxx2999, the one who had suggested I start my own board in the first place—posted a particularly jarring thread about that song WAP.

Wet Ass Pussy—popularly abbreviated as “WAP” to downplay its horrific hidden meanings—is clearly about drowning cats. The elites and their spineless lackeys in the media are rubbing the truth in our faces, inoculating us with it in our everyday lives so that REALITY seems farfetched. When will the people wake up???

The Cat Crusaders quickly added anyone associated with the song to the list of the “elites” they suspected as part of “cat torture rings” to a running list. Suspicion quickly turned to undeniable fact in their minds, and the list quickly grew into the hundreds.
In conversation, members termed these elites “wolves” … a known predator of cats. Some of the zanier members began to assert that the wolves were actual wolves, either humanoid werewolf type creatures, or wolves in human “skin suits”. A few even insisted that they could tell the difference, that their human appearance was almost believable, but not enough to trick them.
I dropped new info posts fairly regularly, making sure to give members time between each to work out any hidden meanings. They continued to make more and more connections, uncovering any acronyms or other word puzzles I utilized. I didn’t want to give everything away all at once so that they could decode either on their own, or—more often—as a team.
Working together seemed fun for them. It was fun for me, too… it was like a game that we were all playing together.
Things went from funny games to something much worse almost overnight.
When the lockdown started, I saw a massive increase in numbers. People were bored at home and grasping for some understanding in such increasingly incomprehensible circumstances. Members began downplaying current events, claiming that the media was distorting reality.
They used snappy one-liners as a point-black denial of real problems that fostered real injustices. I watched, sick to my stomach, as comments like, “anti-mask, anti-vax, but pro-cats” and “cat lives matter!!” became normal and even celebrated.
After all, if the wolves had to take such tremendous measures, if they had to pull so many strings to “stage” such extreme scenes… it only meant that they were on the right track. Or that we were on the right track.
Even more troubling still, some extreme viewpoints started popping up. It went from “save the cats!” to “DEATH TO ALL WOLVES” in the blink of an eye. There were a lot of wolves on the list by that time, and these severe and violent sentiments both deeply sickened me and stoked a sudden fear of what I’d created… what the Crusaders might become or do.
Those viewpoints only represented a small minority of users, however, so I figured the best thing to do was to abandon the experiment altogether. To stop adding fuel to the fire, as they say.
I went dark for a month or so, ousting any lingering thoughts of WDTCG as soon as they came to mind. Considering how much time and thought I’d put into the experiment, forgetting about it was a struggle. I never honestly forgot about it, not even for a second. It overtook my thoughts entirely, even when I was away from the forum.
“Forgetting” only became more difficult as time went on, and I started noticing some troubling signs.
At first, I thought I was just being paranoid—I’d spent months practically forcing myself to adopt a hyper-paranoid mindset, after all. But with each passing day, and with each additional reminder, it all became impossible to ignore.
WDTCG was starting to go mainstream.
I spotted posts on “normie” social media sites that seemed entirely innocent on first glance. Image posts decrying high rates of animal abuse started to pop up on my feeds. This felt normal enough—of course people are sympathetic to this cause—right up until the hashtags. My stomach must’ve finally given into that fear ulcer I’d been brewing for months when I read it: #WDTCG?
Fuck.
Ignorance was never bliss in this situation, but I knew then that it wasn’t really a viable solution either.
With fearful, shaking hands, I logged back into my account. Part of me expected that the rest of my followers would have gone dark with me, that the board would have withered and died without me to lead them… that they would’ve understood that if I suddenly stopped posting new information, that the information must not have ever been real in the first place.
That part of me was optimistic, the part of me that engaged in wishful thinking. That part of me was also greatly overshadowed by a more realistic version of me, the part of me that knew what I’d done and what to expect when I logged back on.
That part of me was right.
In my absence, the board had absolutely exploded. Not only in the overall member count, but also in activity. The front page was cluttered with threads posted just in the last day or so. The top post had reached over a thousand comments, and the rest were in the hundreds… and counting.
I skimmed the first thread. Then the next one. And the one after that. I scrolled down, read more. If only to convince myself that what I was reading wasn’t true, that all of this was fake. Just a funny game for all of them, like it was for me.
Fear twisted my gut as I was forced to confront the truth: they all thought this was real.
Isolated in a perfect echo chamber, members of my board had only further reinforced their outlandish beliefs. Any opinion that branched even slightly away from their dogma was quickly dogpiled. Any measure of doubt or questioning, regardless of the intention behind it—I believe these questions were raised by members who only wished to strengthen the claims of the larger group—were snuffed out in an instant.
It was a metaphorical circle jerk in every possible way.
And what was left after dissenting opinions were squashed was the worst version of the conspiracy theory, the most extremist and hateful version. The version that only represented a minority of users before I left. I scrolled through users’ fervent calls for justice and retribution, really a thinly veiled euphemism for violence, for vengeance.
I thought—or, rather, I hoped—that if I stopped feeding them information, then they would forget about WDTCG. I hoped that, if I stopped acting as their “leader”, that they would cease to exist without my guidance.
It was only then that I faced a sickening reality… one in which they didn’t even need me to anymore at all.
I knew I had to at least try to stop them, so I did the only thing I knew to do. I posted.
Knowing I had to move quickly, I started a live chat thread. Comments quickly flooded in as users welcomed me back with open arms. They wanted to know what had happened to me. Had my mission been compromised? Had I been taken captive by the wolves? Did I have anything knew to share with them?
Because, they said, they sure as hell had a lot to share with me.
I was welcomed warmly, like a war hero returning back to his people… right up until I finally did the right thing, the thing that anyone with respect for their fellow man would do. I told them the truth.
hisdestruction: None of this is real. I made it all up.
I waited a few moments, slowed by agonizing fear, before I hit enter to send the message. The following seconds were even more terrifying as I watched the “…” appear at the bottom of the chat. Then, responses came in, one after the other.
Xxxxx9302: I call bullshit
Xx321: theres no way u could’ve made this shit up dude, any1 with eyes can see whats happening
Xxxxx92: you’ll be executed with the other wolves then on judgment day
Xxxxxxxxxxxx1: haha, funny joke HD.
Again… fuck.
I started fact checking my past info posts, meticulously disentangling their core beliefs that had resulted from misinformation I’d provided. I started small because I thought I’d get less push back, but I was wrong. Again.
When they refused to listen to reason even on the more superficial lies that I’d spread, I tackled the most fundamental, underlying info: my first post. I explained that, if they were indeed seeing fewer stray cats in their neighborhood, this was likely due to catch, spay, and release programs or better animal shelters. Perhaps a combination of both.
I tried to explain that it was even more likely that nothing had changed at all, but their perception of the outside world had been altered by reading my lies.
They didn’t like that one, either.
As a last-ditch effort, I typed in a sentiment I’d tried to communicate from the start… perhaps fearing from the very beginning that everything that I was seeing would occur.
hisdestruction: This movement is about peace and love. It is about saving innocent animals, not violence and destruction.
It didn’t take long before the replies materialized. Each confirmed my deepest fears.
Xxx001: no, it’s about JUSTICE
Xxxxxx22: ur just a FAKE and a SELLOUT
Xxxxx99: DEATH TO ALL WOLVES
It went on like this for minutes, each reply more hateful and horrific than the last. Finally, the barrage of extremism was broken by a single reply from a user I immediately recognized. When I read his words, I could no feel anything other than terror.
Xxxxx2999: Hold on. Sorry. HD is watching, communicating with me now.
Xxxxx2999: Yeeep. Just as I suspected. Account compromised. Await further instructions.
That motherfucker.
Fury eclipsed fear in that moment, and I put my fingers to the keyboard, fervently typing a counter response. Right as I hit send, I received an error message. I refreshed the page, only to find that my account had been logged out. And I couldn’t get back in.
Eventually, I managed to join the board again, but I could never get back into my old account. I don’t post anymore… I just watch my own lies spread further, deeper. I’ve reported the board a number of times… it’s even been deleted twice. It always comes back, though, and they’re picking up new ways to avoid the ban hammer. They removed the list of “wolves”, they learned to speak in coded language that sounds harmless but is anything but.
I’ve tried to communicate with law enforcement, but there’s really nothing they can do at this point. They’re right—the Cat Crusaders haven’t really done anything yet… but I fear what they will do in the future.
And I’m starting to see even more troubling signs.
It happened slowly at first, but it’s only gotten worse. I’ve been searching for it now, so I may be biased, but the signs are clear.
One or two animal shelters recently reported being flooded with anonymous phone calls that have taken away their time and resources to address animal welfare. The callers demanded that they concentrate their efforts on saving the cats from the elites.
Then a few reports of higher instances of catnapping, even to the point of animal hoarding.
And there’s the ever-escalating fury on the board, the calls for the blood of wolves.
Someone else is posting from the hisdestruction account now… I don’t know who it is, but I have my suspicions. They release info posts that fit with the new, extremist conspiracy theory that became the majority view in my absence. The Cat Crusaders lap it up eagerly, use it to further fuel their hate.
I was wrong about it from the beginning, I was wrong about them. They aren't stupid or gullible... they're incredibly clever and quick and most of all, dedicated. They're just dedicating themselves to a made-up issue because they were deliberately misled. It's all my fault.
I’ve officially lost control of my experiment... and now I fear what I’ve created.
X

My mum keeps her clothes in my room

Guilty pleasure: I love dead serious edgy female characters and i hate the double standards

First Date

First, first date in 3 years in just 10 minutes. Wish me luck friends. Hopefully she doesn’t find me unattractive but more than anything, hopefully it doesn’t turn out to be a dude haha.
UPDATE:
Wow! I was not expecting such an overwhelming response. With that in mind, I’d like to start by saying thank you for all of the positivity and encouragement I received from every single one of you! Although some of you may have concluded that my date and I shared a night in the sheets, I can assure you we had a completely wholesome night. For everyone who was worried about COVID, we had a socially distanced date which was agreed upon from the start!
Now for the details. I’ll be honest, I’m pretty drunk right now after talking with my friends online and just enjoying the remainder of my Saturday evening after my date. You want to know how the date went right? I’m nervous as hell to talk about it because I feel like I have literally 2000+ eyes watching me, but I’ll attempt to describe the details of my date with the hopes of providing insight for both the inexperienced and experienced alike. I may be drunk but here’s my story!
For context you may like to know that I’m 24M and she’s 23F. I have always been insecure about my appearance. Due to this I have intentionally gone out of my way to avoid intimacy because I felt like a girl being interested me in a sexual capacity was unfathomable. As a result, I am a 24 year old virgin.
Listen here my fellow virgins. I am not ashamed of maintaining my pristine V card. At the end of the day it’ll either be worth nothing or it’ll be worth everything. It depends how much value you’re willing to place on it. Personally, I have always wanted to lose my virginity to someone I care about. Day by day it feels more and more like a distant fantasy yet I still hold on to that innocence honourably. Don’t get me wrong though. I have equal respect for those who are willing to explore their sexuality fully with their partner(s). I believe someone’s sexuality should be their own, whether they are a virgin or not. It’s nothing to be ashamed of nor is being an absolute charmer if you treat your partner(s) respectfully. Now that I’m done going on a self righteous tangent about being a virgin, let’s talk about my date.
It sucked. At least the beginning did. I had planned a nice scenic walk along the waterfront paired with some tea I picked up for us beforehand. Sounds pretty reasonable right? Wrong. The waterfront wasn’t salted at all (I live in Canada and the windchill by the waterfront was at least -20C). Due to the pathway being unsalted, our walking route was severely limited in addition to slowly being turned into popsicles because of the bitter cold. The weather had been acceptable a few days prior, however, God had different plans for this momentous day. Assaulted by the elements, all the effort I put into looking like my best self were all for naught. I was reduced to nothing but a weak, shivering, feeble man with snot and tears running down his face in front of this beautiful Italian woman.
She endured it more honourably than I did but eventually starting to lose feeling in her hands, face, and toes too. At this point I had to abandon phase 1 and move on to phase 2. Grab food to eat at a local vegan restaurant I thought she’d like (she’s vegetarian). We got lost several times because a food truck was blocking the sign of the small restaurant we were looking for. I felt absolutely embarrassed at this point. I guided us with such confidence yet I couldn’t find one simple store nearby. Alas, we finally found it but I had lost my mask somewhere along the way during our walk. I refused to let my date walk in and order for the both of us so I wrapped my scarf around my face and ended up looking like a tool just so I could share this moment with her. How romantic!
After securing our food I wanted to go to a local lookout point of the city but we had already succumbed to the cold. We ended up agreeing to eat in the warmth of our cars (separately) with the windows rolled down and cars pulled close together. We both still live with our families (many of which work frontline) so we wanted to minimize the risk of COVID. Sure, it was simple as hell and everything I had planned meant little to nothing. But let me tell you something. The first hour and a half we spent walking around in the cold in literal pain was worth it.
It gave us something to laugh about. It was memorable in the worst way possible but more than anything, it showed I cared. Fellas/Ladies, if you’re trying to make an impression then make sure to have a plan that takes some thought. Hell, my date was thankful I did something as simple as picking up vegetarian friendly candy for us to share. I don’t doubt she would have been more than happy with just that because the most enjoyable part of our date was being able to focus on each other.
We spent almost 2 hours walking around in the cold but the last 3 hours we spent talking in our cars seemed to fly by. When we had finally thawed out, both our nerves seemed to settled and we could really get a feel for each other and what we stood for. She was a stand up girl. Nothing to hide and a genuine person right up front. What you see is what you get and I admired it so much. We spent those last few hours talking about the stupidest things, laughing at lame jokes, and bonding over both our similarities and differences.
So what’s my takeaway from this comedic first date of mine? Have a plan, friends. Having a date plan that takes into account the interests of your date can go a long way. Mine fell flat almost immediately but the sentiment was there and I know she appreciated it. It demonstrates what your intentions are and where your heart is. We may have just ended up talking in a parking garage but I can guarantee that the thought I put into the date made it a lot easier for her to feel comfortable talking to me.
Here’s some more advice. Focus on the person behind the pretty face. It’s contradictory to the concept of dating, but view them as a potential friend rather than a date you NEED to secure. Lay on the occasional compliment here and there but don’t drown them with your affections. Don’t force it. I can’t speak for the entirety of women but as a guy, if I woman smothered me with nothing but compliments without focusing on a friendly conversation I would have some hesitations.
Did I get a second date? Yes, I did but I am not expecting our newly founded friendship to go anywhere. I spent 3 years in a relationship and it’s glaringly obvious to me now that it’s going to be very hard for me to form a meaningful connection like that again. I imagine it’s the same on her end. Although I’d like to imagine she enjoyed my company, my insecurity still eats away at me and I question whether or not she agreed to a second date just to pity me. But you know what? I’m on the verge of tears just knowing I’ve made the first monumental step towards moving on. All the work I put into myself after my breakup was worth something after all.
I never could have imagined a version of myself being able to talk to another girl in my life. I thought my last relationship must have been a fluke yet here I was talking to an absolute sweetheart. I’m honestly on the verge of crying (probably because I’m drunk), but they are happy tears. For the first time in months my tears don’t feel like meaningless drops in an expansive ocean. They feel like concentrated doses of pure courage, testosterone, and hope that I have been cultivating for months despite every hardship that has crossed my path.
Simply knowing that me, someone who felt so worthless, someone who had hit Rock Bottom in Bikini Bottom, had caught someone’s eye was euphoric. It doesn’t need to mean anything more than that. If she doesn’t want to pursue something romantic with me then I’m okay with that. Cling on to that “sliver” of hope fellow daters. Because at the end of the day, it may not just be a sliver. It could be a whole damn slice of your favourite cake. Just because you may not be right for one person doesn’t mean you’re not right for someone else. I spent 3 gosh dang years with someone I shouldn’t have been with. We weren’t compatible but we forced ourselves to believe we were. But listen here ya goof! In some weird way I believe those 3 years are going to lead me to the right person at the right time as UNLIKELY as it seems.
I learned so many things from my past relationship that have made me confident enough to even go on a date off a dating app (this was my first ever date via online). Every one of my experiences will guide me to where I need to go, whether I envision it myself or it just happens. Trust me when I say I was skeptical as all hell for my future after losing my ex. I can’t remember how many days I contemplated just disappearing along with the future I dreamed for us. I held on for my family. I held on because if I really do only have one shot at life, “you bet your sweet bippy” I ain’t going down without a fight.
So, in conclusion my date was simple as heck. It’s not some Cinderella story and I’m anything but a Prince. If you read all of this then you can probably gauge just how much of an internet dweller I am. Hear my rally fellow dwellers for there is hope for us and for everyone on this small planet we call Earth. Life works in seriously messed up, unpredictable, and hilarious ways sometimes. The person you fall in love with? They could be one of the amazing people in these comments. Hope is never just right around the corner though. You have to navigate through a hellish maze filled with multiple dead ends before you find a few breadcrumbs to set you straight. Work on yourself, as cliche as that is, and you might just find those breadcrumbs sooner than you think. It takes courage to cling to hope like your life depended on it, but please take that chance Reddit.
I spent 2.5 years with the girl I wanted to marry, have kids with, and love for the rest of my life. I sacrificed so much for her but I was living a fantasy while the sun was slowly setting in our relationship from her perspective.
I was strung along for another 6 months after she broke up with me until she found someone new and left me for the wolves. She never had to deal with the breakup right away like I had to. She had him whereas I was left to try and rebuild a life without her. I had to reclaim my identity and remember what it meant to be alone even if it meant confronting my loneliness and depression. Good news is I’m still alive. To me, this date was like stumbling upon a breadcrumb in that hellish maze I mentioned. It could lead to another breadcrumb or it could lead to something much more.
Only time will tell. So there you have it. A completely accurate yet unnecessarily long description of my date. I couldddd include a TL:DR but I’m too tired and I’m also curious if anyone will take the time to read this. I encourage you to save this post and read it over multiple sittings opposed to just one! However, if you’re brave then please feel free to do so!
Hopefully this wasn’t too disappointing for everyone waiting for a response. If it was, I’m genuinely sorry but if people are interested, I would love to chronicle the progress (if any) of my connection with this lovely woman.

[OC] Chronicles of the Siren War [Chapter 69]

Previous | First
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A/N: Please consider supporting my writing efforts on Patreon. You can follow this story and be alerted when new chapters release via fanfiction.net.
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“Are you sure they’ll be alright?” Thorson asked of Fusou, who had just returned to the docks from a final review of the shrine and its remaining attendants, Michishio and Ooshio. She bowed to him, glancing up as he looked her over. They smiled at one another, knowing where each had been looking.
“If and when this is finished, I will sate your appetite and my own until neither of us can stand, tono-sama,” Fusou promised. “Until then you have a commitment to Arizona and, more importantly, to your country. The shrine will be well attended in our absence. Ooshio and Michishio are shy and docile, but they are competent young women.”
“Then I think we should be on our way,” the Commander responded, looking out to the rising sun in the east with tired eyes. “Any advice on the remaining prisoners?”
“I’m sorry, tono-sama, but I do not have anything more. They have heard my stories about what Yamashiro and I were subjected to. They have seen your way of fighting. All that remains is for them to make a decision. I do not blame Kongou, Suzuya, and the others for their inaction. Soryuu will be the linchpin. If you can win her loyalty, you will win Hiryuu’s as well.”
“It won’t help with this battle, but you never know what the future will hold. Thank you, Fusou. You can head out to your ship.”
She smiled sweetly at him and closed her vibrant, teal eyes before leaning against his body and claiming a small but soft and sensual kiss. “I know I made my promise, but in case the worst happens you should know that I love you, tono-sama. May the seas be smooth for our journey and may the gods watch over you, and all of us.”
“Thank you, Fusou,” he whispered, allowing her to let go of his hand and depart. It was only a moment before Arizona was at his side, slipping her hand into his still warm palm. He tried not to let his surprise show. “How long were you watching?”
“Long enough, Commander. But I’m used to it by now, not to mention I consider Fusou something of a sister at this point. Doesn’t mean I wish to hear about whatever sweet nothings she whispered to you. Have you spoken with Brooklyn?”
“I have,” he affirmed, turning back to take in the base that had become his home over the last half a year. The bulins were loading the last few barrels of oil that the Akashi could reasonably fit aboard, where some of the most competent in Thorson’s fleet would watch over the prisoners while operating their hulls remotely. “Assuming we come back, I’m sure it will still be standing.”
“No matter what happens I will be at your side,” Arizona promised. He squeezed her hand gently.
“Thanks for not trying to tell me going up against the Sakura Navy in their home waters and possibly the sirens too will be ‘just fine’. But that does comfort me. Shall we?”
“Most of the fleet is ready to go,” Arizona relayed, using the tower on the back of her rigging to communicate with her sisters in arms. “Can I offer you a ride?” she asked as they approached the waters of the base’s docks.
“This is more comfortable than your sister’s rigging, but don’t tell her I said that,” Thorson laughed, causing her to giggle back at him. Arizona’s large replica of the front of her hull was long enough to seat the two of them, zipping them across the still waters to where her behemoth of a hull awaited them. “I will never not be amazed at how you can control something like this.”
“It’s because I am my ship,” she explained affectionately, resting a hand against the steel as they climbed aboard.
“I’ll take your word for it. When you’re ready, give the order, Arizona. We sail for Ogasawara and the Sanctuary.”
“Aye aye Commander,” she replied, her medals gleaming in the light of dawn as they headed to her bridge. “The standards are raised. I got one from the girls of each faction. We can proceed.”
Before heading up to the command deck Thorson looked up, finding the Union flag flying above that of the Royal Navy, the old Imperial Navy war ensign, and the banner of the Sakura rebels. “Quite the motley fleet we have here,” he remarked affectionately.
“I’m glad you found something to review other than my backside,” Arizona tittered at him from up the stairs. He reached up and swatted that same backside, knowing it was only the two of them aboard.
“And when did you get so cheeky?” he wondered with a smirk that she eagerly returned.
“Well, sometime around when you asked a shy young woman to be your flagship?” she suggested. “You ah… made your point quite forcefully.”
As his fleet steamed north and west out of the harbor, Thorson realized he would have to focus very intently in the event he wanted to get anything done during the voyage ahead.
-----
Several days into the voyage, which up to that point had been uneventful, Thorson paid a visit to the Akashi to review the prisoner situation. He found South Dakota, Minneapolis, and the Asashio sisters there on guard, with Kasumi cradling Minnie’s head in her lap. He looked down at her in particular.
“What?” Minnie asked as her body shrugged for her. “It’s comfortable down here and the little one is rather gentle.”
“I presume all is well inside then?” Thorson requested. To his surprise, Asashio answered instead of Dakota or Minnie.
“There is great uneasiness, Shikikan, but there have been no incidents. Hiei is awake and able to speak once again. It has defused a significant amount of tension.”
“We’re decidedly within Sakura territory now, even after their retreat following Midway. Be on your guard and be ready to fight at a moment’s notice.”
“Yes sir,” South Dakota replied, her medal gleaming and glinting in the sun from its place in her hair. She was still barely clothed from the waist up, so he presumed that state of affairs would continue for some time.
“I hope this battle will be easier on you,” he offered. She waved his worries off with a brush of her hand on his shoulder.
“You should concern yourself only with victory. Let the evils of doubt and trepidation not fall upon you. We shall be your instruments.”
“Instruments can be discarded. That’s not my way,” Thorson explained in a tone devoid of passion. “Sounds foolish, I know.”
“Foo says that we will be stronger together, and that many can overcome even the strongest warrior if they work in unison,” Kasumi offered.
“She’s right Dakota, you know,” Minnie agreed. “If you have business with the prisoners you’d best get it over with Commander, unless you want to be caught on this ship during a battle. Pants around the ankles isn’t a good look outside of your shared cabin with Arizona, I’d say?”
“Oh haha, very funny,” Thorson replied as even the typically stoic Dakota smiled at the jab. He composed himself, straightening his uniform. “My love life aside, thank you all for your work here.”
“You are welcome, sir. Thank you for coming to check on us,” Dakota replied for the small group, allowing Thorson past her and into the infirmary aboard the Akashi that also served as long term quarters for the prisoners taken both at Java and Midway. He had barely stepped foot inside when Soryuu spoke to him, the tall, lapine carrier leaning against the bulkhead just on the other side of the wall from South Dakota.
“Not your way, is it?” she asked, earning the barrel of his Colt in her face in reply. Their eyes met and he lowered his weapon, taking a deep breath as his heart recovered from the surprise. “I approve more of your reaction to perceived threats than your treatment of your soldiers.”
“Well it’s a good thing I don’t yet evaluate my job on the basis of your approval. You don’t talk to me unless you need something, Soryuu. What do you need?” he demanded. She frowned and crossed her arms over her chest.
“Nothing. The end will soon be upon us one way or another.”
“You still have a chance to determine how this ends,” he insisted, glancing to his right and noticing that both Hiryuu and Kongou were paying close attention to the goings on. “Just not on your own terms, admittedly.”
To his surprise, Soryuu didn’t so much smile as smirk in reply. “That would honestly not be much of a change.”
Thorson didn’t know how to reply to her, so he simply turned away and walked over to Hiei’s bedside. Her scars had not healed, even those on her face, but she was awake and alert. “Do you think this would help you?” Thorson asked, offering her a couple of shards. Many kansen looked on as she silently took one and closed her singed hand around it, but the small, blue crystal refused to assimilate with her being.
“I suppose not,” Hiei replied sadly. “Who are you?”
“The man who led the forces that defeated yours at Midway. I am sorry for what happened to you. I didn’t know this was possible,” he stated truthfully. “Are you able to eat?”
“I am, though I cannot eat the same sort of meals as my sisters now. Akashi has seen to it. I don’t know the details,” she explained, looking him over warily. Thorson’s mind was full of theories, but he didn’t have the faintest of ideas why she would become more human-like in response to what he considered was a broken wisdom cube. He motioned to her sister, though given the difference in hair color and complexion, he figured adopted sister might be a better term.
“If she needs unique care, let us know.”
“Why won’t her wounds heal?” Kongou demanded. Thorson could only shake his head and guess.
“If I had to give an answer, it’s because she’s essentially human now. We don’t… we can’t heal things like that. That being said, living with such an injury is more than doable. Time permitting, we can discuss this more when the battle is over. I hope there won’t be any more like her. I’m sorry, there’s nothing else I can say.”
Kongou’s facial expressions were pained and angry, but she was levelheaded enough to understand Thorson could only do so much given the situation. He turned his attention back to Hiei. “If my force survives the coming battle, I will help you find a new purpose. Your blade was recovered and remains in my office back on the island. In the event your side prevails, you will find it there.”
With everything said that could possibly be said given the realities, Thorson stood and reviewed the rest of them, most of whom averted their eyes. He didn’t blame them. Hiryuu was an exception, of course, and he smiled her way. She frowned back. “When you’re ready to fight again, let me know.”
“Bastard.”
He chuckled to himself. “Yeah, I know. But someone had to stop you. You were too powerful to remain our enemy.” Walking back to the doorway to the exterior of the ship he paused, contemplating what to say to the more cerebral sister of the second carrier division.
“You should go, enemy Shikikan. Battle draws nearer,” she said quietly. He bobbed his head in agreement.
“If we lose, this will likely be the last you see of me. If we win… I will require your aid,” he told her, departing past the guard force before she could give him an answer.
-----
“Shoukaku, Shoukaku-nee!” Zuikaku radioed frantically. One of her scout planes had picked up a large formation, soon corroborated by a second aircraft to be a massive combined fleet of Union and Sakura ships sailing west. “It’s them, the fleet that drove us out of the Java Sea. The Ghost is with them! They’re heading for the Sanctuary! Shoukaku?!”
“I heard you, Zuikaku,” the silver-haired elder replied, looking calmly up at the evening skies as many of her own scout aircraft returned. “Destroy or recall your planes. I think it is finally time for us to make our move.”
“We’re headed south, right? We’re going to join the battle?”
“We are not,” Shoukaku corrected, resting her hand on the still warm engine casing of one of her Zeros. “Unless you wish to die shielding Akagi from her inevitable fate?”
“Of course not!” Zuikaku spat. “But Kaga-sama and the others-”
“Have made their choices, just as we will make ours, Zuikaku. My loyalty remains with Lady Nagato-sama, as it always has. If the Sanctuary comes under direct assault I have no intention of letting such an opportunity go to waste.” Shoukaku’s crane-like kimono billowed in the wind on deck as she began turning her ship, adjusting her heading due north. She placed her flute to her lips and began to play, conjuring a fog to blanket the noise of their engines and to obscure them from view of anyone else watching. “The time has come to liberate the rightful leader of the Sakura from her supposedly self-imposed exile.”
“But Shoukaku…” her sister protested meekly, nevertheless turning to follow after her.
“I know, Zuikaku. Your youthful heart burns for revenge against those who killed Shouhou. But against that fleet you will only meet your doom. If we can deliver Nagato-sama and her guardians safely to the conflict, we may be able to prevent more from suffering the same fate.”
“That’s- We’re going to surrender?!” the brown-haired sister spluttered indignantly.
“We might,” Shoukaku admitted as she finished her melody. “But that die was cast when the decision was made to attack Hawaii, and again when the main force struck at Midway. If you regret remaining out of that battle, by all means go and throw your life away for those kitsune.”
“Could you not be such a jerk about it?” Zuikaku pouted, heading inside and seating herself in a chair on her bridge. “I just don’t know how I’m going to live with myself after all of this.”
Instead of teasing her further, Shoukaku sighed deeply and played a mournful note on her flute. “I know, dear sister. Let us devote everything we have to succeeding in this mission. If we succeed then maybe, just maybe, we will be able to hold our heads high as the Sakura Empire crumbles around us.”
“And if we can’t?” Zuikaku wondered morbidly.
“Then we die proudly and go to our rest knowing that we did so as free women, not siren thralls,” came Shoukaku’s stoic reply. Her sister drew her blade and began her ritualistic honing of its edge.
“Yeah, I can live with that.”
-----
“Alright, so we’re all agreed? The next time anyone shares the commander’s bed for the night they need to tell us all the details! I didn’t realize you were so brave, Zed!” Javelin gushed as the three of them held a ‘secret meeting’ aboard Laffey’s ship.
“Laffey cannot believe Nimi would be first, no no. Commander has much to answer for, yes he does.”
“Mein Gott, Laffey please?” Nimi pleaded, her cheeks bright red as they took shelter from the sun and heat in the shadow of one of Laffey’s torpedo mounts. “I just… I don’t know what came over me.”
“Oh stop teasing her, Laffey,” Javelin insisted with a smile. “The commander saved her life. Don’t you think it’s super romantic? The two of them looking in each other’s eyes and becoming one as she gives herself to the man who rescued her. It makes my cube just flutter!”
“Laffey and the commander drink together, this is also romantic,” the lapine destroyer insisted as Javelin swooned and Zed tried to disappear, looking out at the sea. “Laffey wonders where Ayaya is.”
Javelin and Zed glanced at one another sadly. The Ironblood removed her beret and allowed the breeze to ruffle her blonde hair. “I tried, but I was never able to find any intelligence on her. The Ironblood seems to be operating in accordance with their own interests, and have little concern for allies all the way on the other side of the world.”
“Well if Yuudachi and Yukikaze were willing to join up, hopefully Ayanami will too,” Javelin suggested, trying to dispel the ominous cloud that had hung over the three of them since departing on the mission to destroy the Sanctuary.
“Laffey will kill them all if they do not give Ayaya to us.”
“Laffey! If you do that don’t you think Ayanami would be very sad?” Zed reasoned. “The battleship you attacked is awake now and alive, but anyone less powerful would have been obliterated!”
Laffey hung her head. “Laffey does not know what to do. Laffey was given power to help the commander, but then when Laffey uses it everyone is scared.”
“Laffey,” Javelin said supportively, hugging her friend. “These things happen, but maybe save the big guns for the sirens?”
“Mmm ok,” she agreed before tilting her head. “Nimi says the battleship is awake? Laffey will go now.”
“Wait, what do you mean you’re going? We’re on your ship!” Javelin pointed out. Laffey turned sleepily, shrugging on her vest so she wasn’t just wearing a skimpy white bikini top.
“To find Ayaya.”
-----
Hiei moaned softly and opened her eyes as she sensed a weight on her bed. Her burns didn’t extend that far, but she hated the feeling of tight and uncooperative skin as she moved. Her heart beat quickly as she took note of her visitor. “You.”
“Hey, you get away from her!” Kongou shouted only to find one of the sleepy bunny’s pistols pointed at her face.
“Laffey is not here to hurt the pretty battleship again, but Laffey will do it if you force her to. Laffey is sorry.”
“You, are what?” Hiei whispered.
“Laffey finds many Sakura battleships to be pretty like Yamashiro and Fusou. You are pretty too, and Laffey did a bad thing to protect her commander. But Laffey is not sorry to have protected him, just to have hurt you permanently, yes yes.”
Hiei raised her hand to calm Kongou, who was clearly debating just how far to push her luck. Pennsylvania was observing the goings on from the doorway. “I think it’s fine, sister. What do you want with me, little one?”
“Where is Ayaya. Tell Laffey where her friend is so that Laffey doesn’t have to hurt anyone else,” the destroyer insisted in her still tired voice. Hiei looked around at her fellow prisoners with a confused look on her face. Soryuu spoke up.
“Give up, fellow usagi. Ayanami has gone where you cannot follow. She sleeps forever, dreaming in the Hall of Sculptures, ensnared by the Creator. Maybe one day she will prove her strength and return. Maybe not,” the carrier summarized. Laffey turned her way, her face still sleepy and relatively unresponsive.
“Ayaya is in trouble?” she asked, barely understanding what Soryuu had told her.
“She is beyond trouble. She is beyond this world, at least so far as I can understand,” the carrier clarified. Laffey hung her head and wiped her nose. To the shock of many, she began to cry softly.
“Laffey will save Ayaya, Laffey will do it,” she promised herself before standing to leave, the differential between her sweet, somnolent exterior and internal fury making everyone nearby nervous. “And Laffey will hurt whoever did it much more than the pretty battleship.”
-----
“Commander, what brings you to my neck of the woods?” Hornet wondered, greeting Commander Thorson with a tip of her hat as he disembarked, courtesy of Arizona.
“We’ve been picking up multiple contacts on sonar, and based on navigational data we’ll be at the Sanctuary within twenty four hours. I wanted to stop by and make sure you and your crew are ready,” he explained.
“So they know we’re coming but haven’t engaged us? Well, my scouts haven’t seen anything on the surface so I guess those subs are playing down below,” she deduced, leading him through the bowels of her ship up towards the command tower as Arizona followed politely behind them.
“For now I suppose so. But yes, our movements are undoubtedly not a secret at this point. Not that we’ve tried to hide, either. We still need to take the heat off of the Union.”
“No arguments here, Commander. We were outclassed at Midway and, between you and me; I don’t much fancy the idea of taking a torpedo to the face a second time.”
Thorson nodded approvingly at Hornet’s ability to brush off death. “I think we can all agree on that count, Hornet. Your crew?”
“They’re ready and raring to go, sir. They want revenge for Yorktown, same as Enty. Has she spoken to you much lately?”
“No, she’s been rather quiet,” Thorson confided as they reached the bridge and looked out over Hornet’s operations. A couple of Hellcats were returning from their latest sortie. Hornet’s brow furrowed with worry.
“Do you think you could stop by and have a chat with her then? I make sure to radio every so often but she’s never been one for long conversations. That said, I still know something’s different, being her sister and all.”
“You both just lost your other sister, it’s understandable,” Thorson agreed, thankful that Hornet didn’t seem to be too broken up. He considered that having her crew with her likely helped, placing their needs ahead of descending into a grief spiral. “I’ll head over after this, speak with her in person.”
“I’d appreciate that Commander, thanks much,” Hornet said, looking out over the Pacific. “So any last words of wisdom or encouragement?”
“I think I already mentioned no heroics, so that just about covers it. That said,” he continued, running a hand through his hair. “It’s not like that stopped anyone at Midway.”
“Yeah, I heard the stories about Tennessee cleaving that carrier in half. Must have been one hell of a sight!” Hornet replied almost eagerly. “Think she’ll do it again?”
“Given what I’ve seen of the kansen who was operating it, Hiryuu, I doubt Tennessee will be given another chance to pull something like that. Think you can handle the enemy carriers without overextending?”
“Sure, Commander,” Hornet replied, summoning a tiny Dauntless in her hand. “I’ve been bouncing ideas off of Ark lately, sounds like she scored some kills by out-turning the enemy. A Hellcat isn’t exactly a P-40, but I bet you I can still push mine harder than those Sakura can push a Zero, you know?”
“I was on a submarine before this assignment,” Thorson related. “So I can’t say I do know, honestly, but I trust Ark Royal and I trust you. Have there been any incidents or concerns you want to bring to my attention?”
“I assume you heard about Yuudachi and Shiratsuyu?” Hornet asked.
“I heard Penny had to drag her kicking and screaming off of this boat,” Thorson replied, raising his brows. Hornet chuckled.
“I disciplined the whelp hard, don’t worry sir. The rest of the lads like her a lot, lots of celebrating when the little pup shows up to cook! What happened to Yuudachi? I hope Penny wasn’t too harsh on her.”
Thorson shook his head. “Given Penny’s opinion on Union sailors I’ll bet she congratulated Yuudachi more than anything. But I’m glad that’s the most of our worries. When this is done there will be time for you and your crew to get accustomed to this life, hopefully on less stressful terms.”
“This is what we were trained for, sir. We’re ready,” Hornet insisted. Thorson saluted her, knowing he could only hope for the best now that he was committed.
“I thought I was trained for this too. You have an excellent group of escorts, Hornet. I look forward to seeing you all in combat.”
The carrier nodded and looked past him to Arizona. She winked at her. “It’s quite the honor being assigned some of your favorite battleships, sir. Got room for one more in that club of yours?”
After a few moments of silence Hornet dissolved into laughter. “Oh you should see your faces. Alright alright, I guess my former Captain and I had a different kind of relationship when it comes to jokes like that. Sorry Ari, not trying to horn in on your man, yeah?”
“Oh goodness,” she groaned at the pun. “Commander, perhaps we should go speak with Enterprise? There is no telling when the enemy might engage.”
“Agreed. Hornet, thanks for your time,” Thorson said. Hornet saluted them as they made their departure.
“Anytime you two. Ready and willing to bring it home!”
Thorson looked back at her, unable to miss the Medal of Honor gleaming on her chest. “I’ve no doubt, Hornet. We’re ready to see what Union airpower can really do.
-----
“I miss Yorktown,” Hammann whispered, giving in to temptation as she rested her head in Enterprise’s lap and allowed the carrier to pet and scratch lightly at her ears. It had been impossible for Enterprise to miss the way that the Sakura felines treated the petite destroyer. Upon confirming her cat-like accessories were in fact part of her anatomy, it had been all too tempting to slip into a mutual dependency based on the therapeutic nature of pets.
“I didn’t get a chance to know her very well, but it sounds like the Union lost itself a fine sailor and a kind sister,” Thorson said as politely as he could, rapping on the side of Enterprise’s command tower to announce his presence. He and Arizona had located the two Union kansen taking shelter in the shade there. Hammann promptly leapt to her feet with balled fists and her tail on end, accusing Thorson of being a stalker and a pervert. Enterprise exhaled audibly and stood next to the irked kitten, rubbing her head and tweaking her ears.
“Apologize to the commander before you get us both in trouble, Hammann.”
Arizona could not help but place a hand over her lips and smile at Hammann’s fearsome pout. “She has a hotter temper than Yukikaze, but is no less cute!”
“Why did you get to come back, you and Hornet but not Sims or Yorktown?” the destroyer demanded. Thorson gave Enterprise an understanding look.
“I wish that I knew,” he replied solemnly. “All I do know is that they’re at peace. It’s very obvious when dead Kansen don’t want to stay dead.”
“But why would she want to leave me?!”
“I don’t know why she doesn’t want to come back. Maybe she didn’t even consider it to be possible. But I’m sure that leaving you behind isn’t something either of them would have wanted,” he tried to comfort her.
“If Yorktown told Grim to leave, then I’m sure she knew it was her time. Hornet, of course, would never accept something like that as the youngest. It’s… fitting,” Enterprise summarized sadly. “Why did you come here, Commander?”
“I just paid your sister a visit and wanted to check in with you as well,” he explained. “We will likely make contact within the day. You aren’t the most senior carrier in the fleet but I think Ark would not hesitate to nominate you the most powerful. I know the wounds are raw, but I want you to use your aircraft defensively when the engagement begins, at least initially.”
“You wish to test their defenses and possibly draw out a mistake?” Enterprise deduced. Thorson nodded. “While I never engaged them directly before Midway, I think it’s pretty clear I’m known to them and that they see me as a priority target. I will be happy to draw them into a trap if possible. What will you do with them?”
“Kill them, right?!” Hammann suggested immediately, horrified that that solution wasn’t immediately on everyone’s lips.
“If this war were just about the Union and the Sakura, I would execute them, yes,” he confirmed. “But they are unfathomably strong, too. Neither of you saw what we saw. They can command fire itself. Now I’m not saying any of us need to do that to beat them, but the sirens need to be dealt with. What better… ally than someone who knows something about them?” Thorson reasoned.
“I don’t like this commander at all.”
“Hammann!” Enterprise finally raised her voice, a bit of the emotion contained within slipping through. “Commander, is that really necessary?”
“I wish it wasn’t, Enterprise. But again you weren’t there at Pearl Harbor, nor were you at the facility when we were attacked by the Sirens. Though I get the sneaking suspicion that incident was merely a test, given the extent of their technology. My orders are to find a way to deal with them, and if that includes binding those damn carriers to our cause then so be it. If they refuse you can kill them yourself, Enterprise. Not sure I could bring myself to execute a woman.”
“Is that what it would be, sir?” Enterprise demanded quietly. “A gun to the head?”
“Hiei survived Laffey’s so called annihilation mode. That is the most powerful single weapon at my disposal. The only way they will be weak enough to kill is if they are removed from their ships and perhaps even divested of their rigging. By that point, yes, there will be no indirect methods. I don’t think they would allow themselves to be drowned like… that one ship,” Thorson theorized darkly. Enterprise and Hammann looked at him with new expressions.
“For a pervert, you tell very sad stories, Commander,” the neko said. Thorson held out his hand as Enterprise looked ready to toss Hammann in the drink for insubordination.
“There have already been many sad stories in this war, Hammann. And while the label isn’t exactly wrong, I’d prefer you keep that opinion to yourself. I am still your commander, after all. Enterprise, do you need anything from me or the fleet?”
“No sir, I’m ready for battle. You are… quite up front about your proclivities, though.”
Thorson shrugged. “I was embarrassed about it for a while too. A few self-interested but rather wise kansen talked me out of it. I’m up front about it because the alternative would be even worse. For the record, many of the most decorated kansen at Midway have no relationship with me beyond commander and subordinate.”
Enterprise’s confused and slightly disappointed expression didn’t fade, but she did nod briefly at him. “I understand your meaning, Commander. Thank you for coming to check in with us today.”
“You’re welcome, Enterprise. Formal combat orders will be given once we have a visual on the Sanctuary. Until then do your best to relax and get some rest,” he suggested.
“Yes sir, we will.”
-----
“They are coming, Akagi,” Kaga whispered, placing a cup of matcha on the table in front of her adoptive younger sister as fierce rains drenched the night-shrouded sanctuary. “Even with the rains there is no mistaking their approach. Our submarine fleets have confirmed it.”
“And you ordered them not to attack,” Akagi replied quietly, taking a sip. “No matter, if one of them sunk the Grey Ghost I would probably kill her myself.”
“You think this is about your personal vendetta anymore, Akagi?” Kaga snapped suddenly, even as she calmly drank her tea. “The fifth carrier division can only be considered to have defected by now. We lost several powerful kansen and dozens of escorts at Midway. And before you say something foolish about the strong surviving and the weak perishing, neither you nor I are strong enough to destroy the Union in its entirety. We are strengthened by our fleets. And our fleets dwindle with each engagement as his grows. The Knight of the Union comes for us, Akagi. And if you believe Enterprise will still be using human crews in this engagement you are an even greater fool than I thought.”
“You dare speak to me in that way, sister?” Akagi simpered dangerously, her tails glowing softly in the low lantern light. Kaga’s icy eyes did not waver.
“The Hornet sails with him,” she reported. “Our only victory at Midway was just cut in half, Akagi! Your lust for Enterprise’s head may have already doomed us all. We were forced to display the extent of our powers to them and did not even scratch his base of operations!”
The supreme commander of the Sakura fleets was silent across the kotatsu from her sister, violence practically radiating from her being. “When the Creator witnesses my strength; when I am granted the power to bring back Amagi, I will be sure to kill you before she returns so that she does not weep over the body of her weak, spineless protégé. Why are you laughing, Kaga? Does that amuse you so?”
Kaga shook her head sadly. “Your belief that any of us will be left alive for you to kill is what amuses me, little sister. Enjoy the rest of your tea. I will make my preparations tonight, alone. I may not have lived as Amagi-san wished for us, but if I am to die tomorrow then I will die with honor, and join her among the gods. May the Creator show you mercy, Akagi. The gods and ancestors of the Sakura Empire will not.”
Akagi’s face remained stoic as Kaga stood and walked quietly from the room. As soon as she could no longer hear the sounds of her wooden clogs on the tatami, the teacup in her hand shattered into a dozen pieces. The kitsune could barely feel the scalding water on her fingers. “When I am victorious, alone, I will not need their mercy.”
-----
Previous | First

AITA for Laughing and Pointing Out the True Meaning of My Friend's Asian Character Tattoo? He Is Very Upset.

Hours Upon Hours of Research and DD in One Post

THIS CANNOT BE BOUGHT ON WEBULL AND/OR ROBINHOOD... TD Ameritrade and Schwab are 2 prime candidates to buy it on. This is also an OTC Pink Slip which tend to have a much higher risk than stocks on the NYSE. Only invest what you're willing to lose. I am not a financial advisor.
With that, I currently hold 1 mil shares @ $.0001. Grabbed it back in August 2020 off a random post here. Literally bought as a joke to say I own a million shares of a company and as a $100 lotto ticket (with zero DD). I didnt start actually looking into the company til a few weeks ago when it started moving. Holding all million for 1-2 years at a minimum (although I did buy another 10k shares at a later date ($.001) that I'll sell at some point). Do your own DD, but with all the upcoming catalysts this one is sitting on the launchpad ready to 🚀🚀🚀 to Pluto. Actually I'll make it easy for you, here you go in terms of catalysts...

Multiple chain retailers are on board and are in the process of signing a contract with INND. A few have said they want to wait on mid tier OTCQB (OTCQB is 1 cent or higher per share) as well as FDA Approval, but a large handful have also said they want product now.
New product with better tech and for a lower cost coming out in March (just posted a tweet of the new product today Friday, 29 Jan 2021)
Doing a dual PR release with a NYSE chain retailer in the near future (my guess is Target or Best Buy)
Recently announced no reverse split... with the current growth and the fact they want to grow organically they're trying to avoid this at all cost.
Been waiting for FDA approval on over the counter hearing aids... The Over the Counter Hearing Aid Act was passed in 2017 to sell and FDA is suppose to approve by 18 February 2021. You're going to see the 18 August 2020, but what people dont realize is that is when the public commenting was closed on the matter. They also have 2 politicians pushing the FDA to make a decision sooner than later, but it will definitely happen this month.

Put the quoted material in order that made the most sense, but this is taken directly from the NIDCD .gov site in regards to #5...

"In the FDA Reauthorization Act of 2017 (FDARA), Congress outlined certain requirements to establish a category of over-the-counter (OTC) hearing aids and the requirements that apply to them. This statutorily mandated process requires FDA to publish proposed regulations for public comment, and then to publish final regulations"
"A law established on August 18, 2017, as part of the FDA Reauthorization Act of 2017, directed the FDA to create a category of OTC hearing aids for adults who might have mild-to-moderate hearing loss. As part of this process, the FDA must issue a proposed rule by August 18, 2020, and a final rule within six months of the close of the comment period on the proposed rule."
"The FDA is establishing regulations that manufacturers of OTC hearing aids will need to follow. In general, these federal regulations will:

Ensure that the OTC devices are safe and effective for people with mild-to-moderate hearing loss.
Set standards for package labels to help buyers understand OTC hearing aids and who might benefit from them. The labels will also include warnings and other information you should know before buying or when using the hearing aid, such as signs that indicate that you should see your primary care provider or other health care professional.
Currently, hearing devices that you can buy directly (without seeing a health care professional first) are not intended for people with hearing loss. Importantly, these devices, known as personal sound amplification products (PSAPs), are for people without hearing loss to boost their ability to hear certain sounds in certain situations, such as while hunting. PSAPs are not regulated as medical devices by the FDA. In contrast, the FDA will regulate forthcoming OTC hearing aids as medical devices for adults with hearing loss."
Finally in regards to number 5, this is the letter from the FDA sent out in July 2018...
July 24, 2018
Dear Hearing Aid Manufacturer:
In section 709 of the FDA Reauthorization Act of 2017 (FDARA), Congress enacted a definition, outlined certain requirements, and set forth a process for establishing a category of over-the-counter (OTC) hearing aids and the requirements that apply to them. That statutorily mandated process provides for FDA to publish proposed regulations by August 18, 2020, to consider public comments, and then to publish final regulations within 180 days of the close of the comment period. Section 709 also includes a preemption provision stating that no state or local law can be different from, in addition to, or not identical to, the regulations that FDA will establish for OTC hearing aids under authority of FDARA.
Section 709 reflects a careful balance between consumer access to new technologies and consumer protections to assure the safety and effectiveness of OTC hearing aids. The protections include output limits, appropriate labeling, advisements about when to consult with a licensed health care practitioner, and guidance on when premarket review by FDA would be required.
Section 709 is not self-implementing, meaning that the OTC hearing aid category, as defined by FDARA section 709, does not exist until the effective date of a published final regulation. Until that time, no products that are claimed to address hearing loss are, or can claim to be, OTC hearing aids within the meaning of FDARA section 709.
Currently, hearing aids continue to be restricted devices, for which sales must follow applicable federal and state requirements. FDA has published a guidance document stating that the agency will not enforce the requirement for a medical evaluation or waiver under 21 CFR 801.421, but manufacturers should be mindful of any similar state law requirements.
If you have questions about this communication, please contact the Division of Industry and Consumer Education (DICE) at [email protected] 800-638-2041 or 301-796-7100.
Sincerely, /s/ William Maisel, MD, MPH Director, Office of Device Evaluation Director, Office of Compliance (Acting) Chief Medical Officer Center for Devices and Radiological Health U.S. Food and Drug Administration
The only other competitor is $EAR and they're currently trading around the $50-60 range. On the topic of Eargo (EAR) Inc, they are only an online retailer with no physical stores. They are however like the Bose Headphones of hearing aids from the sounds of the website. But, it looks like they're target market is upper class... they're cheapest option is the base model at $19XX with the top of the line running you roughly $2950! Gross profit wise they reported $12.8 mil in 3rd quarter... up from $4.2 mil in 3rd quarter 2019.
They're primed to be up in this area IMO... hell even half of what they're trading would be amazing. Currently selling in Walmart, Sears, another retailer I cant think of, and on Amazon. They also already have a handful of brick and mortar stores in NorCal with plans to take over the entire West Coast. They're target market is the average Joe IMO. Like I stated earlier, they plan to partner up and sign contracts with a host of other retailers including Target, Walgreens, CVS, Rite Aid, and Best Buy just to name a few. According to the CEO, with the proposed retail stores they projecting $EAR level revenue and with the FDA Approval they project to be x100 more in revenue.
$EAR is really the only other competition, but it does give a small insight into the hearing aid market. Another hearing aid company is in Minnesota, but it sounds like that company has a host of upper management issues that is currently putting them in and out of court. They also havent released a product in a few years. Found a handful of others as well, but didnt really dig past Eargo Inc.
With INND's new product, they'll be selling the base model at $995 and the top of the line at $1450. On top of that, they have a large handful of kiosks in Wal Marts that are free to use (with plans to roll out more in the very near future). What's the purpose of the kiosks? "InnerScope’s Hearing Loss Information Center will encourage Walmart customers to take immediate action for treating their hearing loss by either being referred locally to a contracted hearing healthcare professional, or by directly purchasing one of InnerScope’s Hearing Products." They're currently in about 4500 Walmarts.
Now for the bad, but good. They're currently delinquent on SEC Filings. HOWEVER, they're working on becoming current within the next 55 days. The last time they filed financials was back in 2018! I honestly havent looked at numbers because of this and I'm still learning how to read all the numbers.
Last but not least, remember I OWN a large cheap/low risk to me position... do your own DD and feel free to verify all my info. In regards to a penny stock this is a very long 12-18 month min hold. I'm planning to hold all million shares til at a minimum then. I know a handful of others that are doing the same. I'm not trying to pump (twitter account has 6 followers haha, I generally lurk here, and I havent publically said anything on social media), but every close friend I've told has bought a position into it. Right now you can spend $78 for 10k shares if you want to take a super small position.
Best part about this is, the CEO updates the company twitter page nightly and is completely transparent! Also, yesterday, one of the twitter peeps I follow has been asking the CEO questions and asked him if he sees this reaching 5 cents before March with the next 2 PR releases. CEO responded that he does see it reaching 5 cents in the near future and that the next 30 days will be interesting.
At the end of 2021/beginning of 2022 the CEO hopes they'll be high enough to uplist again to a New York Exchange, get out of the OTC market, and bring in more investors.
Last, but not least, my personal take on March...
They're working on contracts with major retail stores, but a few stores want to see it listed as a mid tier OTC as well as FDA approval so they can invest in them... which I'm assuming means buy product. They just announced they're releasing a new product in March and coming current with SEC filings in the next 55 days. Maybe I'm completely wrong, but I'm now wondering if March is when literally everything comes together. They're projecting the stock to be above 1 cent or 10 cents, contracts with all the major retailers get approved, and to "celebrate" in a way they start off those contracts with a new product in all the new stores. It wouldnt make sense to launch the old product in new stores for a month then turn around and send out the new and improved model
Cheers Jonny Walker
Edit 1: Market Cap INND VS EAR comparison
INND Market Cap: 34,054,964 (02 Feb 2021) Authorized Shares: 14,975,000,000 (02 Feb 2021) Outstanding Shares: 4,366,020,973 (02 Feb 2021) Restricted Shares: 67,539,001 (02 Feb 2021) Float: 90,629,677 (02 Feb 2021)
EAR Market Cap: 2,294,627,686 (02 Feb 2021) Authorized Shares: NA Outstanding Shares: 38,186,515 (18 Nov 2020) Restricted Shares: NA Float: NA
Source: otcmarkets.com
Edit 2: Twitter News as of 03 February 2021 News just dropped on twitter today
Joint PR release with a NYSE retailer dropping in the near future. Basic mutual conservative financial projection from just this retailer is 60,800 units sold. That comes out to $11.5 mil in NET rev in the first 12 months from just this one retailer.
Also, confirmed today that they can build easily 10k sets a month with quality control.
Edit 3: With current market cap someone pointed out it's estimated to be a $6 stock if INND matches EAR. However, if INND does in fact surpass EAR it will be $6+. I cant confirm this as I'm still trying to figure out how the equations and numbers all work when doing DD though.

Hunter or Huntress Chapter 69: How’s it Going?

So then Time to see what happens in our little story today. will, Tom get the girl, or will the girls get him, Is sapphire in over her head, does Dakota have any clue where they are going? Time to find out. As always thanks goes out to TwoFlower68 for assisting in sanitizing the chapter for general viewing. Blessings be upon his soul for reading this in its original state.
With that out of the way let's get on with the show.
ko-fi For having a pretty picture commissioned.
Sapphire
First Previous Next
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Chapter 69: How’s it Going?
Tom entered the infirmary to find the stricken Esmeralda, Kokashi still by her side. She was looking a lot better it seemed. Kokashi’s perpetually worried expression was also gone.
“So, how are you doing?”
“I’ll manage, thanks for letting me borrow the music box” She tapped the little speaker standing on her bedside table. She seemed a bit more lively too, the first few days even speaking had been hard on her. In fact, she seemed mostly back to her normal self if a little tired looking. Tom guessed she was only still in bed because Nunuk demanded it. He wasn’t gonna question her on weird magic dragon poison though.
“Sorry for not coming by, kinda busy yesterday and no problem, that was the least I could do.”
“Heard you got the fields plowed, how did the sowing go?”
“I gotta say making furrows with dragon claws is a lot easier than with a hoe.” Esmeralda did chuckle at that even if it was a little weakly. Tom was a bit ashamed at that though, he really should have come by more often.
“Thought of something though, sorry I didn't remember sooner, did Kokashi tell you about the movies?”
“Oh yes not just him, Rakshaza and Vigon haven’t shut up about Dug and Kevin yet” She did sound like she was in good spirits, that was always good.
“You need to be careful with this. I did bring three, but this is the most precious thing I own.” Tom brought up one of the spare laptops he had with him. He knew these things weren’t gonna last forever, but losing one would still be a big hit. Esmeralda sat up in her bed leaning against the wall, as she looked at the strange box on her lap.
“Tom you shouldn’t wha… I don’t know what to say”
“Hey you're borrowing it” Tom went in jest, of course, she knew that, “Just be careful with it. They are quite fragile and don’t get liquid anywhere near it.”
Kokashi leaned in looking at it, tapping the keyboard a few times. “So that is what you doing late at night. I was wondering what that sound was.” Nice reminder that things weren't as private around here, Tom thought to himself.
“Yes, this is a computer, more specifically a laptop because it sits on your lap... see.” He went, gesturing at the machine.
“Sure… is this my lap?” Esmeralda questioned placing her hands on her thighs.
“Right sorry I forgot. yes, that is your lap… Anyway. At its most basic this is a thinking machine. It can remember a lot of things, like books or movies. I don’t have any books in Draconic or movies for that matter. I thought you could watch the movies we saw and then Kokashi can explain for you”
“Sure, I wanna watch those Red Tails again too,” Kokashi replied optimistically. “You say it can remember. How much can it remember?” Boy how to answer that one?
“Well, in book form that box on your lap can remember more information than every book in the world I think.” There was a look of apprehension and a tinge of fear on her face.
“And you have kid’s movies on it?”
“...yes, and drawings of things we need, pictures from my home and a lot of music. Just be careful with it and enjoy the movies okay?”
“I’m just gonna pretend I understand what you are talking about,” Esmeralda went, confusion near total as she looked at it. “Thank you for lending me something so precious, but… how does it... you know… work?”
“Right, first off…” Kokashi leaned in to get a better look as well, as he went about explaining how to use the marvel of engineering that was the computer.
Perhaps it wasn’t entirely fair on the two dragonettes but Tom felt like he was explaining the internet to a couple of grandparents. This was likely the most advanced piece of technology ever held by a dragonette though so they did have an excellent excuse.
Still, figuring out how to double click on an icon shouldn't have been that difficult. By now they could open a movie though, so that would have to do.
“Remember it’s no kids toy either and whatever you do, don’t let Jackalope have it”
“Certainly not. Thank you.” Esmeralda replied, seeming very excited.
“Don’t mention it, oh and the battery will last around 4 hours then it needs to be recharged like the spea… music box.” Tom had put the two movies Kokashi had seen on the desktop for them.
“No worries. Now hubby, what do you wanna see first?”
“Definitely Red Tails” The guard responded a little sternly. Thinking back Up might have been a very poor choice for a couple dealing with a sick wife… goddammit he was an idiot. He would have to do better for next movie night.
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“I keep telling you we should just ask for directions, come on he looks nice” Balethon went pointing at a street vendor selling different kinds of fried meat on sticks.
“Yup,” Maiko replied, electing that he was done waiting for them and went over to the stall, leaving them standing. A brief chat and two beef sticks later, one of which one was handed to Balethon, much to Sapphire's annoyance and they knew where they were going.
“We were already heading down here anyway, we would have found it” Dakota protested.
“Yeah, yeah” Maiko clearly wasn't impressed by them right now. They had gotten fairly close but must have missed it. The sun was getting lower in the sky so making out the signs was getting a bit tricky “Isn’t that it?” he went, pointing up to a dangling sign on the third level.
“Sure looks like it,” Balethon replied with false exasperation. Sapphire didn’t care about the teasing though. She was already going up the stairs to the next level, it had been half a decade since she last saw a member of her family, she just crossed her fingers that Haiko would be here.
She turned back to look at the others who were slowly following along “Come on!” Dakota and Balethon did pick up the pace a little, even if Maiko was clearly content with his leisurely pace munching on his beef stick.
As she made it up the stairs to the third level, looked to the door, seeing a single armored man standing guard outside and only sleeping slightly at his post.
“Haiko!” The man gave a start as he looked up and began scanning the crowd. It didn’t take long for him to find her as she was already sprinting for him.
“Saph!” He just about got out before she slammed into him. “Oomph. Happy to see you too” He just embraced her or at least tried as she lifted him off the ground. It had been way too long.
“Oh, I knew you would be here. How's it hanging” She put him back down.
“Not too badly, got the job as you can see, it’s nice and quiet most of the time. How about you, enjoying the quiet life in the countryside”
“Ha, if only. If anything, things have been too exciting as of late.”
“How come that be, all I heard from the patrons was a keep out east was attacked a month ago and nearly wiped out.”
“Yeah, that was us. We were the ones doing the wiping out though” Haiko looked at her with a stunned expression for a second.
“But... What!” He finally exclaimed sounding almost angry, for a second before calming down. “But there was a black knight wasn’t there?... how many did you lose?”
Sapphire's expression changed to something a bit more pained at that, it hadn’t been a clean victory after all.
“They killed a four-year-old. as a hostage”
“I’m so sorry” he went, pulling her into a hug again. “Wait, hostage, they got inside!?”
“Yeah, last mistake they ever made” Sapphire's companions made it up behind her, so she turned to do the introductions.
“Haiko, meet Dakota, my commander, daughter of my Lady, and a very good friend. Balethon, guard of the keep, and Maiko, corporal in the royal guard.”
“I remember you, Dakota, you were with Saph last time right?”
“That I was, pleasure to meet again”
“Likewise, and a royal guard, what are you doing here? It's a pleasure of course” Haiko went looking at the corporal.
“Just here to report where they end up staying. If you gotta have a good drink I’ll tell you a war story though." He went with a smirk.
“I’m sure someone might, not seen you before either, Haiko, Saph's big brother”
“Oh, we’ve heard of you alright.” Hands were shaken all around as they all stood outside the little tavern. It looked nice enough though.
“I’m sure you have, now come on in. Draki! Mind covering for me, one of my sisters is here!” He shouted inside.
“No way! Sure bro.” Came the reply. As they went inside a very small male dragonette with a long pike over his shoulder came walking past giving Haiko a fist bump as they passed. Sapphire just had a chuckle. It was good to be back here again.
The inside was mostly tables and chairs, with a single bar up against the far wall. There was a fireplace on the left wall and stairs leading up to the rooms above. There were a few patrons here and there, it wasn’t cramped though, just cozy.
“Hey, Reiker got a room for my sister and her two friends?”
“Sure, we got plenty, how many do they want?” The man behind the bar answered.
“We’ll take two” Dakota replied, Sapphire guessed the two of them were sharing them, not a problem.
“No problem, here you go, first two on the left. You want meals too?”
Dakota looked back at Haiko, “Can they cook here?"
“Oh yeah, chef's amazing. If you go up with your things I'll buy the first round”
“Very well, two rooms with meals. For at least a week, probably more.”
“Can do” the barkeep replied noting something down on a slate. “That will come to 44 copper per night for the three of you.” That wasn’t a bad price Sapphire mused to herself, she wondered if they were getting a discount right now.
They went up to their rooms to dump the bags and get changed. They had been carrying those around for hours and they were still all in winter gear.
“Not a bad place it seems, almost worth the walk” Dakota went in jest as they got changed.
“Hey, it's not my fault I hadn't seen it yet. What now though?”
“I say we take the day off, you have a good chat with your brother and we drink Balethon under the table. Then we see what happens tomorrow, we should have plenty of time. You think our things will be safe up here?”
“If they're not I’ll break his neck” Sapphire replied jokingly.
“I totally believe you” Dakota replied sarcastically. “Now let’s see if we can get a war story out of the corporal, I’m tired of hearing about daring trade runs where nothing happens apart from them getting chased for a bit”
They made it back downstairs to find the three men already sitting at a table, two mugs standing ready for them.
“Right then, everyone's here. So what brings you to these parts with a royal guard escort and for weeks no less”
“Legal matters, executed a traitor, some noble bitch didn’t like it, she then stabbed my oldest friend with a poison dagger, so were are here to bury her in shit as deep as we can.”
Sapphire could feel a few of the other tables switching their gaze to look at them. That was quite the opening.
“I see, did this have to do with you know” Haiko tried, clearly concerned about broaching the sensitive subject.
“Yeah, the traitor let them in our door. Was even dumb enough to confess”
“Only after he was given a few minutes with Tom” Sapphire added.
“Tom?”
“Oh yeah, you need to meet him one day, he’s awesome. Killed a dark knight like it was some annoying cretin” Balethon interjected. Well, they certainly had the attention of everyone now.
“He’s a strange one for sure", Maiko added, sipping his drink.
“A dark knight, just like that?” Haiko questioned, clearly not quite believing it.
“Well, my mother and I had been dueling the beast first, not that we were winning” Dakota added in a somber tone, that had been a very close call.
“How did he do it, you don't just…”
“Fire magic” Sapphire cut him off. “He’s a powerful mage, speaking of we should totally go see Linkosta, isn't she still studying at the academy."
“She sure is, you aren't the only one who gets to see some long lost family on this trip,” Dakota added before taking a deep draught of the beer. This was some quality stuff unlike what they had on their way here.
“Oh come now, you were here last year too.” Sapphire objected. Dakota just kept the mug to her mouth looking at Sapphire with a sly smile.
“What about Viper, is she around?” Sapphire questioned, turning to Haiko.
“Don't know to be honest. She is flying with the traders and has been for a while. I don’t think she is right now, but if you're here for a while, who knows, she might come by.” He replied with a shrug.
“Fingers crossed, you do look better when you smile,” Balethon added. Sapphire just shook her head a bit, raising her mug.
“To family reunions”
“To family reunions” They all echoed, even Maiko despite not really knowing anyone involved. Still, the beer was worth a cheer.
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With Esmeralda seen to, it was time for the day’s hunting expedition. Unlike last time they were hunting the woods. Jackalope's hand was also finally out of its bandage even if it still looked a little rough. She could shoot her bow in a pinch but Tom guessed that would be a rather painful experience. Her wings were perfectly functional though so he currently found himself sitting in a treetop with her, watching the forest floor below rifle at the ready.
“You seen anything yet?” Jackalope went impatiently. Feet dangling over the side.
“No, and I won't if you keep making noise.” He could hardly be mad at her, she must be bored out of her mind right now. “Wait, what’s that?”
That got her attention as she shot up to look, clambering over nearly causing him to fall off the branch. “What, where?”
“Well, if there had been anything there it would be long gone now. Calm down, or we won't ever get anything.”
“Why don’t you just jump on my back and we take them at ground level, like a proper huntress.”
“'Cause I can't hit anything when you are going flat out like that and you know it.”
“I can, Sapphire definitely can, even Fengi can.”
"Well, you aren't lying on top of someone trying to keep a long metal stick steady.”
“You think using a bow is easier?” Fair point, it was easier when you were the one doing the wingbeats though.
“No, clue haven't used one since I was a kid,” There was a disgruntled sound as she returned to her branch and continued to dangle her feet over the edge. “What about the others have they found anything yet?”
“Maybe, how should I know when we are just sitting here doing nothing”
“Fair point.” It took a lot more waiting before anything happened, Jackalope did eventually shut up though. Eventually, there was some actual rustling in the bushes below, as some massive beast came lumbering along.
“Jackalope what’s that?” Tom went as quietly as he could.
“Huh, what’s what?” Oh, she had fallen asleep, that explained the lack of noise, at least she slept light.
“Careful don’t scare it. That big thing down there.” Jackalope slowly clambered over at least trying to be stealthy for once. Being white didn’t really help her case, but she was trying.
“A Tirox, you know like the little energetic guy in Archeon's crew. Those things are big and slow, supposedly great steaks too. I still think he was named for irony though”
“Or maybe hopefulness. Looks huge, can we kill it?” It looked like a huge ox that, might well be the size of a small rhino. “How would we even get that out.”
“Sure, I bet Jarix could lift that if he really wanted to."
“You sure? Looks heavy. You think he would be okay with walking home?” Jackalope just stared at him like he was crazy.
“Tom, that would take until tomorrow you dumb fuck. I’m sure he can fly with it though.” Taking Jackalope's word for it probably wasn’t the best idea, but damned if he knew what that thing weighed.
“I’m not sure though, shouldn't we ask first?"
“And then it’s gone when we get back. Just kill it, would you?” Well, Jackalope was still technically in command and he wasn’t about to disobey an order, like that. The horns on that thing would make an awesome trophy too.
Tom felt like some big game hunter stalking his prey as he hung over the side of the huge branch they were sitting on, taking aim directly on the creature's neck at the base of the skull. The huge cow thing was just grazing merrily far beneath them. Giving him a clear shot straight down, “Here goes nothing then”
The shot rang out and he ran the action ready for a follow-up shot. He had hit his mark though as the beast tensed for a moment then collapsed in a heap on the ground.
“Nice shot dude, it just fucking died on the spot!” Jackalope went excited as always when things went bang. “I always hate it when Sapphire does that, thinking she is better than everyone.” Tom chuckled a bit at her enthusiasm, he had sure hit his mark. It wasn’t that far down though and not a small target either. Hardly a masterful performance.
“Yeah yeah, go get the others will you, I’ll guard it in the meantime.”
“You got it,” Jackalope responded as she dropped off the branch taking to the wing. As he sat there keeping an eye on the forest around him. It was all rather idyllic, if awfully quiet following the shot. Before he came here he might have been worried by the roughly one hundred meter drop, but now he was just chilling on a branch as wide around as an oil drum.
It took a bit, but eventually Jackalope returned with Fengi and Zarko, he guessed Jarix was overhead with Radexi.
“How are we gonna bring that home, genius?” Zarko protested.
“There’s a clearing over there for Jarix, drag it over there and off we go” Tom replied optimistically.
“He ain’t gonna like this.” Zarko just responded before heading back up. The three of them just looked at each other shrugging for a moment.
“Why not, it’s good exercise” Tom jested holding up his hands.
“You mean hard work” Fengi clarified with a smirk “Let’s go see what we got.”
“Yeah hop on huntress” Jackalope went chuckling giving Tom a playful punch.
“Haha very funny, miss broken hand”
They circled down to the beast landing to inspect it. It was even bigger when down next to it. Tom wondered if Jarix really could carry this thing, jokes aside. It was likely gonna be a tight margin meaning a lot of breaks. At cruising speed they were still around two hours from home.
He saw Jarix set down in the clearing, trotting over.
“Oh, you gotta be kidding me” He went in dismay looking at the tirox.
“Look at it on the bright side. There are some epic steaks in there” Jackalope tried, a noble effort to cheer him up, Tom admitted, as he looked at the dragon.
“Think you are up for it?” Zarko questioned, clearly not certain herself.
“Only one way to find out. Gods, this will be like basic training all over again. Wait, is that your plan here, am I going through basic training again?” Jarix went looking at Tom accusingly.
“It was just the first thing to come by… sorry”
“How did you even kill it, there isn’t a mark on it?” Jarix questioned, walking around the tirox looking it over.
“The little red dot on its neck” Tom replied. “That's the bullet hole, broke its neck in a single shot. Didn't want to get our precious dragon dirty”
“Very thoughtful,” Jackalope added, trying her best to sound convincing. She was being remarkably helpful today. Or at least trying to be.
“Why thank you for caring. The gun you are making for me is even bigger than yours right?”
“Oh yes,” Tom replied proudly. “We’re going with fifty caliber for you”
“For the big machine gun then. Get the rope out” They did as instructed, as the dragon laid down next to the tirox and they began preparing lashings. Actually getting the tirox onto Jarix was a problem Tom hadn’t really foreseen and it was too big to be dangling beneath him.
In the end, the very much not graceful solution was to have Jarix lay up against it while they lashed the two of them together. Praying the ropes and harness would hold. With a heave of effort, the young dragon rolled over, dragging the tirox onto his back.
“By the king, that is heavy” It took a bit more work to get the load properly settled and secured, but with some delicate maneuvering and creative use of an oak tree it looked more or less good to go. It looked ridiculous but it might just work.
“Right then, wish me luck” Jarix went in a perturbed tone, as he shifted the load a bit. He would have to circle while climbing with a very heavy load to clear the tall heaven oak. Not to mention the act of getting airborne in the first place, with limited space available.
“Time to see what the royal guard are made of” Tom went, trying to encourage the dragon.
Jarix backed up into the forest, for a run-up, before charging into the clearing at a gallop. Folding out his wings as he cleared the trees. With a powerful kick from his hind legs and a beat of those mighty wings and he was airborne. The second beat came only just in time to keep his feet off the ground as he began to lay into the turn clearly straining to hold it. He was gaining speed though so Tom guessed it was going well.
“You go Jarix you got this” Jackalope cheered, Fengi joining in.
Then Radexi spoke up “I just don’t get why we didn’t cut it into smaller pieces”
They all looked at each other for a second. “That might not have been a bad idea” Zarko finally admitted.
“You're doing great!” Jackalope continued shouting, enthusiasm slightly dampened.
Jarix was steady in the turn now and climbing slowly as he went around and around. “Looks like we're good,” Zarko added, still sounding a bit uncertain.
“I say we join him, get your stuff. Fen mind getting Tom airborne, or do you want the first leg?” Jackalope questioned.
“I got him, don't want you to miss out on his company,” Fengi replied in a teasing tone. ‘What was that supposed to mean?’ Tom thought. As he looked to Jackalope she did look a bit uncomfortable before taking off climbing up ready to have Tom loaded on.
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ko-fi For having a pretty picture commissioned.
Sapphire
First Previous Next
So Chapter 69 Nice. Once again sorry for the cliffhanger but hey, you know the deal by now ;)
As per usual I will be prowling the comment section, so do please let me know what you thought down there, both of the chapter and the story. I also welcome criticism and ideas as always. Some of you might be surprised at the influence you have had on the story thus far ;)

OUR wedding?

I was kicked out of home at 17- here’s three things I wish I knew first:

So for reasons I won’t go into, I was kicked out of home at 17 and absolutely could not go back; this post is a bit long but I hope it helps someone. So, without further ado, here are the three life skills I wish I’d learned before that happened.

How to manage money:
This one is important and it can be the difference between you eating and not eating. If you find yourself on your own without a plan, an unexpected bill can really mess you up. I was hit by one not long after my 18th birthday when my car blew up and I basically didn’t have food for four days. Don’t be me, learn from my mistakes.
This is the system I came up with after that and it hasn’t failed me since:

Write down all your bills (other than rent) such as phone, internet, electricity, car insurance etc. These will all be billed at different intervals so break them down into weeks.

E.g. if your internet is $40 per month, that’s roughly $10 per week.

Once all of your bills are in weeks, add them up to figure out how much money you need to put aside per week to pay them. If you are paid weekly, great! Put that amount aside in a bank account called _BILLS_ as soon as you get paid. If you are paid fortnightly, double it and do the same thing. It’s not rocket science, but it works.

Rent! No one wants to be homeless, so this is pretty damn important. Honestly, I should move it to #1 but I’m lazy.

Same as BILLS, put this aside in a bank account called RENT as soon as you are paid. If you are paid weekly, put one week’s worth aside. If you are paid fortnightly, put two weeks worth aside. You get the picture.
Note: there is an added bonus to doing it like this. If your landlord ever tries to say you missed a payment, you have all of your dated transactions in one easily searchable account. One of my landlords once lost a week of my rent and tried to bill me for it a second time. With good records you can tell them to ~~go fuck themselves~~ take a hike.
For both RENT and BILLS use automatic transfers or direct debits where possible. They make life easier, save time, and you’ll never miss a payment.
Money Part 2: Electric Boogaloo
Now that you’ve done that, you have an idea of what’s left over after you get paid. We aren’t done yet though. You don’t have a savings account or an “oh fuck” account. Let’s fix that.

Oh, fuck: your crazy housemate pissed in the fridge, slashed your tyres, and what’s worse, drank your milk without replacing it. Jokes on them though, you pissed in the milk first. Still, what an asshole.

However it happens, sometimes shit just goes wrong. That’s when you need an Oh, Fuck^TM account.
Look at any weekly expenses you have left, these will most likely be groceries and petrol/gas plus a few other random things. Total those up and use them as a baseline to give yourself a weekly “wage”. Anything above this, put into your Oh Fuck account until you have enough to last a couple of months if shit really hits the fan.
Now that you’ve done that, never touch this account unless you really bloody well have to. Have it with a different bank if necessary, and definitely do not have a card linked to it. This is your lifeline, don’t waste it on a bloody sofa (or a clean one, for that matter).

You thought we were done? Haha, nah fam. Being an adult is long and tedious. Next up is SAVINGS. Once you have gotten your Oh Fuck account to an acceptable level start putting most of your excess here instead. This is the account you will use for new shoes & clothes (you fucking Diva) or luxuries like entertainment and other non essential items.

It’s okay to spend from this account where necessary, but for any bigger purchases wait a week or so and see if you still want it. People have shit judgement when they impulse buy, and statistically you and I are no different. Yay?

General Account: this is the account you get paid into, and the account you weep over as you transfer away bills, rent, savings, and Oh Fuck money. The only money you want in here is your weekly wage (mentioned above). If you don’t get paid weekly and tend to eat into next week’s wage, consider keeping next week’s wage in your savings account until the new week. Anything left over at the end of the pay cycle should be moved to Savings or Oh Fuck depending on what you’re trying to build up.
Bonus: this isn’t a big one, but I like it. Every time you want to order takeaway, cook instead and earmark the money you would have spent as guilt free you money. It adds up surprisingly quickly and you can use it to buy things that you’ll enjoy more in the long term.

How to cook (properly):
This one should be obvious, but eating out is really expensive long term. If your parents are any good at cooking, ask them to teach you before you move out. The earlier the better, trust me. I was half decent, but I wish I’d learned a lot more.
If they aren’t, the internet is an amazing resource. I recommend buying one GOOD knife rather than a set of knives and some stainless steel pots. Treat them well and they will last you forever. Non stick are convenient, but you can say goodbye if a metal utensil even looks at them funny. Hot oil in a hot stainless steel pan = non stick anyway.
General cooking tips:-Onions and garlic are you friends, they are cheap but make things taste less poor.

Frozen vegetables are just as nutritious as fresh ones and don’t turn into a pile of slush at the back of your fridge if you forget about them.
Fuck instant noodles, they aren’t as cheap as you think they are. Memes aside, they aren’t worth it.
Rice is cheap in 5kg sacks and lasts you ages. Use two cups of water for every one cup of rice. Bring it to the boil, then turn the stove off and forget about it for 20 minutes with a lid on. Bam, perfect fucking rice every fucking time.
Eggs are a godsend. Cheap, filling, and really damn good for you. Eat when possible.
Canned beans are also a godsend. Cheap as hell, and you can add them to things like curries or pasta sauce to add protean and bulk them out.
Spices are literally the spice of life. Get a whole bunch and never look back.
You can buy big cheap bottles of pasta sauce for less than $2 and make them nice by frying some onion and garlic first and cooking some veggies and beans in them for a while.
Make big meals and freeze the extras if you have space. It really helps on the days you’re exhausted by life.

No one cares about you (and that’s a good thing)
Hear me out here. I was so self conscious when I first moved out of home that I was terrified of looking like an idiot. I never had a dad so I put off buying fucking shaving cream and a razor in case I got the “wrong(?)” ones and the clerk thought I was stupid or something. Speaking to my female friends, they detailed similar stories about buying feminine hygiene essentials. Plot twist: outside of a few friends and family members no one gives a shit about you. The Clerk will forget you exist after about five minutes, and if your friends give you crap you can just get better friends.
I know this one is easier said than done, but try and keep things in perspective. What’s the worst that could happen? Usually it’s actually nothing. They don’t care if you buy shaving cream or pads, and if someone thinks you look weird crawling around for a good photo, fuck em. Your photos are probably better than theirs anyway.

So uh, yeah, that’s it. Those are the three things I wish I’d known before getting kicked out of home: no one cares about you, cooking is good (and might even land you a girlfriend/boyfriend), and managing money is important. Who’da thunk it.

Edits:
I'm really glad this seems to be reaching the people who need it, or will need it. I just came back to 300+ comments so do forgive me for answering some common questions here:

Where are you from?

Here I was thinking that all the swearing would have given me away. Maybe I should have said brah or cunt, but I tend to avoid the latter since it is an absolute cunt of a word. Anyway, If you ask that I'll have to hand you a Vegemite sandwich. Don't tempt me, its a national sport for us.

Are you doing better now?

Yes, thanks for asking! I completed my university studies mid this year whereupon I graduated into a global pandemic. Or didn't, since we weren't allowed to have graduations... Still, I'm proud of myself.

How will cooking get me a girlfriend/boyfriend?

Worked for me. I had a housemate going through hard times so I always "accidentally" cooked extra so she could have some. She knew I was full of it of course, and she still does. Worst comes to worst, you can have a nice meal to cry alone over ~~just like old times~~. Basically, no warranties, guarantees or batteries included with this one.

Can I share this?

By all means, I wrote this to help people so feel free to spread my profanity far and wide.

The 4-barriers to self-awareness in leadership (or why founders struggle to grow into leaders)

Hey all. After 15 years as a VC backed startup CEO, and going on two as an executive coach to startup CEOs, I’m continuously struck by two things:

The degree to which a leader’s self-awareness dictates her rate of improvement and, ultimately, the success of her company (reams of research on this as well, turns out)
How much harder developing self-awareness is for leaders than “regular folk”

In my experience there are four main barriers that get in our way. In case it’s helpful to someone’s journey, I’ve set them out below:

The paradox of self-awareness in leadership

For companies to succeed, they need self-aware leaders. But the deck is stacked against leaders developing that self-awareness.
That’s what Daniel Goleman found, in his book “The New Leaders.” Daniel quoted research into what distinguished the leadership of a number of highly-successful US healthcare companies from the least successful ones (based on return on equity, share price over a 10-year period). He found that self-delusion was associated with poor performance, and self-awareness with company success:
“Tellingly, the CEOs from the poorest performing companies gave themselves the highest ratings on seven of the ten leadership abilities. But the pattern reversed when it came to how their subordinates rated them: they gave these CEOs low ratings on the very same abilities. On the other hand, subordinates saw the CEOs of the best performing companies as demonstrating all ten of these leadership abilities most often.”
In separate research, Goleman also found that the more senior the managers, the more likely they were to inflate their own ratings, saying: “Those at the highest levels had the least accurate view of how they acted with others.”
Let’s recap that research, because it’s important.

Self-awareness (measured by the alignment between how you see yourself and how others see you) is critical to your success in leadership. It’s the dashboard by which you educatedly adapt your leadership to get the most out of your people, and drive successful outcomes in a changing marketplace.
But the more senior you are, the more difficult self-awareness becomes.

For entrepreneurs, particularly those in the CEO seat, success depends on overcoming these four obstacles to self-awareness:

You don’t look
You don’t ask
You don’t listen
You don’t interpret

“We cannot change what we are not aware of. And what we are aware of, we cannot help but change.” — Sheryl Sandberg

Obstacle One >> You don’t look

Running a company is all-encompassing. Many leaders wake up every day at 100mph, consumed by marketing, sales and product-market fit, never considering the impact of their personality or leadership style on the results they get. They don’t know that those things are malleable, so they don’t bother looking at them. Their leadership style is behind the “subject/object wall,” meaning it’s just “who they are.”
These are what is called “unconscious leaders.”
“About 80-85% of leaders are in the realm of Unconscious leadership, which is the world of managing and directing. The English verb “manage” literally comes from the Italian “maneggiare” (to handle, especially tools or a horse). So, these are your managers, who treat their employees as resources (literally, horses) to be directed and optimized.”
To illustrate the difference:
— Conscious leadership: my tendency to argue a point to the death comes from my ego’s need to feel like the smartest guy in the room, and is something that, when I catch it in time, I can simply choose to not indulge (and therefore to not suffer the interpersonal consequences of an argument).
— Unconscious leadership: it’s just my personality, and my employees need to adapt.
The vast majority of leaders fail because it doesn’t occur to them to look critically at their leadership style. They only see the work to do “out there,” and barrel through it ever more urgently, regardless of results or feedback.

Obstacle Two >> You don’t ask

Of the leaders who are conscious (meaning for our purposes today that they are looking actively at their leadership style, and aware that they can adapt it to change their results), many still sub-optimize their results because they don’t ask for feedback. Why? Mostly because they’re scared of the answer.
The good ol’ willful-ignorance approach.
From the same study:
“Psychologists have a lot of theories about why people are so sensitive to hearing about their own imperfections. One is that they associate feedback with the critical comments received in their younger years from parents and teachers. Whatever the cause of our discomfort, most of us have to train ourselves to seek feedback and listen carefully when we hear it. Absent that training, the very threat of critical feedback often leads us to practice destructive, maladaptive behaviors that negatively affect not only our work but the overall health of our organizations.”
The easiest way to get great feedback
Asking for feedback doesn’t have to mean a commissioned 360-degree review. It can be as simple as asking a handful of people who know you well (I suggest about eight people, both professional and personal) to give you honest feedback on how you show up in the world.
The following simple questions are a great way to get started (you can also add your own):
—In what ways do you think I am already effective?
—In what ways do you think I am less effective?
—What could I do to improve my relationship with you?
—What would be the one piece of advice you would give me about how to improve my effectiveness?
—What do my actions say about my values? What drives me?
I’ve yet to meet a leader who wasn’t impacted by the results.

Obstacle Three >> You don’t listen

“Sometimes when you get an idea in your head, it’s impossible to talk to you about anything else. You don’t listen even when you’re wrong.”
This was a real piece of feedback I was given, and I still remember the sensation that went with it. A jolt of fear, followed by rage, which finally settled into righteous indignation. The giver was misguided. He didn’t get it.
Needless to say, the conversation following wasn’t exactly productive, and I missed a chance to improve my effectiveness by evolving my leadership style. What also happened, but might not be as obvious, is that the giver never gave me the gift of his feedback again.
A leader’s reaction to feedback is the prime variable in whether or not they continue to receive feedback. Listen, and people will keep helping you grow. Don’t, and you’ll soon live in a bubble of people who tell you what they think you want to hear.
Early on in my career as a CEO (although after the incident above), I was fortunate to hire a Senior VP with decades of experience working in the C-suite. He pointed out to me how difficult it already was for people around me to give me constructive criticism, and the risk they took in doing so given my control over their paychecks. Most importantly, he showed me the impact my reaction had on their willingness to do so. Thanks to his wonderful risk (itself a pretty meta example of the concept), I saw how natural, how incredibly easy it would be for me to get isolated in my position, and with his help started to do the hard work of making it easy to tell me the bad news.
Said simply, self-aware leaders go out of their way to make it easy, and non-threatening, to give it to them straight. But make no mistake about it, this requires work.

Obstacle Four >> You don’t interpret

Even if you embrace the feedback you’re getting from the people around you as the gift it is, it’s also important to consider context. There are two main contextual considerations to keep in mind:
1. The distorting effect of your role/title
A client I worked with, the foundeCEO of a tech company, told me a story once that perfectly illustrated the invisible bubble in which CEOs live. After grabbing his food at the company holiday party, he approached the long, bench table at which his team sat. As he began to make his way to sit in one of the few gaps available on the far end of the table, he cracked a joke without thinking about it, saying, “hey, can you all just scootch down a bit?” Haha.
You can guess what happened. About 30 teammates, all at once, dutifully moved their trays of food down the table, sitting close to one another to open up a seat at the end of the table. With a flippant joke, in five seconds all his employees were cramped and he had his choice of the head of either row, the conversation carrying on without missing a beat. My client, himself quite self-aware, was shocked.
And when he told me this story, I started to question the dozens of times that my team had complimented me on my wardrobe.
We don’t like to admit it, (we all prefer to think that we are simply popular and have good fashion sense), but the reality is that most people go out of their way to please their boss. As a leader it’s important to remember this (it’s difficult if not impossible to change), so you can properly interpret any feedback you get. If you think you’re the exception to this, think again. The question is not whether you live in a bubble, but whether you’re aware of the bubble, and compensating for it in your interpretation.
This is why having a channel for anonymous feedback, although scary, is also so powerful.
2. Your own inner wisdom
After walking through the key challenges to developing self-awareness as a leader, now seems like the right time for an important caveat:
Feedback is not instruction to change.
It’s easy, especially given how much work it takes to solicit objective feedback from the people in your life, to automatically take any negative feedback we receive to heart. But not all feedback is created equal. You have to do your own analysis of that feedback, comparing it to what you believe is true about yourself and what your company needs, in order to develop a solid goal & plan for growth.
Your own leadership journey, like your mission and company values, is on the very short list of things you can’t fully delegate to your team.
—
Self-awareness, the alignment between how you see yourself and how others see you, is the raw material by which top leaders learn how to adapt themselves to the goals they want to achieve. It’s incredibly difficult to develop self-awareness as a leader, and even more difficult to maintain it through the inevitable changes implicit in growing a company.
But a growing body of research says it’s worth the effort.

[Spoilers All] Does anyone else ever feel guilty about not romancing characters?

Cinemassacre Producer, Justin Silverman... AMA

I wanted to clear the air a little bit, especially with Mike leaving the channel he created.

First off, this is the real Justin. I know there's been a lot of fake Screenwave people on here over the years, but... I think you'll tell from my post that it's me. It's going to be too inside-baseball to be faked. Plus, mod GreatBowser confirmed it in Twitter DM.

I also wanted to do an AMA for a while, was going to do one on Facebook in that Assposting group... but they started contacting family members on my Facebook profile and stuff. So... I left all Cinemassacre fan groups I was in and locked my profile down. I feel that this subreddit is probably the best place for the AMA... since you guys clearly care about the channel a lot and wouldn't hold back any punches. I was on here a few years ago. But, I jumped ship pretty quickly and didn't really engage after that, or even lurk. I would get sent threads from time to time. Yet, over the years I noticed the Truth went from heavy trolling and hyperbole, to more shitposting and constructive criticism. That's something I can get behind. Plus, you guys aren't going away... and Screenwave isn't going away. So, I wanted to meet in the middle.

I wanted to step out in front of a lot of your questions. Answer them for you. I am going to use the Megathread and newer top posts to pull questions from. (But, feel free to ask stuff below. I'll only be monitoring this thread the next week or so, if that's alright.)

Lastly, I do not speak for James, Mike, Ryan, Screenwave Media, or the other guys... it's just how I see things, or what I know personally.

Who owns Cinemassacre now? Screenwave Media?
James owns it. I don't know the specifics after that or with the AVGN movie, but I know Screenwave Media owns 0% of any of it. We only have a stake in the AVGN games we produce. Yes, we take a percentage of monthly revenue, like we do other partners on the network... but we don't have any control of the Cinemassacre company... OR have any creative control. James can do whatever he wants with both. He decides to work with us, and we like working for him.

So, do the Screenwave guys work for Cinemassacre or what?
"The Slobs," as we are called (thanks for that) don't have any creative control or financial stake, as said before. We are just employees of Screenwave Media. Hell, Cinemassacre isn't even my full time thing here. I do a lot of producing of our games and social media content, plus direction for the company kinda stuff. Tony and Kieran are the only full-time employees at Screenwave working for Cinemassacre... and that is mostly writing, filming, and editing.

Why wasn't there a better way to introduce "The Slobs"?
That's the last time I'll call us the slobs, haha. Honestly, we probably should've introduced ourselves better. Mind you, we were working on the channel for a while at that point... and, when you're James or whatever, you're already really acquainted with us... so, when Tony slips into that Halloween 6 review or we start doing Rental Reviews, it doesn't really come to your mind to roll out the red carpet and send out flyers to everyone, because you assume people follow his socials where we're mentioned or at conventions or whatever... you just kinda do it... which, I don't think people would have cared too much about... if it wasn't for the departure of Kyle and Bootsy still stinging.

What about Kyle and Bootsy then???
I started working for Screenwave in 2015... and on Cinemassacre in late 2017... so, I wasn't really there for the behind the scenes of Kyle and Bootsy. I met the guys a bunch beforehand though. I like the guys now too. You also know I did the stupid AVGN Roast in 2013... and I think I gave them that cake/award thing at TooManyGames the year before too... so, I knew Kyle and Bootsy well enough and we'd talk at after parties and whatever. Only saying that because I just want to put it out there that I don't harbor any animosity for them. None of us do. I'd like to work with them in the future if it's ever possible. Oh, and if you watch the Silvermania 2016 MAGfest video you'll see Bootsy. Really surprised none of you saw that yet... anyway... yeah, no idea why there was a falling out 100%. I know Kyle wanted to get more involved with his contracting company... and Mike and Bootsy had a falling out. Friends sometimes do, especially when they start working together and being in business together. All I know is what Mike posted publicly a while ago. Be cool to see them again one day regardless.

Why did Mike leave?
I think he was pretty clear about it in his reddit post. We were planning 2021 and I guess Mike was feeling disconnected for a while... and honestly, loves to stream on Twitch. So, it just made sense for him to bounce. All the old stuff he made is still there, and I guess there's some burnout mixed with enjoying his new thing. I don't blame him. Yes, James barely talked about it in the update video... but, Mike specifically didn't want a huge send off or too much said about it. So, James said as much as Mike wanted him too. That simple.

What about all the Mike drama over the years?
Same with the Kyle/Bootsy stuff. I wasn't around for it. I know as much as you know, maybe less. I think Mike has apologized for all of it... so, I am going to leave it there. I have no problems with Mike, he's always been good to me. Hoping to stream with him eventually from time to time or just hang out.

Why doesn't James write the AVGN episodes anymore?
Well, he does... and he doesn't. It's collaborative. Sometimes we play all the games together, sometimes just he does. Sometimes we'll come up with an outline for a script and he fills it in, sometimes it's the reverse. Sometimes he comes up with ideas for games, sometimes we do. It's so back and forth that I can't really separate it at this point... I understand they don't feel like stuff from back in the day... but, not much you can do about that. He's older, back in the GameTrailers day he had something to prove. I think the movie burned him out... plus his family life and side projects. It takes its toll, I think we were moving in a good direction but Covid kinda fucked stuff up, for all of us. Our goal is to make 2021 a great Nerd year. We have been working on the plan for a while now with more time to focus on writing, acting, all that. I think 2020 had us flying by the seat of our pants. I was editing stuff 24 hours straight sometime. Sorry if it doesn't seem that way, haha. We put a lot of time and effort into making what we can, but we want to improve and we want the content to improve.

What's with all the brand deals and lack of cursing?
As you know, YouTube is a minefield of demonetization, limited ads, and de-platforming. We're trying our best to make the channel money and keep views up. The brand deals really help, because a lot of our content gets limited ads, especially the older stuff. As you know, our backlog is huge. Cursing in the first minute is an instant limited ads. Which hurt money, sure, BUT it also makes the algorithm push you less. So, if a YKWBS gets limited ads it'll get half the views it would normally get, or less... so, we had to make these changes to stay afloat. Even the AVGN theme gets pinged... that's why a lot of AVGN episodes did worst this year (aside from whatever quality issues you have)... Bad Final Fight Games got limited ads because the Nerd said "blue balls," and that's too sexual. See what I mean? If we get hit, it kills views. So... we do brand deals, we put the theme after a minute, we changed it to BS in the front... if not, views would suffer, and future stuff would be pushed less and less. It's weird. Sure, we could do a Patreon and all that, but views would still suffer. And, we never want to just take your money... if skipping forward in a video is all you have to do, whatever. If you want to support us, merch is the best way to do that. And yes, James gets most of the profit from merch. It's not us running some scam.

Why are the Screenwave guys such SLOBS?? (Oops, used it again.)
I don't want to talk about how Ryan, Kieran, or Tony (from Hack the Movies) feel... but, I know Kieran really took a lot of the stuff here to heart. Especially after the years of fat jokes, caveman jokes, and people pretending to be his dead father. He went off the edge a few times. I think he's in a way better place now, and I think he's really been taking good care of himself. Shit, I lost 80 pounds this year but gained a lot of it back when the world started opening back up... that's the thing about being fat your whole life. It's hard to dig yourself out, it's easy to diet and exercise if you're already thinner. I was fat in like kindergarten, those habits and addictions just continue on with you. Plus, food has always been a comfort for me. Not to go into a sob story, but my Mom died in '99 because of drugs and stuff... and I grew up with 3 sisters across multiple states in a poor family... and, being teased your entire life just goes on and on. Honestly, if you're 20 pounds overweight or 200... it feels the same when you're ridiculed, so, what's the difference, just get bigger, you'll never be small enough to not catch shit. I mean, not to go into my psychology or whatever, sorry... BUT, my goal is to get healthy in 2021... it's a "rebuilding year" for me... that's a sports term. I mean, I doubt it'll affect my personality much... so, if that's your problem, then shit... but, clearly us slobs don't want to be slobs. Even Tony (from hack the movies) and Ryan have been working on themselves too... plus, I always put others before me... from work, to family, to my girlfriend... I'm usually the last stop. Any advice or whatever you guys wanna give, please do. My Twitter DMs are always open.

Coat-tail riding MUCH??
I mean? Not really? Not sure how much fame we can get out of this. It's just our job, and we like helping James and shooting the shit on the internet. Plus, I had two failed YouTube shows before working with Cinemassacre (why the fuck did they hire me??) so, I don't really care about the clout. It's cool when people high-five us at conventions and other content creators give us the nod... but, we're just trying to make videos, build up Screenwave more, and keep James making the content he wants to make. That's it. I mean, hasn't really helped Hack the Movies much (LOL).

What do you think of the AVGN movie?
It's alright. I think it could be better here and there, but it's really hard to make a movie. Anyway, back when it was being planned... I was trying to get James to do it locally, with the Underbelly guys and people I knew into film. Do it cheap. But, I also understand wanting to make a big movie in Hollywood. That's a dream. Anyway, at the end of the day, I hope James gets to make another movie one day. I really liked his horror script, but clearly that's on the backburner if not cancelled... but, my goal is to get something to happen one day for him.

Now I wanted to dive a bit into my past...

Why do you defend Bob and still talk to him to this day?
So, as you might know, Bob (who used to be on my old YouTube show Silvermania) was busted for having child porn several years ago, after we stopped working together anyway. He went to jail for a year and has since been off the grid. I don't talk to him anymore and I completely cut ties. I've talked about the matter before, saying he "did his time" and stuff. Which, I meant like... I don't want to dogpile on a guy whose life is completely ruined... and who already fucked up a ton. I wanted him to get the help he needs and never work with him again. But, as I said before, I haven't talked to him in years and I don't plan to.

Why did you make fun of Total Biscuit's cancer?
I regret everything that happened between Silvermania and TB. The short version, is we were invited on his podcast accidentally. They thought we were another show... my original show Underbelly, I think... which was a really different thing, and we were frustrated our YouTube network at the time (MakeTGS) didn't know the difference. Silvermania was me and my old roommate, who posted on here a few times as you know. They wouldn't let us on together and kept asking questions before the show about Underbelly and stuff that didn't pertain to us, but whatever. Watch it, it even says UnderbellyShow under my face. Things went south really quick... and honestly, I shouldn't have been a dickbag on the call... but, as I said, it was weird from the get-go. The energy was really off between all of us on the call, and I just played into being the bad guy. Anyway, we got kicked off the podcast halfway through and a wave of TB fans started attacking us for months. Now, there were like 5 people with access to the Silvermania YouTube at the time... plus I think mods and stuff. So, I'm not sure who did it. Hell, it could've been me under the influence. I drank way too much back then... anyway, someone made fun of TB's cancer down the road and it's been screen-grabbed and passed around. I mean, there's not too much context to it... aside from just being a shitty thing to say because we felt burned by the guy and his fans. Anyway, after that I met with him at a convention and we put it past us. He never actually saw the insult. I was really upset when I heard he passed, I always liked him and his content. Especially all the PC gaming stuff.

Why did you post "I'm a pedo, watch out" on Twitter?
AH, right. I know that sounds like foreshadowing about the Bob stuff, but it wasn't. Back then, I think it was 2013... I didn't really use Twitter much. We had the SilvermaniaShow handle... which connected directly to our Facebook fan page. So, if we posted on Facebook, it would auto-post to Twitter. Also back then, we would have huge parties at our apartment and stuff, like 50 people would show up once a month... a lot of friends and fans of the show too. Anyway, someone "hacked" our Facebook account... as in, went on the computer that was playing music, typed that in as a joke, and hit send. We immediately deleted it... but, we forgot it auto-posts to Twitter and forgot about it. Anyway, when the show ended... I changed the handle from SilvermaniaShow to JustySilverman, the one I am using now, making it my personal account. But, the wayback machine or whatever, just makes it look like my current profile said he's a pedo. That's the story. Someone was playing a joke, it went to Twitter, and we didn't realize it. I am not a pedo, but sadly, I worked with one for a while... well, kinda, Bob was kinda a guest on the show more than a member.

Why did you make such shitty/troll content anyway back then?
Man, it's been a real rollercoaster... if I knew back then what I know now... I think Underbelly or Silvermania would have made it... I let too many cooks in the kitchen, let friends have business control or creative whatever... I should've just been a solo act and just made fun shit... I mean, I think we did a lot of good stuff too... like, Underbelly was partnered with ScrewAttack and Normal Boots for a time... we were with the first ever YouTube network... but, all that pivoting fucked the channel up because of release schedules or what they wanted us to make... the production has always been good... Underbelly was the first YouTube channel with every video being in full 1080p back in 2010... but then we deleted every video and reuploaed them because our network needed us to for whatever reason... just a ton of issues... from back-end stuff to it not being fun anymore... to seeing others soar with similar content... it made me bitter. Which led to Silvermania becoming a weapon of trolling. I always skimmed the surface of making YouTube successful for me... hell, we pissed a LOT of content creators off too... I am STILL rebuilding those bridges even with being on Cinemassacre. I was just pissed off at the world and thought I knew better... when, we should've been focused on making fun stuff consistently and less toxic. That simple. Trying to do that now I guess.

Why did you say the N-word?
I really regret this. I mean, even without cancel culture and all that. It was just stupid. The one time was back in 2012, on YouTube, and was part of a skit where I was saying the N-word was actually "Nerd," because of the Big Bang Theory or some point I was making about Nerds being taken advantage of or whatever by Hollywood... it was a really dumb comparison. I even had my black roommate in the video with me to sell the joke... it was dumb, but edgy humor was cool at the time. I have since removed the video and apologized. The other time was just being a drunk-comedian with my friends trying to say the most fucked up stuff possible, same year. Kinda like when Kramer from Seinfeld did that dumb stand-up routine when he said it. But, I guess my ex-roommate decided to record it and post it this year for clout. That said... I am not a racist, I've never said anything remotely racist after the fact, and never from a place of hate. I'm a pretty liberal guy, not that it matters. But, I apologize, clearly won't ever happen again... and hasn't in 8 years.

Why are you dressed as a Klansman next to Nazi and confederate flag?
Whoops! Okay, this is a bad look. I can see this coupled with the N-word thing looking really bad... or being a Jewish guy next to a swastica. Clearly, this was a skit. The flags were from a WW2 and Civil War reenactment troop I knew, someone has to play the bad guys and their gear was really authentic. I don't own racist or facist flags. (Though, I kinda want a Mobile Infantry flag from Starship Troopers.) People share the photo around, but never notice the game collection behind me or the minture Hitler on my shoulder... it was a skit we filmed, but never fully released, and has since been taken down... it was part of our Lost Episodes clip-show. The joke was that I'm the "Racist Video Game Nerd," because everyone else on YouTube already picked all the names to sound more like AVGN. Like the Sad Video Game Nerd or whatever. So, the "RVGN" was going to review a game, then get thwarted by a group of racially diverse characters... so... just a stupid skit... that was never fully finished because we knew it was bad. Plus, the RVGN is the bad guy... he's shown in a negative light.

Okay, I think that'll answer a bunch of questions you may have... so, yeah. AMA.
Oh, and sorry if I blocked you on Twitter or whatever. I'll add you back if you want.

[EDIT]

I will get to EVERYONE'S QUESTIONS, there are just a ton and I like to work and sleep and eat and shit.

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Joke's On You, I'm Into That Shit Know Your Meme

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Soooo... I accidentally started a cult 😬