2019 FIFA Women's World Cup Outright Odds

Hi! A ton of great tennis in this third round. About half the women's matches are here, and I'll edit in the rest in about 20 minutes. Thanks to those of you that have participated in our picking contest AO CONTEST DOT TURTLE DOT COMNo thanks to those of you that are currently beating me though. Please make some errors today thank you <3
Update : All matches are here now
Djokovic Fritz : Novak played one of his trademark strange unexplainable trying-to-lose performances against Tiafoe. He was passive, he made rally ball errors, and he struggled with the heat. He seemed to have minor neck stiffness, and just overall was not at his best. Once the sun went down though, he coasted. This was a good match for Tiafoe but after seeing previous comments after losing to a top player like “I had you bro”, I’m not sure he’ll get the right takeaways here. If we look at the positives first, Tiafoe served great in this. He hit a number of very effective second serves out wide and hit his serves harder than he generally does without a huge variation in % that landed in ze box. He got slice-happy for a good chunk of time, but he hit his backhand in the court and used the angles available to pressure Novak when he had control. Of course, this doesn’t produce points against he best backhand in tennis, but it does against everyone else on tour. If Tiafoe stays committed to keeping the ball on the court, then instead of him tiring out it will be his opponents. The forehand is still a very easy shot to miss low if his footwork isn’t there, but footwork is 75% conditioning and 25% mental focus. The closer he gets to these kinds of results that he wants, the more he will work harder in earlier less interesting clashes to get to the good stuff. The smart child eats their vegetables first so they can get to mom’s fancy chicken. Or mom’s fancy tofu, I see you vegemarians.
The downsides are what made me think Tiafoe had no chance even though he had a chance. In a 3 out of 5 match, there are going to be highs and lows. Djokovic was struggling, was extremely subdued, and looked frustrated. When someone isn’t engaged in the match like that, be like a burglar. Quietly do the work and don’t celebrate. This isn’t what fans want to see, and I also laughed a bit seeing Tiafoe get hyped after winning the second set, but screaming “I love this shit” and immediately nodding like he expected the result all along, is a wild reaction to winning a single set, and slapping your chest and celebrating a single set just kinda shows that you are winning battles while having no real intentions towards the war. The errors came, and despite Novak playing some amazing shots, Tiafoe devolves quickly into shaking his head as if he cannot possibly believe how good his opponents are playing. This obviously goes against his nature. Tiafoe is a happy dude. He loves to play in these big moments, and he believes in himself so when the results come, it’s easy to feel validated. Game management is about emotional as much as physical though, and he kinda released the confetti early in this one. What I do want to see in the future, even though I am not his coach and have no business voicing my opinion, is Tiafoe just get out there and absolutely look to smoke some people. He got to net when he shouldn’t have in this but it was a great move to force Djokovic to speed up his tempo, and Tiafoe’s hands at net are inconsistent but also amazing. He has a higher register than most guys on tour and the decision to press the issue is really just a decision. It’ll come with some bad results but he’s already getting those bad results and it’ll add titles if he makes it.
Fritz lost his second round match against Opelka, so it’s surprising that he’s appearing in this round. Moping, and shaking his head in the “telling the supporters I’m not going to win, and to please stop supporting” fashion, he went down 5-1 in the 4th set tiebreaker. I switched off to another match, and Opelka somehow lost his serve and his ability to keep the ball in the court. The 5th set was a sad affair, and Fritz secured my prediction but you have to feel bad for Opelka who was significantly more likely to pressure Djokovic in this matchup since his serve often means it doesn’t matter who his opponent is. Early Novak troubles usually continue, so I don’t know that he will just be his normal self here. If it were another daytime session, Fritz might win a set. Since it’s at night though, I think we’ll see hints of the best Novak, and playing a 5-setter against a server is a really weird preparation for playing Novak Djokovic. If Fritz serves well and hits his forehand well, he can do well against the Novak that struggled with errors against Tiafoe. I just don’t think it’ll happen though. Djokovic in 3.
Fucsovics Raonic : Fucsovics and Wawrinka played the best match of the 2nd round on the men’s or women’s side. Marton was giving Stan the beats for a good 2.5 sets and basically ended up playing Wawrinka into shape. Stan is one of the best players to watch when he’s in form and the only thing that made it better is how good Fucs’ defense really is. He kept the ball coming back and took his opportunities when they came. Down 8-4 in the tiebreaker, and 9-7, it looked over, but he managed to finally earn a win in a high profile match against a top player. I wasn’t entirely sure about the draw and was crossing my fingers he’d be playing Novak in a day session. No such luck, and Raonic comes into this at peak form.
Raonic struggled in the rally against Moutet early, but opened the game up as it went on and looked borderline dominant. Just a slew of 0-30 openings for Corentin, and against a server this is poison. Raonic has a much better defender to hit past in Marton, and I do give the edge to Marton in rallies. If Raonic throws in a poor service game, that set goes to Fucsovics. If Raonic gets fatigued, he also could be in trouble. The problem here is that Fucsovics played 5 sets of tennis, and even for a top athlete this is going to have some degree of wear and tear on you. There is upset potential here since Raonic will have trouble winning baseline rallies, and Fucsovics will be engaged in a lot of them on his own service games which can wear down an opponent, but Raonic has sort of treated his opponents service games like chances to go for broke and apply pressure, and Fucsovics slice backhand may allow Raonic to come to net a good chunk of the time. I’ll be pulling for Fucs, but I think Raonic will be a lot fresher. Raonic in 4.
Martinez Lajovic : If you want to beat Pedro Martinez, don’t win the first set. He has gone down a set and rolled his opponents in consecutive rounds, and it has been a joy to watch. It’s rare that you find an opponent who never takes a shot off, and that’s Pedro. They’re not all struck for pure winners, but he looks to move his opponent constantly and it’s paying off as few have had the mental focus to hang in there so far. Ruusuvuori looked a bit flat at times after his war with Monfils, but Martinez deserved this win. Big reward for him too as he plays another guy who’s not going to serve him out of the match.
Bublik was businesslike against Bedene, and childlike against Lajovic. Dusan made the game ugly, and Bublik missed shots and complained loudly to his box. I feel like the nonstop whining in other languages is overlooked at times, and I’m definitely guilty of enjoying a rant I don’t understand, but wishing Kyrgios/Murray would shut up/stop crying. Lajovic’s strengths here will be his experience and his durability. He can play for as long as Martinez wants to, and he does have infusions of pace and power that can end long baseline rallies. This is a brand new matchup, and I don’t see a lot to separate these two. Lajovic almost had an easier match at the baseline, but dealt with a much bigger serve that Martinez has so far. Martinez has played more consistent opponents, but they didn’t stay very consistent. The Lajovic of the 2020 ATP Cup can compete with anyone. The Lajovic of the mid-season slumps can lose to anyone. I think Martinez is similarly mercurial, but his bottom level is rarely far off from his top level, and I think he has a small edge here. Martinez in 5.
Mannarino Zverev : Mannarino made the quickest work of Kecmanovic. Despite the 3-0 scoreline, these two traded a lot of very crisp rallies with the ball going just inches over the net over and over. The problem really was that Mannarino was comfortable in them, and Kecmenaovic was working hard trying to produce errors. The errors don’t come when Mannarino is on his game, and he was able to cruise into another contest with Zverev. At the US Open Mannarino seemed like a problem early but faded late. As Zverev warms up it seems like he’s playing a different game than Mannarino, scoring down the middle and able to move easily to any Adrian offerings, while Mannarino slowly begins to only really score from errors.
Mannarino is playing significantly better than he was at the US Open, but it seems like the result could be the same. He has to earn errors from Zverev, and the Zverev serve keeps him in matches even with those errors. He’s getting a bit better as time goes by as well, because really the only thing that improves your game at a certain point is repetitions, and he has a ton of high-level matches under his belt. I think Mannarino steals at least one set, but the match would take a real Zverev implosion. Zverev in 4.
Thiem Kyrgios : Poor Koepfer. I thought he might overperform, but instead he was awarded a nice opportunity to fly to a local challenger next week. Thiem looks sharp and when he looks sharp, he starts to look like he’s going to win the tournament. With how many finals he’s been in and how many wins he has against Novak and Nadal, it’s not unreasonable to say he could win this tournament and no one would be really surprised. Enter Nick “Skinny Wombat” Kyrgios. The grumpy gloomy gus with the haircut you won’t let your 10 year old get even though he saw it in a Bad Bunny video continues to win matches. Humbert played a business-like match and reminds me a great deal of Nadal with how he pressures his opponent but doesn’t really go for outright winners. He had match points in the 4th which hurts a little, but there is plenty of time for him and given Nick’s injury struggles, every time he takes the court motivated is a good thing for fans.
Kyrgios played better in this match than he has in recent history. He’s actually improved every single round in the past two weeks. He’s returning well, he’s making sure his forehands go in the court on defense, and he’s hitting sharp angles with his backhand. If he didn’t have the emotional state of a child who’s been told they have to go to sleep, he wouldn’t be as big of an underdog in this match as he is. Still, he has been able to get frustrated at his box for rushing the court and making him miss shots, and still play tennis. His serve is good enough to get to tiebreakers, and that’s a great place to be against Thiem.
Thiem is likely to return serve better than anyone Kyrgios has faced thus far. He’s likely to respond better to Kyrgios’ offensive offerings, and he’s likely to be able to move Kyrgios behind the baseline. His own serve is less heralded but he can hold serve fairly easily when he needs to. I think that will be the small edge in this matchup. Thiem has levels and has the ability to shift between them consistently. Kyrgios has a top gear which is world class but he doesn’t play it all the time. Thus far in his two week run,he’s been able to come up with second serve aces at break points, forehands when he needs them, and good consistently backhand play. I don’t think he’ll be able to here, but I would be very surprised if the scoreline didn’t reflect that he had the chance to. Thiem in 3-4 tight sets.
Dimitrov Carreño-Busta : This is one of the closer matches you can point to in this third round and there are a number of small edges here. Dimitrov has yet to drop a set and is playing the best tennis he has in years. Last week he looked very sharp against Popyrin and then had a quick letdown against Moutet. With how well he backed up his Cilic performance against Bolt, I somewhat suspect that the Moutet loss was more about the timing to prep for the AO than anything else. PCB is a guy who reminds me of Ferrer. He’s never slated to beat the top talent, but there’s really no way to beat him without a heroic effort. Both Dimitrov and PCB are serving their best this week, which makes this even closer.
Two top athletes playing their best in rallies and serving better than usual. I don’t see a real way for this to not be a war. Dimitrov has their only two hardcourt meetings as wins, and if I had to indicate who has a better chance of winning in straight sets, it’d be him. He has the sharper offense and his slice is something I’m not a fan of, but Pablo does make some errors when he has to get low and generate his own pace on the backhand. I keep waiting for Dimitrov’s regression, but it’s unlikely to come. This is a guy that didn’t live up the expectations for so long I almost start to think he’s not really that good. So here, it’s hard for me to say he suddenly will be. This match is winnable, but Dimitrov would have to really do a lot more than beat rusty Cilic and tired Bolt for me to say “yes now he’ll dispatch one of the hardest defensive tests on tour in a hardcourt major”. PCB in 5, but this is one where Dimitrov “could” win, he just hasn’t in the past.
Shapovovalov Auger-Alliassissassissame : These guys are good. Shapo backed up his clutch win against Sinner by sending Tomic back to the internet, and FAA had a game James Duckworth to deal with and made it look easy. This is a real hmmm matchup, and I’m glad the bookmakers have priced it at around -195 Shapo +165 FAA because this is about right. Shapovalov is 14% airhead. He’s the pretty girl that everyone asks to the prom but then he doesn’t show up because he wandered off to see just what this caterpillar is up to? Roughly 7-11 days later he shows back up with a pet butterfly and wants you to hear his new rap but the words don’t rhyme and there are no words and he ate the butterfly by accident and now he’s sad but when you go to hug him he bounds up and runs off to chase a car. Now that may seem hurtful but please understand that is only 14%. The other 86% is a great tennis player with very good shot tolerance and one of the more repeatable serves on tour. Oh but that 14%. That darned 14% means double faults and flinching at his misses and just generally being a guy who the tour sees as someone who can be outlasted.
FAA on the other hand has the emotional reaction on court of someone who’s just woken up from an operation. He knows he’s there, but he’s not quite sure who he is and as he’s wondering wtf what’s this thing coming at me why am I holding a racquet oh did I win? Nice let’s go get a haircut. I’m a big fan of FAA. I think he’s a future #1 and my favorite thing is that he doesn’t temper his offense to the situation. When he has the open court he hits the ball with depth that isn’t necessary, but is if you want to play at the highest level. His serve is excellent when it’s on, and his backhand has nice heights. Criticisms stay on the backhand. It looks a bit awkward at times and Shapo works his opponents backhands nonstop. Can FAA hang in rallies long enough to work the points to even? I don’t suspect that he’ll win the longer rallies, but what we’ve seen so far is that his power has been enough to allow him to dictate offense and win. This is a very good spot for him even though Shap has won most of the previous meetings. FAA is playing his best and is coming off a week and a half of straight set wins. Shapovalov is coming off a bizarre match where just making balls is what was necessary to win. He struggled in a number of service games also, and this could be poison in this next round. Playing an extremely easy opponent and then a very difficult one is not good prep and playing a guy like Duckworth who works hard but can’t win is a great confidence booster. I’m leaning into the upset. FAA in 5.
Karatsev Schwartzman : Diego is going to lose? Aslan Karatsev has a cool name. Aslan Karatsev has a cool game. He beat Gerasimov like he did something, and was predicted to by the books as well. He has a big serve and a ton of power. He’s consistent, and businessy on the court. These are very nice things, but now he faces Diego Schwartzman. Muller in the previous round had difficulty winning single games, and while Karatsev is a huge step up, Diego Schwartzman is a pretty big market. Yet Karatsev is only +230 against him. This is still a nod to Diego of course, but when you look at lines you have to conceptualize the flow of money into the prices. This somewhat short price doesn’t mean you go blindly backing Karatsev, but it’s the sort of thing that makes you go “hmm”. When you find yourself going “hmm” about a line, often the best thing is to skip it, and watch the match. You can get a lot of info about markets and pricing from this, and the general insistence on reading the tea leaves and trying to be right can lead to poor confirmation and unnecessary stress. Sportsbetting is never a multiple choice exam; you don’t have to make a selection if you’re not sure. Diego really only struggles on hardcourt with holding serve. He’s an excellent returner and generally halfway through the match his opponent is already physically fatigued and looking to end rallies quicker. So what will Karatsev’s formula be to win? So far it’s been big serves and big forehands. A whole match of those is necessary to beat Diego, but Karatsev is pretty fresh here since Gerasimov was pretty immobile. I’m not sure if it was injury or fatigue from his match with Paire, but he really wasn’t moving for the ball a lot of the time.
Diego doesn’t have any real reason to be fatigued here, having had fairly easy matchups with Muller and Ymer. I expect Karatsev to perform well and apparently so do the books, but I’m not sure I can say that he’s going to win out loud. I’d be very wary of backing Diego for this one, but Schwartzman in 5.
Rublev Lopez : Mannnnnnn Rublev is good. I can’t say much else. He sees it, he smashes it. I’m sure he watched tennis as a kid and thought “why don’t they smash?” on every shot. He must feel like he’s a kid in possession of some big secret half the time. “Hhehe, they don’t know about smash.” Lopez cheated death in that last round, being down 2 sets quickly and really struggling, he just kinda found a serving rhythm and was able to squeak by. Sonego must be frustrated by that loss, but it’s the story every time Lopez wins. You kinda know what he’s going to do, but you just can’t physically get to the ball in time to stop it. His T serve from the ad side bends as well as Gilles Muller, and he mixes up his volleys at net to really keep his opponent from having good angles to pass him. He’ll need that against Rublev, and I do think he’ll be able to get deep into sets as well as he’s serving. Rublev struggles returning at times, and isn’t the fastest player on tour by any means. Still, we’re talking about a man who knows the secret. The secret of the smash. Rublev in 4.
Ruud Albot : Casper Ruud just kept coming against Tommy Paul, and earned errors. It was a really good comeback, but one that he made by not changing anything at all. He plays so disciplined and he’s so physically strong that really someone can either beat him for an entire match, or can’t beat him at all. Albot benefitted from O’Connell playing one of the worst matches I’ve seen in a while. He was extremely passive, didn’t move his feet well, and made a ton of errors. For a guy who thrives on not making errors (he’s a pusherrrrr), this was a bad loss and since Albot doesn’t exactly hit you off the court, it took a long time. OC had his chances to win every single set, but just couldn’t hit a shot. In his defense though, Albot served really well as he did against RBA and he got to net and didn’t miss much. The flaw in OC’s game seemed to be generating his own power. He reflected everything beautifully against Struff and was just completely flat against Albot. This is a great result and some nice $ for Albot, and although he isn’t a favorite against Ruud because they’re so similar, he isn’t a guaranteed loss.
Where Albot was safe against O’Connell, he’s in trouble against Ruud. Ruud has the power and fitness to drive the ball through the court. He’s a better returner and server than O’Connell, and has a ton more experience. Ruud will know this is a match where he has to outwork Albot from start to finish, and so he won’t be seemingly expecting errors to come as O’Connell kinda was. Really a nightmarish performance from OC and he still had a chance to steal the 2nd and 3rd sets. I love Albot and he’s serving great, but I think it ends here. Ruud in 4.
Harris McDonald : When you think third round of a major, you think Harris and McDonald. Harris really never deviated from the plan against Popyrin. He keeps the ball on the court, and applies gradual pressure with his forehand. It’s all about outlasting his opponent, and he did that here. On the other side of the fence, Mackie McDonald beat Coric summarily, and benefitted greatly from Coric missing just about every offensive ball he went for. It was a depressing loss for Coric, who seems to have settled on wearing size boy’s small clothing, and although he snuck back the 3rd set, McDonald did not hesitate to snag him in the 4th. I would say that the McDonald that almost beat Dimitrov and had those great wins when he first got on tour is back. He was slated to beat Gasquet last week and did so. He was supposed to beat Cecchinato and did so despite losing the first. Now he’s defeated Coric who played poorly but is still a very tough out as it gets close to the finish line. Mackie is serving well also, and although Harris has outlasted his previous opponents in the rally, Mackie is likely to take the initiative and win rallies rather than be locked into them. It’s weird for the match to be on the weaker players racquet, but McDonald is a good bit more aggressive in the past week and a half, and although Harris’ serve is the biggest weapon on court, the 9 sets of tennis he’s played have to take a toll at some point. McDonald in 4-5.
Krajinovic Medvedev : Oooooo. Kraj struggled a lot against Andujar but never really was in doubt. Medvedev had a similar inevitable but lengthy match with RCB. Bookmakers have made Medvedev a -1500 favorite against Kraj, and well, this shows you that pricing markets is more important than predicting outcomes. Medvedev is one of the favorites to win this tournament, but he has to do the work to get there. Krajinovic won their only previous meeting, and despite his abysmal performances in the past, he’s also turned in some very close battles against the top players. I expect something similar here. He’ll struggle to hold serve because Medvedev is such a good returner, but long rallies and a lot of breaks can be somewhat expected here. This would be a good spot for Medvedev to push the issue a bit, since the next round of Mackie/Harris is a much easier one. Medvedev in 4.
Tsitsipas Ymer : A tale of two cities here. Tsitsipas beat Kokkinakis with a very intelligent yet ignorant performance. It was pretty obvious that Kokkinakis would tire out after the 4th set. His legs were really starting to give out, and all that serving for clutch holds after 6 minute games got to him. If Tsitsipas had been been up against an opponent who was not able to hang for the full 5 sets, it would have been smart to extend rallies and do so. Tsitsipas was in control of this match throughout though, and the passive way he played for a while kinda let this get out of hand. Take nothing away from Kokkinakis’ serving and play; he really did his best and had a chance. Injuries and experience though have kept him a level below Tsitsipas though. Tsitsipas has proven to be able to immediately shank a forehand and lose a tiebreaker anytime the opportunity arises. He began tapping his head in the 5th set after winning rallies. There is nothing intelligent about your opponent getting exhausted, and tapping your head after winning is one of the douchier behaviors on tour. “I’m outsmarting you,” declared the guy who had won significantly more points and games, yet managed to wind up in a 5th set anxiously looking to his box and double-faulting. Anyway, it’s pretty clear and was at the French Open also that despite his troubles with errors, it takes a real high level of ballstriking and physical fitness to beat Tsitsipas in a 3/5 format.
Ymer is a quiet but great story in this. Not expected to beat Hurkacz, but did. Not expected to beat Alcaraz, but did so convincingly. He’s been one of the more promising next-gen players for a while but the results haven’t come, so this is a huge bonus for him to pick up some cash and some points. The more experience he gets, the more he’ll realize how to use his superior athleticism and power to win matches. I think we’re seeing it already, as he’s been driving his backhand and getting into net and creating a lot of havoc. It’s simply a matter at times of being more aggressive for him, as everyone is pretty even from behind the baseline but some players can just overpower an opponent if they take a risk and step into their shots. The downside is you tend to get caught at times if your opponent redirects the ball with angle or depth. The upside is that your opponent is watching you move in and has to adjust their footwork very quickly. This is simple stuff, but Ymer has been executing extremely well this week. So here is a match he shouldn’t really have a chance in. Tsitsipas has a better serve, more experience, a better backhand, and genuinely is one of the top players on tour. He makes errors though, and he plays passively at times. Despite the big 3 having a lock on winning for so long, sports are an equal playing field, and tennis margins are not as large as they appear on paper. Ymer will win a lot of points here, and a lot of games, but how many is a tough question. Tsitsipas was in all of Kokkinakis’ service games, and really only huge serving kept Kokkinakis in that match. The lopsided sets were the real story of the match, and it’ll be tough for Ymer to earn points here. Still, the Coric match and this one and several others are going to have people competing extra hard against Stefanos, and this is what the announers were talking about when they said Sinner should manage his optics a bit better. If the aura around a player is that they bring their A game and don’t make errors or get frustrated, it’s easy for their opponents to be stuck in a “try to earn every point” mentality. This leads to making errors, and trying to play perfect for a whole match. If the aura around a player is that they get frustrated, or make errors, then their opponents stop missing. They look to earn that frustration, and they apply a lot of pressure. This translates to them actually playing their best game, and an error free one. It’s hard to say when and where Tsitsipas will struggle, but as long as he does, matches like this will be tough. Tsitsipas in 4.
Khachanov Berretini : These are some exceptional matches honestly. The WTA has been a cut above the ATP in terms of quality and depth for a few seasons but the ATP is starting to catch up. Khachanov was consistent and crisp against Berankis, and Berretini was just a next level against Machac. Good for Machac to compete the way he did, and he’ll definitely have a future on tour, but right now Berretini really won’t lose to anyone who isn’t at the top level. Khachanov is at that level though. His height makes him an adept returner, and his heavy ball is likely to frustrate Berretini a big since his forehand is better when he’s able to generate his own pace. I think this has the making of a 5 set classic, and Berretini certainly has the better serve, but Khachanov is going to have a decent chance at this. Khachanov in 5.
Fognini De Minaur : With Fognini down 5-1 in the super tiebreak in the 5th set, I decided to go to sleep. I kinda knew Mmoh wasn’t going to do much against Nadal, and Safiullin was fading against Norrie. Fognini decided to punish me for that. He really was in shrug mode, and I felt that Caruso was fighting too hard for every point to lose his advantage. It happened though, AND I DON’T KNOW HOWWWW. So for real, anyone who saw it please advise. I also heard that Fognini exchanged some words with Caruso which I missed also. I regret sleeping and will never do it again.
De Minaur has been getting -1200 price tags and delivering. He really didn’t give Cuevas much, and Cuevas missed a ton of shots. It was evident he didn’t exactly feel he could hang in long rallies here, and it was worth a shot to kinda play offense and see what happened. De Minaur is the perfect opponent to beat Fognini, but it may be tricky. Fogs has beaten PCB and Caruso already in the past week and those are not easy players to hit through. I’m not expecting fatigue to be a factor but I do think that where Caruso surrendered his lead, De Minaur will build on his. Fognini is often all about managing his own image, and I don’t see him having the fight to win this. De Minaur in 4.
Nadal Norrie : Nadal is Rafael Nadal. It is hard to really expect him to ever struggle. Cam Norrie is much improved, and doesn’t really even look like the same person on the court. He’s gained some weight, isn’t cutting his hair, and is winning matches. The matches have been simple so far, and he won’t just disappear here but he will disappear from the draw. Nadal in 3 hard-fought sets.
Barty Alexandrova : Barty is getting me hyped! After a double bagel against Kovinic, she lit it up against Gavrilova in the first set. The second set though was pretty tight at the end, but Barty really looks good for the title. Which makes what I’m going to say now very difficult. This is a very hard match. Alexandrova was playing some great tennis indoors last at the end of last year, and has followed it up here. She’s crushing her backhand, and serving fairly well though they’re not aces. The problem for Barty on tour is always that she falls into playing defensively, and similar to Halep, she thrives on putting a lot of balls back and earning errors. I just feel that she’ll be on the defensive a bit too much in this one, and that Alexandrova doesn’t really play the kind of tennis you can defend against. I’m not going to feel good about saying it, but I think Barty loses here. The lapse against Gavrilova was not something I wanted to see. Alexandrova in 3.
Kontaveit Rogers : Great but standard comeback for Kontaveit against Watson. Rogers on the other hand never really hesitated against Danilovic. For Olga this was a good result but she’ll want to work on her defensive abilities if she wants to get to the next level on tour. The Shelbster has been on a tear this past month, and Kontaveit has been just ok. This is two players with a great deal of power, but one seems to be dragging herself along and the other is improving. Rogers in 3.
Bencic Mertens : Oddly, Belinda Bencic can play Mertens evenly. She’s been terrible, and Kuznetsova almost profited as a result, but Bencic really has the skill and ability to play at the same level as Mertens, which is why her lackluster results are so frustrating. They’re likely to be frustrating here as well, as Mertens quietly makes her way through yet another draw. Mertens in 2.
Muchova Pliskova : Muchova was broken early against Barthel but Mona really isn’t back to her normal self yet. It’ll come, and it’s nice to see her back on tour after some tough injuries. What were they? Idk. But they were tough! Pliskova and Collins had a pretty solid match, with Pliskova losing most of the rallies and Collins failing to really land first serves. That was the difference in the end, Collins simply wasn’t able to hold serve. Muchova is on a roll, and Pliskova has a possibly tougher match on her hands here. Where Collins is very focused on manufacturing her swing and putting the ball in strategy places, Muchova is a natural talent and is happy to rally all day. The power in these two players forehand is going to be really enjoyable to watch. I’m tempted to say that Pliskova’s improved defense is just a matter of focus, and since it’s a major she’ll get through. Muchova has already successfully dealt with Ostapenko’s offense here though, and I think it’ll take a very impressive serving performance from Pliskova to win. Muchova in 3.
Kanepi Vekic : Woooo! Kaia Kanepi has lost 20 lbs I didn’t ever realize she was carrying. She is in incredible shape, and it’s translating to quick wins. Her kick serve bounced over Kenin’s backhand until Kenin just gave up, and it looked like they were just two entirely different levels of tennis player in this one. Kanepi’s offense is legit, and she’ll need it because Vekic comes into this match crushing the ball. She never blinked against Podoroska, and despite Kanepi’s high level Vekic’s offensive offerings were the type where it didn’t really matter who was on the other side of the court. I have to think that even with Vekic’s problems on court the past season that this is her best level, and it’ll continue in this match. She should get at least a set, but Kanepi’s offense isn’t likely to just disappear, so the third set here could be tight. Kanepi in 3.
Brady Juvan : Brady continues to roll. Big fan. Juvan outlasted Sherif’s defense and earned a real hard fought win. For a young player, those wins are huge because they lend belief to your game. I think she’ll play well here against Brady, but Brady is on another level lately. Brady in 2.
Pegula Mladenovic : Pegula made the quickest work of Stosur that probably anyone ever has. She’s a healthy favorite in this contest as well, despite Mladenovic’s great play. The serve will be a major factor here, and if Mladenovic isn’t able to get ahead in rallies this could be a long day. Her play isn’t dictated by emotion though, and she’s able to shrug off losing set and compete. In the end, it’s hard not to think that Pegula is the more complete player, but this is one where I wouldn’t be very comfortable backing either player. Pegula in 3.
Putintseva Svitolina : LET THERE BE RALLIES! Putintseva did extremely well to outlast AVU. Van Uytvank was smoking the ball left and right, and really deserved the win. Her fitness levels have improved, and she should have a very successful indoor season this year. Svitolina and Gauff was a pretty hyped matchup, but Svitolina proved that it’s a “not yet” situation for Gauff on tour still. I lean towards past matchups with these two since their gameplans are pretty similar, and Svitolina has won every single matchup. When rallies go long, her forehand tends to be the biggest weapon, and Putintseva has devolved into just really looping the ball back all day, so this could be her undoing if Svitolina steps into the court. Svitolina has simple, yet consistent offense, which sets her apart from Putsy’s previous victims. Svitolina in 2 long sets.
Hsieh Errani : This is a good one. Hsieh took good advantage of Andreescu’s rust, notching a big name win. Errani played Venus Williams in an odd contest. Venus was down in this match, as Errani’s defending is a bit much for her limited mobility. Venus then fell and twisted her ankle, and was moved to tears, and then continued to play. Down 6-1, 5-0, she just kept going. The game went to duece. Venus could barely walk for much of the second set, and it was kinda hard to watch. The 0-5 duece game became important. Just one more game, thought the announcers. It became obvious that Errani should just let her score. Venus was basically puffing in her serve and hobbling around the court. A strange cling to a match, or an inspiring story of human determination. The crowd got ready to cheer when Venus finally won the game. At this point, Errani hit 3 dropshots in a row, embarassing the injured Williams, and closed out the match. She even dropshotted Venus’ serve. It just felt disrespectful, but it also was really bizarre that Venus kept playing. I think this is likely her final year on tour, and since she’s retiring she wants to play it all out. The reaction to the ankle sprain was more than just frustration. In any event, Venus has been a graceful and quiet champion throughout her career. If this is the end, wow what a story it has been.
Errani actually has won all 3 meetings with Hsieh, and her resurgence in the past year means she is likely to nab this one too. She’s fresh, Hsieh has scar tissue from their previous matchups, and the only thing that’s really in Hsieh’s favor here is that she has played her best tennis this week. I wouldn’t be surprised if that puts her over the finish line, but Errani’s game is well suited to dealing with Hsieh’s defensive offerings, and Hsieh may not have the power to put Errani away. Errani in 3.
​

Have you ever heard the saying “It’s in my blood”? Well, it is. I come from a long line of serial killers, technically my grandfather (Pedro) was a mass murderer. His reign of terror claimed 298 victims somewhere in the Andes, it was near the end of his run he impregnated the prostitute who would give birth to my father after fleeing to America. My father (Felix) was a truck driver but in his spare time he would kidnap and murder women and young girls. During his active years he was given a lot of names, The I-70 killer, the freeway Phantom and the Parkway stalker to name a few. He and my mother were killed by a drunk driver in 1990 and I was turned over to child protective services. Despite the circumstances I had a fairly happy childhood, I was adopted quickly by Oliver and Gail Campbell. They were good people, Oliver was Professor at the local college and Gail was an artist. They gave me a great life, they never harmed me in any way and did their best to keep me safe but no matter how hard they tried they couldn’t protect me from myself.
I suppose by now you’re wondering who I am, well boys and girls that’s my little secret. For now you may call me Dante, there’s a lot to unpack here so I guess I’ll start at the beginning. My first kill well human kill anyway was a kid named Billy McCarthy, he was what you would consider one of the popular kids if there is such a thing in the fifth grade. I guess here is where you would get the stereotypical popular bully routine but no, that’s not how this story goes. I wasn’t picked on or pushed around, hell, for the most part people barely noticed I was around and before you go jumping to conclusions that has nothing to do with it either.
The why probably isn’t as interesting as the how but I’ll tell you anyway, I picked him because I didn’t like his shoes. I know, I know, that’s petty as hell, but for 10 year old me that was enough. I watched him for days, I didn’t have a clue back then I had no idea what I was doing or how I was going to do it I just knew I wanted it done. It was a Friday afternoon, Billy and his friends walked through Stone Park every day but on Fridays he had soccer practice and would be late so he would be by himself. I told my mother I was going to the park about an hour before I knew he would be there. On the way I stopped by old man Hudson’s place and broke into the toolshed behind his house, there wasn’t much to pick from and being so young I chose the only thing I could fit into my pocket a flathead screwdriver. When I got to the park I spent a little too long looking for the perfect spot and by the time I found one it was too late. I spotted Billy already on the far end of the park, I’d missed my chance. I know that’s a little anticlimactic but it turned out to be for the best, that night I was up late watching an old movie I can’t recall the name of it but in it there was a man who poisoned his wife by crushing up pills and mixing it into her food. This gave me an idea, now being 10 I didn’t have access to pills and wouldn’t have known what to use even if I did. What I did have was my father’s workshop in the garage, there were lots of chemicals I couldn’t begin to tell you what half of them were but there were quite a few that had warnings on them. I poured a little from each one into a water bottle and saved it till I went back to school.
That Monday while we were in gym I asked to use the restroom, while I was gone I went to Billy’s locker and pulled his thermos out of his backpack. I poured out about a cup or so of the sweet smelling juice out then replaced it with the cocktail I’d mixed up, when I was done I sniffed it just to see if I could detect it and much to my surprise there was only a slight difference. Later that day when we went to lunch I sat at my usual table and pretended not to know what was about to happen, after about 15 minutes people started screaming. There was a sudden panic and the cafeteria exploded into chaos, Billy was violently seizing on the floor spewing bloody foam from his mouth as teaches rushed to his aid. He died later that night in the hospital, it was all over the news when they found he’d been poisoned everyone was looking for someone to blame. There were all sorts of rumors on who it could have been and kids being kids made up stories that grew into urban legends. The case went unsolved, but I was hooked I spent the rest of that school year riding the high till the buzz started to fade away and by the start of the next year no one was talking about it anymore.
I tried to go without it, I really did, but every day I walked the halls and didn’t feel the fear in the air, I felt sick. I wanted it back, I needed to feel that power again but if there was one thing I’d learned, it was to not rush the process. If one death fed me for a year two would get me to the 8th grade, looking back I have to laugh at my reasoning it was all so silly now that I reflect on those moments. Nevertheless I spent my first semester picking out targets luckily for me there was no shortage of people I didn’t like but one in particular “Coach Philips” gave me the best reason of all.
Mr. Philips was the head coach of the football team, he was a large muscular man with a head full of grey hair. Everyone loved Coach Philips, when parents and staff were around he put on an act that made them believe he was a genuine good guy. But when it was just him and the team, he was a brutal dictator with a foul mouth and a quick temper. I’d heard the stories but because I wasn’t on the team I’d never seen it for myself, one afternoon I had to stay after school for detention I wasn’t a trouble maker or anything like that I just got caught talking to my friend Caleb and the teacher punished me for it. When detention was finally over I was walking through the building near the gym and stopped to tie my shoe, while I was kneeling down I started hearing someone arguing and got a little nosey. I crept into the locker room following the voices till I got to this area everyone called “The Cage” it was where the football teams lockers were and no one besides them was allowed inside.
Once I passed the cage I came to the hall that leads to the Coaches office, that’s where the yelling was coming from. As quietly as I could I crept down the hall and got as close as possible without being seen, from where I was I could see a part of his office through the window but I couldn’t see everything. The coach barked out “Are you fucking stupid Denton?! I told you to get your shit together or there would be consequences!” I caught a glimpse of one of the older kids standing near the door as coach stormed over and grabbed him by the arm pulling him in the office before closing the door. Now all I could see was the Coaches back and hear him yelling but only for a moment before the sound of him slapping whoever that Denton kid was. There was a crash from the kid slamming into the desk then a struggle that only lasted for a few seconds, the hall went quiet I waited for a moment before I started to get out of there then I heard muffled screams and whimpering. I had to know what was happening, I slowly crept around the corner and made my way over to the window, when I peeped inside I nearly threw up. Coach had that boy bent over his desk violating him in the worst way imaginable, I never saw the kids face I turned tail and got out of there as fast as possible. I ran all the way home, I thought about telling my parents or maybe the police but something stopped me, I knew in that moment it had to be me, it was up to me to stop this. I don’t want you to get the wrong idea I didn’t want to stop him out of some need to be the hero. I wanted to stop him because he was on my turf and even then I didn’t like sharing. It would take me a while to come up with a plan for the coach but in the meantime I had my sights set on one Eliza Stuart, she was a grade above me I couldn’t really tell you why I sniffed her out. She wasn’t popular or even a standout student for all intents and purposes she was just another face in the crowd but for some reason that made her perfect.
Finding her pattern wasn’t easy, I only really saw her once or twice a day during school so there was no way I could get to her bag. I needed another approach, I watched her for days, eventually I found out she rode the bus and what side of town she lived on but none of that was any help. I was getting close to giving up on her, then on a Tuesday afternoon there was a fire. Faulty wiring lit the insulation inside the walls and before anyone knew what was going on a large section of the building was on fire. The alarms blared while the halls filled with smoke and all that organized fire drill shit flew straight out the window. Students and teachers alike flooded into the halls headed for the exits and in that chaos I spotted her, she was standing near the janitor’s closet talking with another girl. By the time I got close the other girl was walking away, keeping my back to Eliza I moved with the crowd till I was standing directly in front of her then pretended to get thrown off balance stumbling into her causing her to fall landing just inside the doorway. Without looking back I slammed the door shut and locked it still facing the surging crowd, no one noticed. I joined the crowd and filed out to the courtyard where we were all gathered watching the school burn, I stared at that door till they moved us away and she never came out. Her body was discovered later that day and once again that feeling of power surged through me but as good as it felt it wasn’t enough, I needed more.
No one panicked, there was no fear just sadness it felt like a hollow victory. They wrote it off as a tragic accident so there was no muttering or wondering, no fantastic stories or boogie-men bumping off the townsfolk it was utterly disappointing. The rest of that year was a wash, but the next year when things got back to normal I’d already made up my mind, “Coach” was first on the list. I’d hit a little growth spurt and put on weight so I tried out for the team and made it. I hated every second of it, there were some benefits like discipline, strength, stamina and speed but seeing his face knowing what he was made me sick.
We had lost two of our last three games and Coach was not happy, I knew sooner or later he would start taking it out on the players and I was right. The Monday after our last loss he started having one on one player meetings in his office, I can’t say he did what he did to all the players. I don’t know that as a fact, but I do know there were a couple I’d seen him being tough on and I’m almost certain they were victims. I made sure I skipped my meeting and dodged him all day till after school, over the summer I’d found a knife in an old trunk of my fathers. It wasn’t that big but it was heavy and sharp I made sure of that, there’s an unmarked pet grave filled with fur to prove it. In any case once I was sure no one was around I went to Coach Philips office and knocked on the door, his office smelled like a combination of foot fungus spray and Old spice cologne. He grimaced at me when he opened the door, “Well it’s about god damn time you showed up, do you think I have all day to wait on your sorry ass? Get in here and close my door.” My heart was pounding so hard I could barely hear him scolding me for wasting his time, he slammed his ham sized fist on the desk and jolted towards me asking if I was listening. (I wasn’t) The second he grabbed my shirt I pulled my blade and plunged it into his neck spraying my face with blood. Coach’s eyes went wide, he gasped and gurgled releasing his grip thrashing back away from me swinging wildly. Grasping at the gushing hole in his throat he staggered back and stumbled over a chair then crashed to the ground wheezing, I hadn’t realized the knife was still in my hand till he started reaching for me. I swung that blade as hard as I could at his outreaching hand slicing off one of his fingers but he kept coming. Slipping in his own blood he crawled towards me, I maneuvered around in his office to stay out of reach but he was a big man, I couldn’t dodge forever. Getting up off the floor and grabbing me by the throat he snatched me off my feet he hoisted me into the air, I struggled against his grip thinking I was going to die till I jabbed that knife into his eye and felt the blade scrape bone. He let out a groan and dropped me then staggered back over to his desk mumbling something I couldn’t make out before taking a seat in his chair. Tilting his head back and resting his hands on his knees he let out one last gurgling breath and went still. Time stopped, it felt like electricity was running through my veins, instinct took over and the next thing I know I’m pulling the knife free from Coach’s eye socket. Everything seemed out of step like the frames of reality were lagging by a second causing the world around me to have a distorted glare. I moved through the hall quickly to the locker room and got in the shower clothes and all, I stood there watching the hot water washing away the blood when I was done I changed into my gym clothes and stole a pair of shoes out of the cage. Once I was all cleaned up I put my clothes in a trash bag then took towels and cleaned the hallway and went home.
I ate dinner, played video games and watched television till it was time for bed and I slept like a baby. The next morning when I got to school police were everywhere, the crowd was buzzing. The word was out, everyone was talking about it I could feel the energy vibrating through everyone around me it was intoxicating. I was too young to understand what I was feeling, my mind couldn’t process the overpowering emotions that were pulsing through me so I did the only thing I could think of to calm myself down, I hummed Old McDonald under my breath and for some reason it worked. I made it through the day listening to all the different versions of what everyone thought happened and managed not to burst out laughing. As the weeks went by and no one was being arrested for the murder the legend grew. Rumors started to go around about some shady drifter that wandered into town and was hiding, waiting to pick us off one by one, it was hilarious. I even heard it was the mob and Coach Philips was in witness protection or some nonsense but the best one and my personal favorite was one of the school staff was a killer. It created this weird vibe that had all of the student’s edge, I loved every second of it.
By Christmas break the rumors had become full on ghost stories but the buzz was calming down it was time for more. Since I wouldn’t be back in school for a week I started looking around the neighborhood for anyone that caught my eye but for the first few days there was nothing. For time’s sake I’ll gloss over the next couple of years, mainly because I didn’t kill anyone else till high-school, well there was a homeless guy but I don’t count that one because it was an accident.
By the time I was in high-school I’d become what you would call “The quiet kid” but it was by design. I’d come up with a plan, I wanted to see if I could control someone else and get them to do my dirty work without them knowing it. First I had to pick my subjects, they weren’t hard to find. The first was a boy named Dennis, he was lanky and tall with pale skin and bright red hair. In a way you could say he made himself stick out but no one deserves to be pushed around for being different. Dennis had a best friend that he hung out with named Chris, they dressed alike and listened to the same music so naturally the two became targets together. Freshman year for them was hell, they were chased home, beaten up and constantly the subject of random rumors. I watched them long enough to learn some of their likes and dislikes, and one thing they both had in common was some band called “L7”. It took me a month to get a concert shirt but the day I wore it to school I met Chris, he was blown away by the shirt. “Holy shit, how’d you get that?” his eyes were so wide I thought they might pop out of his head. “You have to let me buy that off you. I’ll give you 50 bucks for it right now.” I made up some story about getting it from one of the band members and it wasn’t for sale but from that day on we started to become friends. It wasn’t long before he introduced me to Dennis and from there we hung out every day.
One afternoon we were supposed to meet up at this little hideout they had been using for years. It wasn’t much to look at, it was a clearing deep in the woods where they would get high and shoot their fathers guns when they could sneak them out of the house. I got there early that day so I had to wait for them, when they made it they were both clearly hurt. Dennis had a swollen eye and a busted lip, Chris had a bloody nose and his shirt was torn. They ranted and raved about being tired of it all and how they were going to take off, they wanted to drop out and run away. I convinced them that was the wrong move, “Running doesn’t change who you are. It just changes where you’re at. Stand up for yourselves, force them to change how they treat you.”
Wiping blood from his chin Dennis snapped, “Don’t you think we’ve tried?! That just makes it worse! Look at my fucking face! Do you think I stood there and let this happen?! Do you think Chris wanted to get the shit kicked out of him by some asshole who decided today was a good day to pick on somebody? Come on man, we shouldn’t have to live like this!”
I had to choose my next words very carefully, I didn’t want to push the envelope too fast. “I get it. I know you fight back. What I’m saying is, maybe you’re fighting back the wrong way. What we need is a way to level things out, you know, make it a fair fight.” Once the wheels were turning there was no stopping the machine, they quickly grabbed hold to the idea and ran with it, at first it was sticks and bats then knives finally landing on guns. By the end of that day they were just talking about it, imagining scenarios and cracking jokes. By the end of the month after several more incidents, we were making actual plans. We set up P.O. boxes and ordered weapons using false information we got from different places, before long we were practicing after school every day for weeks. We never wrote anything down and never told a soul what we were planning, the idea was simple we would wipe them all out and show the world what happens when you push someone too far.
In order for my plan to work I couldn’t be involved, this part was actually a lot easier than you may think my father had already planned on having me miss school for a trip to Texas so all I had to do was time it out and it worked out to perfection. The day before we were supposed to do it I had to break it to them that my dad sprung a trip on me and I would have to miss it, we argued a little but in the end they vowed to go through with the plan. What happened next would become one of the worst mass shootings in history, I got a bad feeling from it. I didn’t like the attention, it was too much and it ended badly for both of them. I never attempted that one again, the idea was better than the reality, in the end it was a lesson learned.
I didn’t do anything for years after that, the whole experience was upsetting for me. I went on with my life and made it through college without a single incident. For the most part I’d written it off as just a really fucked up phase of my life, then I started working for a company that will remain nameless because mistakes like that get you caught. I was invited to a New Year’s Eve party one day after work and since I didn’t really have any plans I went. The party was amazing, great food, great music and nice people for the most part. I had just finished my first beer when I ran into an old friend of mine, Caleb. We laughed and talked about the old days for a moment then went our separate ways. It was good to see him again, but as the night progressed I started catching him in different spots watching me. I brushed it off the first few times but as we got closer and closer to midnight I would find him closer to me.
Feeling uncomfortable I wound up leaving early, walking through the parking lot Caleb caught up to me. “I’ve been looking for you for a long time now, you want to hear something funny? I thought you would have at least thanked me for cleaning up your messes, but no, instead you ignored me and left me behind. Why!?” Before I could process what he was saying he launched forward clubbing me across the head with something heavy and everything went black.
When I woke up I was in the backseat of my car parked under an overpass near the river. There’s a yellow sticky note attached the steering wheel that said, “Call me” with a phone number written in blue ink. I ignored it, got myself together and went home, everything went back to normal for a couple of days till I started noticing a bad odor in my car. After a quick search I found a badly butchered young woman’s body, wrapped in plastic rotting in my trunk. I hadn’t had to deal with anything like this before, I’d never given any thought to getting rid of bodies. I wound up driving as far away as I could and dumping her in the bog, the body was never recovered as far as I know.
The next morning before I could leave for work, I got a phone call. “It’s your turn, let’s see how you like it.” Before I could yell my response into the receiver the line went dead. Hanging it up out of anger I grabbed my keys and stormed out the front door, I don’t even remember if I locked it. I was in my car and headed for work in a daze, I couldn’t get his words out of my head. When I got there I spent most of the day just going through the motions but right around lunch I caught sight of Caleb watching me from across the office. (How the hell did he know where I worked?) I got up from my desk and quickly headed in his direction, I never took my eyes off him but somehow between me getting up from my desk and walking to where he was standing, he’d vanished.
I don’t scare easy but something about this was getting under my skin. I couldn’t remember where or when I’d met Caleb, as far back as I could think he’d always been around. I had to put him out of my mind and get back to work but for the rest of the day odd things kept happening. I was sitting at my desk when Tracey one of the office managers stopped to talk to me. “I’ll have you know, I’ve won several awards for my innovations with this company and I don’t appreciate you saying I contribute nothing to this project.” I was shocked by her tone, she seemed genuinely upset but I had no idea what she was talking about. “For you to call my work into question in front of the regional lead was inexcusable, I should fire you.” I was completely caught off guard, I didn’t know how to respond to something I had no memory of doing. Before I could come up with a response she was called away, random people passed by my desk for the rest of the day smiling and giving me the thumbs up. Everyone hated Tracey, she was a self-absorbed blow hard that took credit for other peoples work and never once defended the people under her. As happy as it made me to see her squirm I was still left with this horrible sinking feeling and a gap in my memory. The more I thought about it I couldn’t remember leaving for lunch, I could clearly recall seeing 11:45 on the clock and thinking I only had 15 minutes left. The very next thing I remembered was seeing Caleb and getting up from my desk, by the time my work day was over I’d had at least four conversations with four different people I had no memory of meeting. The truly disturbing part was they all seemed to know me really well, I couldn’t wrap my mind around it.
When I made it home that evening there was a note taped to my front door, it read. “There is no darkness without light, no wrong without right.” It was nonsense, just more scare tactics Caleb was using to get under my skin. Tossing the note in the garbage I went inside and got some rest, if he wanted the old me he would get it. I started making plans for the next time I saw him, the idea was simple the next time we were face to face I was planning on ending his pathetic life. I began carrying a few of my favorite new toys like an overpowered taser and zip-ties, it wasn’t long before I would get my chance.
The following week I used my vacation time to take off from work for a while and set my plan in motion. I jog every morning along the same route, there’s a long stretch of paths that cut through the woods if he was going to ambush me that would be the perfect spot. At 5:30 a.m. I was just hitting the trail, I could feel him out there somewhere watching, waiting on his moment. I’d been on the trail for ten minutes when he sprung his trap, I spotted the trip-line a mile away but I played along just for fun. When I snagged the line I slammed into the ground and pretended to be hurt, Caleb predictably rushed in as I rolled to my back, pulled the taser and fired hitting him square in the chest.
The second he dropped I got up and hog-tied him before dragging him off the path, when I was sure we were out of sight I checked him for weapons and found he was carrying a combat knife. He smiled at me holding it in my hand. “Feels good, doesn’t it?” before he could say another word I clamped my left hand over his mouth and using my right drove the blade through his throat. Turning my wrist to open the hole, I stared into his eyes and as he wheezed out a long breath I inhaled deeply sucking in his last gasp of life. Once I was sure it was over I pulled my hand away from his face, he was still smiling. I had to move fast, other people jog that path and someone could be coming at any moment. I took off my sweat shirt, rolled the knife up in it and stuffed it in the sport bag I carry my water in. Using the water I washed my hands and face before getting back on the path just in time to see a pair of women turning onto the trail, I still had to get rid of the trip-line. I pretended to be stretching then took a step towards the tree and acted like I was tying my shoe, in one motion I slipped my fingers through the loop and snatched back snapping the line and slightly cutting into my fingers at the same time. I stood and stretched one last time before jogging passed them headed back to my apartment, that old feeling washed over me as I moved along the sidewalk and I realized in that moment how much I’d missed it. The electricity in my veins, the fire in my lungs the outright blissful euphoria of it all surged through me and I smiled. I laughed and picked up my pace feeling more energized than I had in years, I was back.
That night I went out bar hopping, I’m not a heavy drinker but that wasn’t the point, I was fishing. I wasn’t getting anything for the first couple of hours, I moved from place to place waiting for someone to catch my eye but for the most part it was a dud. I called for a cab and stepped outside to wait, “Excuse me, can I get a light?” a sweet sounding voice called to me as a beautiful young woman with long dark hair stepped up beside me. “I’m sorry, I don’t smoke.” She looked at me and smiled slipping her cigarette back in the pack, “That’s ok, you wouldn’t happen to have the time would you? I’ve been waiting on this cab forever.” I gave her the time and we stood there making small talk for a while till the cab finally arrived, we agreed to split the fare and hopped in. Something about her made me happy maybe it was her energy or possibly that wicked little smirk but I wanted to know her. We exchanged numbers before I got to my stop and went our separate ways.
The next night I went out again, I roamed around driving from spot to spot hoping to catch that urge but this time it didn’t take long. I was passing through uptown when I spotted him, your run of the mill neighborhood tough guy standing on the corner talking to a lady that was clearly uninterested in the conversation. I parked on the other end of the building then got out and crept through the alley coming out behind him. I decided to use a gun this time, I watched from the shadows waiting on the chance, there’s nothing like that feeling when you’re waiting for someone to step into your trap. I love it almost as much as the fallout, he walked past the alley not knowing I was there, I stepped out behind him silently raised the gun aimed at the back of his head and fired. It was over in an instant and I was racing through the alley back to my car. When I got there I calmly got in and drove away as people started to gather around the body, no one saw me, it happened so fast no one had a clue, thanks to the revolver there were no shells to find, it was quick and clean.
I had another two days left on my vacation and I was going to make the most of it. I wanted something special this time, I traveled to an upscale shopping center and wondered around buying little things while fishing for another fix. A grey haired older woman sat on a bench near the shoe store talking to someone on the phone. (Perfect.) I walked over and sat on the bench next to her, in my left pocket I was holding a syringe filled with paint thinner, I intentionally bumped her with my leg and injected her with the full dose then excused myself and walked away. I didn’t wait to see the outcome but I found out later through the news the woman died. With two down I was feeling like a kid again, and on my last day of vacation I decided that was exactly what I wanted.
Before I go further I just want it to be known, I’m not a sexual predator, I haven’t ever and will never rape anyone. As a point of pride I go out of my way to eliminate those types when I come across them, but I’ll save that for later. In any case I drove to the other side of the city for my last day and spent it looking for a victim. It took hours to finally find a good fishing hole but when I did it took less than 15 minutes to find what I was looking for. He was just a little younger than I was around the time of my first kill, he’d wandered away from the playground and was off playing by himself. The park sits on the edge of a natural bayou the water is deep and dark, it’s separated from the playground by a dense section of trees which is where I had been watching from the entire time. I didn’t hesitate, the moment he was out of view from the playground I rushed him and snapped his neck before he could scream then weighed down the body with rocks and dumped him in the water.
My vacation was over, on Monday morning I stepped through those doors still riding the buzz off the last week of my life and it felt amazing. I breezed through the day and even managed to log some programing time before I clocked out and headed home. I was feeling so good I finally decided to make a call I should have made days ago.
Her name is Tabitha, since the day I met her I couldn’t stop thinking about her, even when I was getting my fix her name rattled around in my brain every day. I actually felt nervous waiting for her to pick up, I couldn’t believe it, I was in the middle of rehearsing what I would say when the line clicked over. “Hello.” that one little word set my nerves at ease, smiling to myself I cleared my throat and the words just seemed to spill out. We talked for hours, about everything and nothing, laughing and connecting on the things we had in common, it was the most joy I’d ever felt from a stranger in my life.
We took it slow, only talking on the phone for weeks before finally seeing each other in person. The energy didn’t change, it was still so comfortable and natural with her that it felt like we’d always known one another. One date led to another and another but the odd thing was I didn’t feel that urge anymore. Weeks passed hell months passed, and we had become a legit couple, and in that entire time I didn’t kill a single person.
Then on a Wednesday evening it came back, I don’t know what triggered it, I was havening a good day. But as I pulled up to a stop light on the way home I turned and looked at the car next to me. The guy behind the wheel looked young, he was nodding his head to some song on the radio. I took the gun from under my seat then motioned for him to roll down the window keeping it out of sight. When he let it down I brought the gun up and fired as the light turned green, then I drove off. When I got home I disassembled the gun and put my bike in the car, that night I drove out to the bog burying pieces of the gun along the way. When I got there I cleaned out the car before torching it then rolled it into the swamp. It was a long ride home I didn’t make it back till the next morning, when I got there I reported my car stolen and went on with my day.

Book 1 of The HEL Jumper
Book 2 of The HEL Jumper
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Thanks to Big_Papa_Dakky, Darth_Android, bloblob, AMERICUH, The_Real_Jumper, Mr_Polygon, Krystalin, Damned_Thrice, Mamish, Vikairious, Sam_Berry, RedHawkdude, KillTech, LilLaussa, Daddy_Talon, Gruecifer, Gaelan_Darkwater, Konrahd_Verdammt, red-shirt, DaPorkchop, Benjamin Durbin, and everyone supporting me on patreon.
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A/N: releasing early because I could not share this chapter with the beta readers, because I want to share my April Patreon One Shot with you all here. It is HEL-Verse but contains no humans so it can't stand alone as a post. Finally, I wanted this chapter to drop as soon as it was ready so that I can set about the process of responding to its content and turning my new house into a home. My wife and I have quite a bit to do, and I appreciate your patience. I hope this will tide you over until the next chapter, even if I need to postpone until the 11th. Thank you all for your understanding. Please enjoy.
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“So this god of yours, you simply refer to him as ‘God’?” Thantis asked from where he was seated in an armless rolling chair in one of the Event Horizon’s many laboratories. With him were Monsieur and Madame Dupuis, the both of whom considered spending time with the elderly Cauthan much more of a treat than a chore. Of course, Natori Kaczynski was thankful for the favor.
“Oui, mon ami,” Gerard confirmed, knowing the translator in Thantis’ ear would be fine with rudimentary French. The conversation was a welcome distraction as he reviewed the ongoing analysis of the various Cauthan blood samples generously provided by the villagers. “He is God, a single entity, though many cultures call him by another name such as Allah or Yahweh. They all refer to the same, omnipotent deity.”
Thantis took some time to consider the concept while Gerard reviewed a rudimentary rendering of the Cauthan blood protein responsible for oxygen transport. Yvonne smiled warmly at him as he tapped his cane on the metal floor. "If I may, Yvonne."
"You don't need to be so formal, Thantis. We've already broken bread together, so to speak," she said.
"Of course. But this God of yours, do you pray to him as we do our gods?"
"We do," Yvonne affirmed.
"So a farmer in his field would pray to this God for rain?"
"If he were so inclined," Yvonne answered. "Or clear skies, or a fine harvest."
Thantis nodded. "And a smith at his forge?"
"Same God," Gerard confirmed over his shoulder.
"And warriors about to do battle?" the Cauthan asked with ever increasing disbelief.
"Oh you have no idea," Yvonne chuckled. "It would take an eon to number all the humans who have been killed in religious wars between nations who all profess to believe in the same God. The question was always who was right."
"And who won?" Thantis asked eagerly.
"The conflict is still ongoing, though our weaponry has reached the point that open, organized conflict would lead to the destruction of all sides. The three major monotheistic religions of Earth all remain intact," Gerard explained.
"Is that so? I should very much like to meet this God and understand his reasons for pitting his people against one another," Thantis mused. “If they are all still standing that would imply they all have his favor… or that their god does not exist. I mean no offense, of course, I am simply mulling over this curious situation.”
"We don’t know the truth any more than you do, Thantis. But there is a saying in the Bible, the holy text of one of these religions, that God gave man free will. Who is to say who the responsible party is in the end?" Yvonne posited. "But there are many religions of Earth beyond those three. Some people still worship multiple gods, others worship spirits or ancestors. No one knows who is 'correct' though, as you might imagine, most who do worship insist they have the right of it."
"I see. It would be so strange to only worship Seil but I am not human. Perhaps it would make more sense to me then. May I ask which people worship Io? Are there other spirits like her?" the Cauthan wondered eagerly. Yvonne and Gerard looked at one another, at a bit of a loss.
“Thantis, Io is not-” Gerard began before sitting straight up in his chair and stroking his well-groomed moustache thoughtfully. “No, it would be unwise of me to make claims as to exactly what she is, but she not… oh merde, this is distinction without meaning!”
“It’s been a while since I’ve seen you so flustered, mon loup. Please don’t assault your moustache quite so vigorously though, I’ve taken a fancy to it after all these years,” Yvonne chuckled politely at her husband’s bewilderment. “I think all we can say is that Io is not a spirit, given that she was born from our technology, but we don’t know what she is. As my husband is exemplifying quite nicely for us, that’s hardly a satisfying conclusion.”
‘And do believe I intend to keep it that way,’ a confident voice in a thick, Germanic accent filled the room. ‘I know I’m supposed to announce myself but you set me up too well, Yvonne! Oh and who doesn’t love the idea of being a fly on the wall when you’re the topic of conversation? Welcome back to Maran orbit everyone. Thantis, so good to see you are well.’ Io concluded by co-opting a monitor hanging from the ceiling on an arm next to Gerard’s workstation.
“Ah, spirit Io, a pleasure indeed! How is everyone back on Mara?” Thantis wondered.
‘I am with Russell and Veera at the Forge, but as of your departure two days ago all was well. Alice and Lachlan have been radio silent, which means no troubles I’m sure,’ she assured him.
“Very good, thank you. It has been such an experience here aboard this vessel but I yearn for home,” the Cauthan said.
‘And you shall be delivered soon. As long as I have you here, may I make a request?’ Io’s question garnered the attention of all three in the room rather easily. ‘Tomorrow marks the anniversary, in humanity’s calendar, of the day Russell lost his ship and his crewmates… and the day he met Veera. Our dear Admiral has planned a small ceremony but I was hoping you might say a few words or honor them in your own way. Russell is very fond of your culture and I believe it would help ease his pain.’
Gerard and Yvonne glanced at one another with somber expressions while Thantis bowed his head. “It would be an honor, spirit Io. It’s been a long while since I visited the shrine he built for them. Such a peaceful scene it is, yes? An offering to Kel in exchange for their peace will be in order. Fret not, it shall be done. My apprentice will assist me.”
‘Thank you, both of you,’ Io replied earnestly. “But now let us move on to happier topics, if you don’t mind! Gerard, Yvonne, my friends, what have you been up to these last couple of days? Hmm, quite a bit it seems.” Io displayed herself leafing through files and folders, papers and databases, processing what data had been put together on Cauthan bloodwork. ‘Hmm, slightly less efficient than hemoglobin. Perhaps expected given the higher oxygen concentration in the atmosphere and a lower proclivity towards pursuit hunting.’
“Do go on, dear. Steal all my thunder while you’re at it,” Gerard ribbed her. Io looked Yvonne’s way.
“Sarcasm, my dear.”
‘Yes right, of course… I knew that,’ Io replied in a mutter before clearing her throat. ‘Gerard, how about thundering with some information about this study here, hmm?’
“Ah, that one’s still a work in progress,” Gerard confirmed as he saw the project Io was speaking about pop up on his monitor. “It was Yvonne’s idea actually, a splendid one at that. The idea was to see if we could isolate an equivalent to human chorionic gonadotropin in Cauthan.”
“Excuse me, Yvonne, but your mate appears to have suddenly begun speaking another language,” Thantis interjected with mild concern. Yvonne laughed delightedly and explained.
“Not to worry, Thantis, that was simply the technical name for a chemical that pregnant human women produce. It’s part of a complicated system that prepares our bodies to support and carry a new life inside of us.”
“Ah, thank you very much. Did you find one?” Thantis wondered.
‘Yes, did you?!’ Io piled on, her lab coat and clipboard making an appearance. Gerard sighed and pushed his own chair away from his desk.
“We thought we had. Sequencing and examining a protein in detail takes some effort, but simply confirming a yes or no in terms of presence is quite effortless. It was easy to identify one such compound, which we tentatively labeled Cauhan gonadotropin analog, or CGA.”
‘So what was the problem?’ Io asked, settling herself down in her own chair.
“We found the protein in Veera’s blood samples as well,” Yvonne explained. “And before you ask, we checked Gentia’s sample as well as the other samples from females who presented as not pregnant. Veera was the only anomaly, but it is one that we cannot ignore especially given what little we know of her background. We were hoping to obtain some more samples, get a broader picture of the Cauthan blood protein system. Do you think we could arrange for… Io? Are you still there, little light?”
Thantis, Gerard, and Yvonne found themselves quite suddenly without their AI guest, who had, upon reviewing Gerard’s data, immediately beamed herself back down to Mara. She appeared on Winters’ visor with strands of hair hanging over her forehead and sweat dripping down the curve of her neck. ‘Permission to speak with you in private, sir.’
Russell, who was in the middle of the science camp, nodded and politely excused himself. Veera followed behind him and the two of them took Io’s ‘call’ together from the top of a nearby hill. “What’s going on, Io? Something wrong with the ship?”
‘No, but something strange is going on with your wife,’ Io cut straight to the chase. ‘And Veera, please do not be alarmed before we know more. If you feel in good health I am more than certain you are. It’s just that… something curious happened aboard the Event Horizon while we were gone.’
“You’re pretty damn good at saying a lot and nothing at the same time Io, spill it!” Russell demanded, suddenly agitated and angry.
‘I don’t appreciate that tone from you!’ she back talked him, cutting Veera out of the conversation. ‘If I tell you both what I think might have happened and I’m wrong… it would crush her. Just get her to the civilian medical center on the Event Horizon as quickly as you can. I will make all the necessary arrangements.’
“Russell?” Veera called his name nervously as a gust of wind billowed through the grasses around them and scattered the steam rising from far off pools of heated water. He shook his head and embraced her.
“I’m sorry for getting angry. You’re fine, I promise. It’s just another one of Io’s crazy ideas, ok? She wants you to go up to the Event Horizon to speak with one of our healers. They found something interesting in your blood sample. And I emphasize interesting, not dangerous.”
“That doesn’t make me feel much better, but alright. I trust you two,” Veera said quietly, holding him tightly. She was happy he didn’t have his armor on that day; his body heat was comforting.
“Alright. Are you ready to go?” he asked, looking her over. She was wearing one of the dresses he’d made for her a year prior as well as a light cloak to ward off the wind that seemed to be picking up as the seasons changed on Mara.
“Wait, right now?”
“Yep, watch,” Russell requested, taking her by the hand and walking her back to the science camp.
“Lieutenant Winters, something wrong?” Rodrigo Mendes queried, seeing the drawn look on the man’s face.
“I hope not, Lance Corporal. I’m going to need to borrow Private Orlova and your shuttle, and I’m going to have to request that you dog sit for a few hours,” Russell explained, managing a tic of his lips in what passed for a smile at that moment. “The Event Horizon just got back in range for Io to touch base. She found something in the data logs about Veera, something about her bloodwork. I can’t say anymore.”
“And I wouldn’t ask,” Mendes replied, touching a finger to his helmet and selecting Orlova’s channel with his eyes. “Private, we need a rapid ascent to the Event Horizon immediately.”
“Yes sir,” Natalya acknowledged the orders, stashing one of her books in her footlocker, securing the container, and joining them outside a few moments later. “What’s the situation, Rodrigo?”
“I need you to get Ms. Winters to one of the shuttle bays close to the bow of the ship, near as you can to the civilian hospital. Go now,” he commanded.
Natalya looked from her commanding officer to her superior officer to Veera. Not a smile or soft expression could be found anywhere. She nodded, saluted, and began a remote activation of the shuttle’s engines. “Ms. Winters, if you could follow me please?”
“Veera is fine,” the Cauthan replied, adjusting her cloak and heading towards the vehicle which was parked a few dozen yards from the encampment itself. Russell remained behind for a moment.
“There’s a good chance he doesn’t even come back before we’re planetside again, but if he does, you can find his leash, muzzle, and various food for him at our camp, just over that hill there,” he pointed. Rodrigo nodded.
“Requesting you go take care of your wife, sir. I’ll handle this,” the Brazilian assured him before activating his radio again. “Rex, Lipper, the Horizon is back in orbit. I want you two inside the facility to scout out our next point of study.”
Russell nodded silently, appreciative of Mendes’ decision to engage his other two charges with something other than hanging around and wondering what the sudden burst of activity was about. “Thank you, Lance Corporal.” The two men saluted quickly and Russell jogged off to catch up with Natayla and Veera. The shuttle was off the ground mere moments after the main hatch and cockpit doors closed, rocketing off into the sky as Russell wrapped an arm around Veera’s shoulders and took her paw in the other, stroking her fur along the grain. “It’ll be alright, sweetie.”
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“Not that there’s a problem, but do you think I could get ‘into the loop’, as they say?” Natori asked via intercom, speaking to Io, Gerard, Yvonne, and Thantis who had all relocated to one of the examination rooms in the civilian medical wing. Io had already arranged the equipment for Yvonne’s specialty by the time they’d arrived.
“I believe we are all feeling the same way,” Gerard said. “Though we have not been acquainted for very long you don’t seem the type to overreact or lead others through deception, Io.”
‘Thank you, Gerard. For the moment the one person I least wish to deceive is Veera, but I will tell you all what I can as soon as- sorry, just give me a moment,’ Io requested, holding her heart in her hands and a book in another. ‘Let’s see, acetylcholine to reduce heart rate, parasympathetic nervous system, lower epinephrine and norepinephrine levels… ok, ok. Is this what people mean when they say things like the blood thundering if your ears or your heart drowning out everything else?’
“Are you well, Io?” Yvonne asked with more than a bit of concern in her voice. The AI turned around to ‘face them’ from her screen.
‘I have been given a small shred of hope that despite everything we know to be true, the deepest and dearest wish of my best friend has come true,’ Io explained both simply and cryptically.
“And what wish is that, Io?” Natori inquired, tapping his fingers nervously on his chair and wishing that he had whatever it was that Io used to consciously lower her vitals. Out of the corner of his eye he watched as Natalya practically skidded into the nearest hangar to the civilian medical wing. Were it not for the breaches in protocol, he would have been impressed.
‘The wish of every woman in her tribe, sir, to bring life into this world.’
Thantis’ can clattered to the floor, and the priest looked ready to follow from his chair. “Spirit Io, are you sure?!”
‘No Thantis, I am not… hence the obtuse language and secrecy,’ she explained with a look of regret, pacing back and forth through her monitor. ‘Madame Dupuis, I daresay we will be in need of your services today.’
“And you will have them, Io, but I must point out the more likely explanation if Veera is, in fact, with child.” Yvonne put forward her proposition cautiously. “It would not be the first time a husband has received very unwelcome news in my clinic, and I doubt it will be the last.”
“Impossible,” Thantis insisted, standing with the help of his now retrieved cane. “I understand we are all individuals of learning, medicine, and reason but Veera is a woman of strong, nay unshakable faith. She would not break her promise to Russell, or to the Mother.”
“Admiral Kaczynski, are you well?” Qul’Roth asked with a puzzled expression on his face. Natori cut his private connection to the medical wing and ran a hand over his brow.
“I am, emissary. Thank you for your concern. I am simply extracting myself from a situation that very rapidly descended into a private matter that is of no import to the operation of this vessel.”
“Very well. As agreed, do you have time to review the mining logs and the current state of the ship’s inventory of raw materials?” Qul’Roth proposed.
“An excellent suggestion, emissary. Let us decamp to my office.”
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While Qul’Roth might have been an alien distracted by numbers and figures, Veera was not. The memory of Asha’s ultrasound fresh in her mind, she turned to Russell immediately upon entering the examination room and coming face to face with the Dupuis couple and Thantis. “What did Io see? What’s wrong with my womb?” she demanded fearfully. Winters’ brow was furrowed as he looked around at the small group.
“I’d like to know that too. Io?” he shouted far too loudly for a medical setting. “Now.”
‘Your anger is not doing anyone any good,’ Io warned him.
“And yet here we are,” he shot back, cracking his neck and straightening his shoulders. The fact that Veera’s hand remained in his throughout took a bit of the intimidating edge off. “You’ve kept me and Veera in the dark long enough. Talk.”
Io hung her head and took a deep breath, but brushed some stray hair out of her eyes and complied. ‘I was reviewing Gerard’s work on the various Cauthan blood samples taken over the last couple of weeks, sir. Given the relatively large number of pregnant females from which we have samples, Yvonne and Gerard decided to run a comparative protein screen to see if any sort of pregnancy marker could be identified. They thought they found one until the protein in question also appeared in Veera’s sample… and not those from any other non-pregnant female.’
“Russell!” Veera whispered urgently, wondering if she’d understood Io correctly. He squeezed her hand lightly.
“Are you alright with this?” he asked her. She turned toward him and waved her feathers questioningly.
“What do you mean?”
“You didn’t notice anything odd lately right? You haven’t experienced any of the issues Asha had during her pregnancy, right?” he asked. Yvonne shrugged approvingly and opened up her personal device, adjusted her glasses, and began taking notes. Thantis cleared his throat and walked over to the two of them.
“I will find us some tea and return, should you wish for me to remain. I am not sure how long it would take for Gentia to arrive here. My trip was rather long,” he explained.
“Of course we want you here,” Veera replied, tapping a talon against the metal floor. “And I really need to get some shoes, this floor is cold on my pads.”
Thantis grinned and poked his glasses up his muzzle so they rested comfortably there. “Then I shall return shortly. Spirit Io, might I request your assistance?”
‘Always happy to help with a tea run,’ the AI affirmed. ‘Out the door and to your right, please. We will use the staff break room.’
When the door slid shut quietly behind Thantis, Yvonne spoke up. “Veera, might I ask you a few more questions? Your husband makes a good point, so correct me if I’m wrong, Russell.”
“Go ahead,” he offered, reminding himself that Alice trusted Yvonne, as did Asha and Gentia.
“Thank you. Veera, can I offer you a seat?” Yvonne began, offering one of the normal chairs instead of the examination seat. Russell pressed ever so lightly on her back between her shoulder blades, encouraging her. He followed right behind as she complied and Gerard stepped back to observe. “I’d just like to ask a few more questions so that I do not confuse your body with a human’s. We know so little about your people and hopefully we will be able to find the reason for this anomaly today. You seem to be right as rain.”
“I do feel perfectly healthy, yes,” Veera agreed. Yvonne hummed approvingly and made a note.
“Very good. Have you experienced any shortness of breath lately?”
“Does running count?” she wondered.
“No, my dear. Outside of exercise or normal physical activity,” Yvonne clarified patiently, pleased to be speaking directly in English with a Cauthan patient. Russell clasped his hands behind his back and waited, a stiffness present in his body normally reserved for superior officers.
“No, none of that,” Veera confirmed.
“Great. Any dizziness, nausea, soreness or pain?”
“No.”
‘Tell them about your heats,’ Io cut in, her comment causing Winters to run his hands through his head with frustration.
“Are you fucking serious right now?”
‘Yes.’
“Ma chatounette, I shall be in the labs and do my best to confirm the result. Call if you need me. Best of luck and health to you both,” the frenchman offered, excusing himself politely. Yvonne blew him a kiss as he departed before returning to her examination.
“Little light, please, we all want answers as much as you do. Veera, can you tell me a little bit about what it’s like to be a Cauthan woman? How frequently can you get pregnant? I know from Asha that gestation is about a year. And what are these ‘heats’ that Io mentioned?”
Veera looked up at her husband. He closed his eyes and nodded his head. “This is all your private medical information. You’re a civilian, unlike me. No one can see this unless you want them to.”
“Alright. Well Yvonne, we go into heat once a season when mature. It’s not something I’ve discussed with other females but I presume everyone deals with their own in their own way. All I know about being pregnant is what Asha has gone through. It doesn’t sound very comfortable,” Veera explained.
“No, no it is not for human women either, though the experience varies radically from individual to individual,” Yvonne acknowledged. “Before Thantis returns, can you tell me about your recent bouts of estrus please? That’s the medical term for ovulation and your heat. Perhaps we should stick to it for now?”
“I’d like that,” Veera affirmed, having never felt more self-conscious in her life. “How far back should I go?”
“It would be best to be thorough, my dear,” Yvonne explained. Veera examined one of her claws nervously.
“Alright. Well, I started having them normally when I was about fifteen or so. A couple years later they stopped.”
Yvonne scribbled another note before looking up at her. “Do you know why? Did you become pregnant?”
“No, I was starving,” Veera clarified. Winters placed a hand on her shoulder as Yvonne made another note.
“I assume they have returned, given Io’s comments?”
“Yes. I’m not sure about last fall and winter. It may have happened but I wasn’t uh… I was still a maiden,” Veera tried to explain the concept of virginity without outright saying it.
“I understand, dear,” Yvonne assured her warmly. “And since then?”
“I definitely had one in the spring which was rather extreme.”
‘I’d say so,’ Io agreed. ‘And don’t look at me like that, sir. You’d say so too given the state of your back.’
“Now’s not the time, Io,” he told her shortly. She sighed and shook her head.
‘Just trying to lighten the mood.’
“Thank you, Io. Now Veera, what about summer?” Yvonne requested.
“It was only a few days ago and very mild,” Veera confirmed, causing Winters to cock his brow.
“I guess we’ll talk about that later,” he decided, causing Yvonne to titter with laughter as Thantis picked an opportune moment to arrive with tea, carried in a small cup tray. The Jumper moved to help him immediately, taking a couple of disposable cups with thanks.
“This may be a bad time, but could we discuss these teabags at some point?” Thantis insisted. Russell laughed, hearing and feeling how tight his chest was. The light beige walls were agitating him.
“Sure thing Thantis, no problem,” he agreed. Behind them, Yvonne had decided that it was time to move onto a basic physical. Over several minutes she took Veera’s blood pressure, heart rate, blood oxygen content, and other vitals that were readily observable.
“I don’t have much in the way of a baseline,” Yvonne admitted, having only examined Asha in such detail before. “But if I were to use human standards, you are in excellent health Veera. So why don’t we take another blood sample so we can check on our little mystery and then we’ll have a look inside just to be sure.”
“O-Ok,” the Cauthan agreed, not knowing what else she could do given the circumstances. Russell gave her tea as Yvonne prepared her other arm for a blood draw. The taste was strange, but the warm liquid was most welcome, soothing her stomach and driving away some of the chill in the room. “Ow!”
“Forgive me, my dear, but that was all the pain for today,” Yvonne assured her. “Io, if you would?”
‘Of course, Dr. Dupuis,’ the AI replied, using one of the mechanical arms hanging from the ceiling to retrieve and label the blood sample before spiriting it away to the labs for Gerard’s attention.
“Thank you. Thantis, Russell, I would ask you to move to the head of the examination chair, please,” Yvonne requested, seeing that Veera’s outfit would require her to lift her dress in order to have a proper ultrasound. The men did as requested, with Winters placing a kiss at the point on Veera’s head where her feathers met her fur. The doctor washed her hands well before returning, placing the bottle of ultrasound gel under her armpit to get it warmer. “Veera, we will be doing exactly what you watched the other day with Asha. Is that alright with you?”
“Yes, it is. Thank you, Yvonne.”
“Oh my dear, it is a pleasure,” the doctor assured her. “You have been very brave and we will get to the bottom of this one way or another. Your body will almost always tell you if something is wrong. If it does not, you have us now. Now then, let’s take a look, shall we?”
Winters found himself holding his breath as Yvonne turned on the machine and the display crackled to life. Thantis could not help himself.
“By Kel, what is that over there?” he asked.
‘This machine uses sound to safely peer inside someone’s body. The image will not be crystal clear, but it’s a tool humans have been using for more than a century,’ Io elucidated.
“First light and now sound?” Thantis remarked in disbelief. “Is there any force of nature you humans have not conquered?”
“Many, Thantis, but another time, please,” Russell requested. The elderly Cauthan composed himself and cleared his throat, well aware that outside of Veera’s health it was not the time for detailed scientific inquiry. “Yvonne, what are we looking at?”
“Not a whole lot yet,” the doctor replied. “There isn’t much empty space in a normal human body and it seems Cauthan are not much different. Shall we just check in on your heart while we are here? That’s what’s pumping your blood after all.”
Veera couldn’t help but shiver as a new dollop of gel was placed higher on her body and Yvonne angled the wand upward. All four of them studied the beating organ as Io resolved the grainy image as best as possible. Yvonne began her analysis. “Thank you, Io. Everything appears to be functioning normally. The tissue appears smooth and I’m not seeing any lumps or bumps that would indicate cancer or abnormal growth. I acknowledge we don’t even know if Cauthan can get cancer yet, but since they do experience aging I think the answer to that is likely yes,” she reasoned before moving on. Over the next several minutes she checked Veera’s lungs as well as a couple other points of interest that she happened upon purely by accident as they worked their way down Veera’s diaphragm. While a dissection subject or tissue biopsies would be necessary to determine the function of the organs, Yvonne was able to note that, at a minimum, nothing appeared to be wrong at first glance. “Now, your stomach is quite flat but let’s take a look anyway, shall we?” she continued, as though that were not the focal point of the entire ordeal. Her efforts at maintaining a calm environment were appreciated, but Winters could feel his palms sweating and his heart racing. Veera was not faring much better, her feathers shaking about as violently as he’d ever seen. A small, black void appeared on the monitor.
“There it is,” Yvonne informed them, slowing the speed of her movement over Veera’s fur and skin to take a closer look. “Now I have seen several cases of uterine cancer and other abnormal growths in my day and I am pleased to report that I’m not seeing anything like… mon dieu. Mon dieu! Io…”
‘I KNEW IT!’ the AI shrieked. ‘Ich wusste es!’
Russell brought a hand to his mouth, tugging at his cheeks as his untrained eye took in the ultrasound. Yvonne composed herself quickly as Veera’s claws began digging into his arm. At that moment he didn’t care a lick if she drew blood. “Veera, my dear, I would stake my medical degree on the assertion that that little formation you see there is not a tumor, growth, or anything dangerous. I think that’s your… oh there’s another!”
Thantis’ cane clattered to the ground for the second time in less than an hour, sounding like an automatic rifle for how quiet the examination room was. Io was mimicking Russell to an extent, both hands over her mouth as tears flowed freely from her eyes and she shook her head back and forth.
“I’m sorry!” Veera cried suddenly, forcing Yvonne to sit back as the Cauthan leapt to her feet and took her partner’s hands. “I’m sorry, Russell! I didn’t- I promise I didn’t! It’s only ever been you. I promise, I promise,” she whispered. Russell’s body accepted her hands into his, but his mind was somewhere else entirely, his eyes staring somewhere well beyond the examination room and even the hull of the Event Horizon. He didn’t know if he was dreaming or if someone had simply switched his life with someone else’s, but according to the French doctor staring at them both, his wife was going to give birth to not one but two cubs in a year that could not possibly be his. The roof of his mouth was dry. He couldn’t feel his legs. He couldn’t hear anything. What he did feel, however, was Io clocking him in the forehead with a mechanical arm.
‘Where the hell do you think you’re going?!’ she screeched. He blinked and looked around. Somehow he was facing the door of the room instead of Veera. Turning around he found her, supported by Yvonne and Thantis, looking at him with a pitiful and pleading look on her usually proud face that he never wanted to see again. It was so unlike the woman he knew and loved. ‘First Lieutenant Russell Winters you turn around this instant! And if you dare say you’re thinking what I think you’re thinking so help me I will turn this entire ship around just so I can slap you harder with this arm!’
Veera choked back a sob and shook her head vigorously. He walked to her slowly and opened his arms to her, accepting her into a difficult embrace as he spoke to the ceiling. “What am… what am I supposed to think? We don’t even have the same genetic material.”
“I didn’t,” Veera whispered again. Her words tore at his heart and mind alike. For a year they had both adjusted to the idea that children were a thing meant for other couples, for people who had not fallen for someone so far away from their own existence. There was now bloodwork and an ultrasound that seemed to confirm Veera was with cub. An eventuality that affected military men with depressing frequency, one he thought he’d thought impossible, was suddenly rearing its head to dominate the darker parts of his imagination. He couldn’t stop running through names. All seemed unlikely, even impossible, but each one made his blood boil. “I didn’t.”
‘She didn’t, and I have the logs to prove it,’ Io insisted strongly. ‘So if we could all take a seat and a sip of tea, I am going to put forth my thesis and you all will listen. That goes double for you, sir. I know that look on your face and none of the males in the village are going to get a visit from you tonight. Haben wir uns verstanden?’ she demanded, pointing her weapon of choice directly in Winters’ face. ‘I am so sorry, Veera. This should be the happiest day of your life and I intend to prove that it is.’
“T-Thank you, Io,” the Cauthan sniffled, resting a hand on her belly while Yvonne supplied her with a few disposable towels to remove the majority of the gel. “Do you really think I’m-”
‘I believe the evidence is clear and staring us in the face,’ Io replied, abandoning her harsh voice she’d reserved for her operator and switching to a far more comforting tone. ‘Thantis?’
“Yes?!” the elder replied, clearly startled at having been brought into the conversation at all.
‘Thantis, can you tell us how common twins are in your village?’ Io requested. The scholar did not hesitate.
“Exceedingly rare, spirit Io. I believe the last incidence was before I was born. Why do you ask?” he wondered.
‘Because I am trying to determine just how unique Veera’s pregnancy-’ Io broke off mid-sentence to squeal with delight, eliciting a strained but honest laugh from Veera. ‘Oh how wonderful! As I was saying, I am trying to determine just how unique this occurrence is. Respectfully, Thantis, I consider Gentia’s circumstances as well.’
“If it helps, I do not mind explaining further,” he agreed, but Io help up a hand.
‘No need, my friend. But I thank you. Now that we’ve all stopped crying and attempting to do things we would absolutely regret later on, let’s review what we know and have some tea. Tea!’ Io insisted when no one drank. ‘Very good. Now then, we know that Veera has experienced resource dearth and surplus in her life. Unlike many villagers she has experienced famine and then feast. She has been mating and coming into contact with human ejaculate regularly. She possesses hormones in her blood that as of this time have only been found in other pregnant females, and she is pregnant with twins. What does this tell us?’
“I think let’s just skip to the answer, little light,” Yvonne suggested, having done nothing but take notes since Veera had leapt from the examination chair.
‘Facultative parthenogenesis!’ Io declared with no small amount of pride in her voice. ‘Think about it. What’s more likely, Veera running around behind Russell’s back, or her species being capable of self-reproduction when resources are plentiful but the male just isn’t getting the job done? No offense, sir. I’m sure you’re quite fertile.’
“Lord knows that’s probably in the HEL’s records too,” he acknowledged.
‘Sod the records! What do you think of my hypothesis? Veera is an alien, Russell. We have no idea what her body is capable of. You really think she cheated on you?!’
Winters looked at Veera, searching her amber eyes for whatever passed for truth in such a situation. He didn’t know how much was rational evaluation and how much was hope beyond hope that he hadn’t been betrayed. “No, I don’t.”
In response, Veera promptly stood and seated herself in his lap, hugging him and crying that ‘Meylith had answered their prayers’. For all he knew about whatever parthenogenesis was, it was every bit as compelling of an explanation. Thantis was clasping his hands together and simply appreciating the scene, though he joined Yvonne when the doctor stood and declared she would be departing to give them some time and to organize her notes. The death priest promised that he would see them back at the village, and that it was currently his duty to report to Gentia with all possible haste. Veera simply waved an affirmative through her feathers, far too occupied with holding on to Russell for dear life. To say her life had been upended was a colossal understatement.
‘If you don’t believe me, sir, we can always go for a genetic test,’ Io proposed, willing to accept that his acceptance of the situation was likely far more difficult than hers.
“Don’t,” he commanded, shaking his head. “We can… we’ll know the truth when they’re born. I don’t want anyone touching Veera’s cubs.”
“Russell…” Veera whispered sadly into his shoulder, unable to miss his description of her cubs as hers and perhaps hers alone.
“You promise… you promise you didn’t…” he couldn’t quite bring himself to say it, but Veera understood.
“On every god, darling. On my mother’s and father’s spirit as well,” Veera proclaimed, shifting in his lap so she could look him in the eyes. He nodded and kissed her on the nose.
“I guess- I guess that little cabin in the mountains is going to need another room or two,” Russell murmured. Further words proved unnecessary as Veera dissolved into tears along with Io. He contented himself with the fact that they sounded joyful.
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Thank you for waiting as long as you have.
I've been taking my time and learning about cooking, and building some of the universe that this story resides in as well as fine tuning the species and the location for this next story. I don't have everything perfect yet, but this is as much as I wanted to get without stringing you guys along for another week. So there's going to be some errors with grammar (It is not my strong suit) and word spelling or misspelling.
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The ship was slowing down.
Although he couldn't exactly see why they where slowing the planet below them Chandak still looked very far off. Although he wasn't a sailor and this was his first and probably only trip into space, he still knew that the distance between them and him had to be well in the hundreds of thousands of kilometers. An to be honest, space scared the crap out of him.
It was a big lifeless void of nothing. So monumentally open and big they had dedicated one solitary word to describe it. An so much of it there really was. He had done reading on space and space travel at the behest of his wife who had had enough of him complaining about a trip, that he had competed for. It was nerves really. So he'd dutifully read up on the subject as much as he could, going over the safety procedures and the ship they'd be traveling on with a fine tooth comb. There where escape pods located along the hull on both sides even he could operate with a few weeks worth of ration and water inside as well as a beacon for rescue. There where emergency force-fields that would snap into place encase of explosive decompression, with their own dedicated power supply. Plus they were being escorted by three warships and some of the finest marines and sailors their navy had to offer.
Knowing these few things made him feel safer, but it still would not erase the butterflies when he saw his staff press themselves against the glass to see their first alien planet below.
The competition to get here had been fierce.
While advisors where essentially representing all of humanities knowledge on military tactics and what else they could divulge, the cultural representatives would be sharing dances and art work as well as more detailed history than they had managed to scrounge on their own. It was something he was genuinely interested in, history had always been a bit of a side hobby, that was when it wasn't dwarfed by his passion for cooking with meat.
Chef Daniels ran a successful Smokehouse and Live-Music Restaurant back on Earth. He had built his reputation on smoking a lot of the meat they used in their recipes, to make a generous BBQ spread year round.
Steaks, hamburgers, ribs, stuffed peppers, smoked brisket, smoked chicken along with some smoked sausage that he'd gotten a local retailer to let him design. Some of the younger kids on his staff had recently smoked an egg in the kitchens smoker as well. It had turned out fine but he hadn't put much thought into adding it to the menu. Along with all the meat they had salads, some pasta dishes as well as the regular fries, onion rings and chicken wings that any restaurant that could be called one would have.
But this was a challenge he'd never truly faced before.
Sure it was easy to make a pulled pork sandwich, or serve a half rack or full rack of ribs to his customers. His All-Meat Burger with pulled pork, sausage, chicken and fish had put his place on the map in many respects. They even had a yearly contest for their Seventy Two ounce steak, over four thousand calories twice the daily intake for anyone not overly active. It was expensive and only a few contestants a year tried it, but it brought in the crowds and it was spectacle that always made his place the center of attention for that one night.
Now though he wasn't feeding Omnivores. These folks where strictly Carnivores, and it wasn't a lifestyle choice this was how they'd evolved over the years. On meat based diet. That was a challenge to create a dish for, it meant no buns no pasta, even the batter was out. No starches, no yeast, no vegetables to lighten the blow of the proteins. Only fats, proteins along with butter and creams. He even had to be careful what spices he used cause some could put the aliens into shock, or even outright kill them. So no Thyme, Oregano, or Mint, those where actually deadly towards them. Not that he'd put mint in any meat dishes. Things like celery seeds, chives, dill and any similar spices where to be avoided as they weren't immediately lethal but they didn't want to accidentally poison them. Paprika, red pepper flakes, chili powder, white pepper, mustard powder where okay though. As well as a lot of other spices so he had some wiggle room. Though he had to go by the technical jargon the scientists had provided to each restaurant picked and make a dish that they'd assumed wouldn't harm them, but still taste delicious.
Though without a current cooking culture on that planet or really in the galaxy at large it was very hard to gauge what they did and did not like.
Chef Daniels Sous Chef came walking up with a tablet in hand, he had relegated her to do inventory again. He himself had done lots of reading and rereading the Approved Rumanoid Consumption list and checking what they had brought with the Sous already, triple checking the seals and inspecting them everyday they had been traveling. It drove the ship crew nuts, but it was a habit he wasn't about to break.
"Everything's still sealed in stasis, no breaks in the container, leakage or spoilage either. The spices haven't been touched by the Galley crew either and all of our supplies are accounted for." Sous Chef Hetav been with him for eight years by now and was looking into opening her own place in a year or two, he was sad to see her go but it was the nature of the business. Besides he had one or two promising cooks who he could train to take her place.
He gave her a nod of thanks and held out his hand for her to place the tablet into, he immediately began his own look over the inventory. It wasn't that he didn't trust her. This was a dinner so important he'd had to compete against an entire world's worth of talented Chefs and Restaurants just to be able to go. The winner's where representing and entire people spread over five planets. And although his wasn't the only team of cooks going down to Chandak, they where the only one from Earth.
"Good. Get our guys to start packing the equipment and supplies together the Captain told me we'll be passing through their borders and making landfall within the next four hours. I want everything ready to go in the vans before we touch down."
"Yes Chef." She went to wrangle the younger cooks with some of the more senior staff.
He swallowed some air and looked down at the planet as the ship began moving again. "I hope nothing goes wrong."
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How could this have happened at a time like this?
Admiral Siwasuri was looking at the report that had been handed to him by the Captain of the Cruiser they were now on. "Is this accurate?" he read over it again hoping it wasn't so. This was supposed to be a diplomatic trip, one that every sailor, officer, and civilian had been thoroughly screened and vetted for. All of this was supposed to be behind them in Sol.
"Yessir, Warrant Officer Rivard caught the Petty Officer tampering with the food supplies aboard the Olive Branch."
He looked over the report, "Oregano? Is that on the Barred List?" It seemed to the Admiral that he had forgotten the finer things that separated Humans from Rumanoids.
"Yessir, along with Mint and Thyme. I've been checking records and setting a shipwide search for more of the barred items. I've also been sent a message by the Captain of the Olive Branch, the Chef whose supplies has been tainted has been notified." His face tight and his jaw set. This could mean that the Protection of Humans terrorist group had gotten onto their ships. They where set against an alliance with the Rumanoids because of their carnivorous nature.
The Rumanoids did give them plenty of reasons to hate them however. A bulky and pack centered race they where known as fierce fighters and regularly participated in blood sports where a few deaths a year wasn't unheard of. Rituals of burning themselves with hot metal as a sign of rank in their military or of important in political office was often painful for humans to watch and resembled branding cattle on a ranch. Not to mention their eating of raw meat exclusively as the base of their diet. That made a lot of peoples stomachs turn back home.
After reviewing the tablet and the attached file of the Petty Officer he decided that this was something he owed his opposite number an explanation. "Please inform Keert Nothran that I'd like to talk to her. We need to make them understand that this isn't why we're here."
"Yessir." he gave a sharp salute and left the Admiral to think in the Captains quarters.
Interlacing his fingers he rested his head on them and thought.
The screen above him beeped with the words INCOMING TRANSMISSION flashing on them. He made sure his uniform was tidy and straight as well as his posture before hitting the answer button. "Keert Nothran." Stating her Name then Rank as was traditional in their culture.
"Admiral Siwasuri this is unexpected. We have just cleared you for entry into our space." the translator was give the Nothran's barking singing voice an aged female human one to compensate for the lack of lips. Rumanoid culture as it turns out had a more Matriarchal social structure much like lion packs did. Few males and many females.
"I'd like you to hold off on granting our ship entry into your airspace for the moment. We have a saboteur on board." he waited as she took in the news, his mind trying to anticipate her next words and what he would say to keep this diplomatic mission on track.
"I was informed that your ships had been cleared of these terrorists, and was assured they would not interfere." He noted the insignia on her chest, a stark change from the women under his command, where their chests where flat rather than rounded like humans where. Also the body of a Rumanoid looked more like a werewolves did with some thicker legs and more dexterous fingers with smaller claws but no less sharp he'd been assured. They where a study in an evolved predator species that had come from a more canine background, especially since they had retained many of the sharper teeth and the palate for raw meats.
It was intimidating and sent his reptile brain screaming, the first time that is.
"I was given those same assurances Nothran, it seems they found a way to bypass our strictest security protocols and get aboard. You've been briefed on the Protectors of Humanity?" making sure his back was straight tall and he appeared as confident as she did. While they didn't eat sentient meat or act as much as animals as one would expect this was still a military officer and it wouldn't do to show weakness towards them.
She spat to the side in what the translator told him was a equivalent curse to her people. "We have come across these prejudices before. They are scared we will try and conquer your race and subject them to our ways. These Protectors of Humanity show the same fear our people do. The radicals who fear change to our ways, that humans will make us soft." she barked something to the crew around her, something about orders and teams that the translator didn't quite pick up. Finally turning her muzzle to the screen separating them. "I will send down a team of my own to inspect the tainted goods. I will not let these sniveling cubs come between our friendship."
He gave her a curt nod. "I appreciate that. I will be sending a transmission back to my superiors I would be happy to send yours along as well."
At the very corner of her muzzle a smile crept up the side. It was the closest her species got to smiling in the monkey way. "I am thankful for the offer. We have our own channels to send to your people." she looked directly at the human Admiral on her screen. "May you fly true Admiral Siwasuri."
"Fly true Keert Nothran." and with that their conversation was over. He blew out a relieved breathe of air. "That went better than I'd expected."
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Captain De Louise was taking a verbal beating from Chef Daniels after he'd learned about his dry goods being tainted with oregano of all things.
He had stormed into her office clearly upset, angry, and scared that he had been targeted and the confidence in his craft was now under scrutiny by aliens. Not to mention the fact that they had just performed a check on their inventory before the Petty Officer had been caught sabotaging their spices.
The Captain let him vent for a few minutes, until she recognized a man on a rant and had raised her voice. Something she rarely did in her command, a fact she was quite proud of in her military career. These however where not people in the rank and file. These where civilians. "Mr. Daniels!" her voice carried through the small conference room easily and silenced all who where speaking. Switching tone immediately she laid out what they now knew. "We have caught the Petty Officer who tainted your dry goods."
"Rub." he quickly corrected her.
Not used to people being so forward with her on her ship she quickly changed tact from her commanding presence to one of a sympathetic nature. He was reminding her of a young De Louise who had refused to listen about the dangers of house parties. "Yes Rub, and we are questioning him as we speak. The Oregano has been contained and is being sealed away before our guests arrive. We are doing all we can to stop this sabotage before it gets out of hand."
"Out of hand?!" he pulled out his tablet and pointed to an item she could barely see. "They put it in the Rub! That's the biggest batch of 'dry goods' we have! It's practically useless now! How am I supposed to cook brisket without Rub?!"
While the Captain was contemplating what a Rub was for her second in command spoke up to her aid. "I'm sure if you spoke to our Chef he would have something to help you out, we've already cleared him and his crew and their free of Barred Items and anything less lethal to Rumanoids."
"How am I supposed to recoup that much loss? All the ingredients for another batch are back on Earth!"
Having enough of this insubordination on her ship, under her command civilian or not. "Mr. Daniels!" his unimpressed eyes latched onto her again. "I'm sure a creative man like you can find a way. I don't have time to spare for your problems, I have terrorists to find and not a lot of time to find them." she looked to a rather serious looking sailor in uniform. "Master Petty Officer escort Mr. Daniels out of this room and make sure he does not bother me again unless it is related to someone dying."
"Yessir." and he turned to the two civilians in front of him. "Sir, Ma'am this way." all but shoving them out of the door. Leaving the Captain of the Olive Branch and her crew to reviewing reports and logs of all the crew onboard she was responsible for.
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Chef Daniels was furious.
This was a defining moment of his career, something that he'd only dream he'd be able to do and now it was being ruined by a bunch of fearmongering assholes who could only imagine bad and not the good.
He had been given a pair of military escorts that followed him back down to the storage area they had been given for their supplies. Already inside Sous Chef Hetav was with the rest of the cooks frantically checking each package sealed and unsealed to check for any more barred items they may have gotten into the meat or other spices. With technicians providing scanners that went deep inside the meats to check again that it wouldn't kill the Rumanoids.
With a sharp tone that was holding back anger. "What did they get?"
She stood up and looked at her Chef and then gave a nod to the sailor who was scanning the brisket beside her. A very slow and thorough process.
The air condensed into a cloud around her mouth in the compartment, while not what it was originally intended for this was to help keep the meat as cold as possible as they checked it outside of the stasis containers. "Seems the rub was the only thing tainted so far. When we came in there was oregano scattered everywhere on the floor looks like they got into a fight. It's been cleaned up and put into a sealed box. It looks like he got pretty far into mixing it in with the rub, it wasn't a lot and it was powdered so it would have gone unnoticed when we'd apply it. By the amount though looks like we got lucky with that Warrant Officer, he was planning to ruin our entire inventory."
Rubbing his face with a palm Chef Daniels grumbled and then started making plans. "Get Saro, Carter, and Julian into the kitchen with you and start working on a new Rub. Everyone else doesn't leave until we're sure the rest of it is fine. I'll stay here to inventory and see what we can salvage." he jerked his thumb at the door as he took out the stylus from his pocket and got to work.
It was a long process and it took nearly three hours for him to be satisfied they weren't going to kill any of the aliens they where serving. About half way into those three hours the Rumanoids showed up.
This meeting was always going to go down in history, but what struck Chef Daniels as the most notable part of this whole thing was how little he was actually afraid of them. Sure they where around six feet tall on average, bodies that looked like they all worked out. They where quite nice, respectful and they acted like professionals. He didn't really see much of their faces or the uniforms they supposedly wore as they where covered in hazmat suits and holding scanners of their own. Which they applied to everything that he had brought with him.
It took some cross checking and showing them the offending substance so they could add it to their database but they where cleared by both Human and Rumanoid techs to serve their food on the surface.
When they where cleared however one tech stayed behind as his staff was sealing everything back up and reengaging the stasis containers. She took off her hazmat hat and breathed in a breathe of safe fresh air. "That smells pretty good." she took another breath through her muzzle and walked closer to Chef Daniels.
He couldn't help his initial reaction of backing up as this big wolf person came up to him. She didn't take it to seriously and politely waited with her paw outstretched. He grasped it and shook it, noticing it had about as much strength as his own either that or she was holding back. "Thank you for letting us take a look. We know much more about this sort of thing."
It wasn't really human words, it was barking whining and very similar dog like noises that came out of her mouth, quickly and efficiently translated. He felt funny like he was talking to a dog that was being voiced over. "I'm just glad we've still got something to serve you!" he laughed and she smiled at the corner of her mouth, looking very alien the way she did it and very familiar.
"I look forward to hearing about it." she gave one last look at the meat on the shelves. "Those are some lucky Ranchers down there."
​
It had taken a whole day but the the culprits had been found, although one had to be brought out in a body bag as they'd successfully committed suicide.
This unnerved Chef Daniels. This attack on his inventory had been bad enough but for someone to actually kill themselves rather than be caught? That made this all to real.
He tried to put it out of his mind as their convoy was greeted by the Rumanoids security detail on their planet. Turns out there where many more girl than guy space wolves and that apparently was quite common. He was envious of those going into the city to learn about space wolf culture and see the sites, his group was pressing their faces up to the windows of the van they'd piled into as they drove on a highway escorted by a small army of local police.
It seems they where just as afraid of their people attacking humans as humans where of them.
Once they left the lakeside city behind them, they came out onto a plains looking landscape. Rolling hills and lush grass fields that seemed well maintained and cultivated for just being grass. An it was boringly simple grass too, same colour same shape with different looking weeds growing in some places. If it wasn't for the weird looking cows he would have sworn he was back in Alberta.
"Look! Alien Cows!" Everyone crowded around the right window looking out at the different looking bovines that were calmly chewing the familiar grass, completely unaware they where the first local fauna being observed by aliens. "Look at those horns, they got big hooves!"
They where indeed larger than home grown cows. Thicker legs held up a bigger body, about thirty percent bigger than your average heffer, with a more furry looking hide. The biggest difference of course was in the face. They had large mouths like a hippos with long necks that allowed them to graze without kneeling. It was an odd sight not to see regular earth cows and see these strange looking hippo/llama/yak hybrids in a field as if it was the most normal thing in the world. Which it was here.
Chef Daniels looked to the marine escort that had come with them, along with his team that was spread out among the four vans they had. "Ever seen anything like it?"
Sergeant Ohama nodded, "Once, when we where given the threat assessment for the location." he still gave the 'cows' a big side eye as he drove. "Still something to see them in person."
They drove for about two hours, or four tamles in local time denominations, when they reached Kerchaw Ranch.
It was a large affair. With their primary food stock being meat they had a large grazing field around them they had driven through along with several big zoo looking enclosures with local animals moving around and being loud. Trying to see what had rolled up to their homes.
Getting out of their vans it was noon in their Twenty Three hour or Forty Six tamle day. So they had plenty of time to get BBQ set up and prep for the evening meal. He got Hetav to start that while he went with Sergeant Ohama to greet the owner of the Ranch.
She was walking over with what he assumed was her best leathers on. Leather work being one of the signature Rumanoid clothing options and exports. She wore what looked like some space cow hide vest over top of a white shirt that came down to her elbows and a red pair of pants that he assumed where also some kind of sewn leather that he'd heard about but was unsure how that was possible. Sticking out her paw much more forcefully than the tech had he jumped a little bit. She was quick to apologize. "Sorry, got a little excited." he took hers and shook it. "You must be Chef Daniels and Sergeant Ohama." he got an enthusiastic shake as well. "I'm Itack Kerchaw, this is my families Ranch."
"Pleased to meet you." greeted the Chef.
"Ma'am." was all she got out of the Sergeant. He was here as security afterall not to socialize, he was sure his conversation with their alien escort was going to be much longer.
"Would you like the tour?"
He held up a hand and she looked at it curiously as he smiled at her and pointed to his staff. "If its okay I'd rather get everything set up before we let my cooks run around."
She gave that weird side smile and nodded. "Sure sure, I'll make sure my girls don't interrupt."
That's when the strangest thing happened.
A ball came rolling out from behind one of the enclosures and barrelled directly for them. About three feet tall it had a silver sheen to it and a black stripe around it that spun with the direction of the sphere. Sergeant Ohama had already drawn his pistol and Daniels was poised and ready to jump or run when Itack put out her hands. "It's okay it's just a Mo'bair."
The Sergeant was still tensed as it slowed down to halt beside the owner. It seemed to right itself so the circle was level with the ground then the top split down the middle and the two halves opened and fell to the side with a hydraulic hiss to press against the ground stabilizing the ball on some metal arms. Every human in view stopped what they where doing to watch this spectacle.
Inside was the third of the races friendly to humans.
Small only three feet in length they had six stubby limbs and a body that looked more like the microscopic Tardigrade, with gecko like hands on each limb they where the only species that wore no clothes and had four eyes. They where also the most technologically advanced of the four races. Developing technology for mobility and speed far before any other race. It was sitting on its belly on a chair, four of its limbs working some different control with three screens in front of its face, while its hole like mouth sat below its eyes closed and looking squids suction cup. With grey skin and looking more overweight than anything, it had by far made the most theatrical entrance than any other species he'd heard of.
"This is He'tailr my Accountant and Supplies Manager." she swept her arm from the small alien to the humans before her. "These are the humans I mentioned before."
It didn't open its mouth but instead words where spoken by a translator somewhere in the sphere itself. "Welcome. I am told that you have far superior nutrient rich food at your disposal."
Daniels looked at Ohama as he holstered his weapon. "Um yeah, what do you like to eat?"
"We do not like to eat. We have no taste buds."
"Oh." He'd forgotten that these folks had sacks of digestive fluids that they simply put organic matter into, and sometimes inorganic as well. They had been unimpressed with Territ 78's famous report on human cooking. "Right. Um your still welcome to some anyway. Body needs food," then despite his inner critic shouting at him he added. "Right?"
Unperturbed the alien grub blinked its weird pupil-less eyes. "Yes we do. I look forward to it." then it turned its attention to the space wolf rancher as the Chef felt embarrassed and looked away trying not to look more foolish than he did. "Here are the daily accounts, and the new order list." holding up a Rumanoid sized datapad with a robotic arm.
Distracted by the datapad she spoke without looking at the small grub in its hamster ball. "Thank you He'tailr, I'll see you at dinner." and with that the small grub looked at each human before the ball remade itself and seemed to wobble back then forward before rolling off to another part of the Ranch.
Without meaning to Daniels blurted out. "That was weird." Eyes going wide with shock at the lack of diplomacy with which he'd handled that.
Itack seemed to find it funny and broke into a few quick barking laughs. "He's like that with everyone." she assured her guests. "Don't take it personally."
They had to set up their work station and make sure everything was ready to go for later in the day, but right now the smoker and the Brisket needed to be done first. They'd be there late into the night and smoking was a long process. One they'd mentioned in the information packet so they weren't going to leave it out. It would still taste good even with an simple rub as opposed to the more complex one they originally made.
Itack was brought over and introduced to his staff with handshakes and polite smiles. They then showed her the process of how one cooked with smoke and finally got the brisket rubbed down and let their host give a cursory sniff. "It smells odd," she rubbed her nose. "I've never smelt something like that on meat before." he seemed hesitant. "Will it taste good?"
This time it was the Chef's time to smile. "Oh yes."
Once they got the Brisket in and left the security team to watch over their supplies, still nervous about the previous attack. They got the tour of the property.
She showed them the weird hippo faced llama necked yak bodied cows that are the most common meat source. Then the monkey type creatures, which made every human anxious and scared for their alien cousins. Some reptiles where also shown in a much much warmer enclosure with some mammals for them to feed on. They also had avian species they ate but they weren't on this ranch. It made Chef Daniels think hard on what agriculture and ranching was like for these people. They had to consistently supply meat to all of their people, make sure its raised properly and fed properly. That means they had agriculture specifically for their livestock, and they would feed specific herds with different foods to help change the taste. They lacked any proper digestive tracks for fruits but they did feed them to the avian creatures and monkeys they kept as livestock and they had to fertilize then and use pesticides on them. Although they where aliens so maybe they had different methods than spraying.
To soon tour was over and the Ranch Hands came back to the main house for what was to be a momentous occasion. Cooked meat. They had never seen the like.
They had seats to wait for their food, but as this was as much a spectacle to watch as to eat the humans found themselves performers on the flat tops and grills as they cooked up the hamburgers ribs and chicken for their customers.
Daniels found it a little unnerving to be watched like a monkey before a wolf. He pulled Itack over to him and made a mention of this. Apparently as in thralled as the others she hadn't been aware of the fact that they where intimidating them. So one by one she pulled them back until they where at a more respectful distance to watch them work.
The meal for that evening consisted of Half racks of ribs with salt and pepper chicken wings on the side. Cheese stuffed hamburgers with bacon and meat waffles as the bun. Chef's famous All-Meat Hamburger took a lot to make and there were few to hand out. Lastly is a World Famous Chili that barely had to be altered at all.
When the first plate was handed out to Itack every biped watched with bated breath as she bit into the first cooked rib served on Chandak. With baited breathe Chef watched as she thought about what she was eating and then eyes going wide in canine delight as she quickly ate up the rest. "It's delicious!!"
What followed was more akin to a buffet back home. Plates where quickly passed out with various dishes on them, they lined up and asked for what they thought looked good. That seemed to be everything that the humans where cooking. Even though this was a much more limited menu than what they would normally serve. The kitchen staff worked admirably in these strange conditions with these meat eating sentient wolves watching them, some drooling before quickly wiping their mouths. Even the strange human carbonated beverages where at hit, the more robust flavours like root beer and coke.
By the time they ran out most of the Ranch hands where sitting down at very similar human benches and picnic tables talking happily and licking their fingers clean. Be them alien wolves from another planet or twenty somethings in on a Friday night Chef Daniels still knew a satisfied customer when he saw one. Even the little Mo'bair seemed surprised at the dense nutrition in the cooked meat, although the taste was lost on it.
Itack was quick to give them praise. "That was incredible. So much flavour, so many types! That gooey yellow substance..."
"Cheese." added Daniels with a smile.
"Cheese! How do you make that?"
He explained the process best he could, he wasn't a dairy farmer after all, while his staff prepared the the human meal which was much less heart attack inducing and friendlier to the omnivorous palate. Simple Coleslaw with burgers and fixins, tomato, celery, onions, relish, ketchup, mustard. With some pop and chips.
An a while afterwards they where done with the cleaning and getting everything squared away they still had the Brisket to chop up and dish out. Although by their reaction, Chef Daniels felt like he had just offered these wolves ice cream instead.
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So that's part 2.
I've got more ideas for this story and would like to expand on it as much as I can. I mean there's only so much I can do with cooking and aliens, but I still see a lot of life left in this series. Even if I do branch away from cooking.
I hope you liked Carnivorous Cookout and hopefully I see you in the next one.
Edit: Had a bit of a COVID scare so I will be doing the last in this series next week.
First

Have you ever heard the saying “It’s in my blood”? Well, it is. I come from a long line of serial killers, technically my grandfather (Pedro) was a mass murderer. His reign of terror claimed 298 victims somewhere in the Andes, it was near the end of his run he impregnated the prostitute who would give birth to my father after fleeing to America. My father (Felix) was a truck driver but in his spare time he would kidnap and murder women and young girls. During his active years he was given a lot of names, The I-70 killer, the freeway Phantom and the Parkway stalker to name a few. He and my mother were killed by a drunk driver in 1990 and I was turned over to child protective services. Despite the circumstances I had a fairly happy childhood, I was adopted quickly by Oliver and Gail Campbell. They were good people, Oliver was Professor at the local college and Gail was an artist. They gave me a great life, they never harmed me in any way and did their best to keep me safe but no matter how hard they tried they couldn’t protect me from myself.
I suppose by now you’re wondering who I am, well boys and girls that’s my little secret. For now you may call me Dante, there’s a lot to unpack here so I guess I’ll start at the beginning. My first kill well human kill anyway was a kid named Billy McCarthy, he was what you would consider one of the popular kids if there is such a thing in the fifth grade. I guess here is where you would get the stereotypical popular bully routine but no, that’s not how this story goes. I wasn’t picked on or pushed around, hell, for the most part people barely noticed I was around and before you go jumping to conclusions that has nothing to do with it either.
The why probably isn’t as interesting as the how but I’ll tell you anyway, I picked him because I didn’t like his shoes. I know, I know, that’s petty as hell, but for 10 year old me that was enough. I watched him for days, I didn’t have a clue back then I had no idea what I was doing or how I was going to do it I just knew I wanted it done. It was a Friday afternoon, Billy and his friends walked through Stone Park every day but on Fridays he had soccer practice and would be late so he would be by himself. I told my mother I was going to the park about an hour before I knew he would be there. On the way I stopped by old man Hudson’s place and broke into the toolshed behind his house, there wasn’t much to pick from and being so young I chose the only thing I could fit into my pocket a flathead screwdriver. When I got to the park I spent a little too long looking for the perfect spot and by the time I found one it was too late. I spotted Billy already on the far end of the park, I’d missed my chance. I know that’s a little anticlimactic but it turned out to be for the best, that night I was up late watching an old movie I can’t recall the name of it but in it there was a man who poisoned his wife by crushing up pills and mixing it into her food. This gave me an idea, now being 10 I didn’t have access to pills and wouldn’t have known what to use even if I did. What I did have was my father’s workshop in the garage, there were lots of chemicals I couldn’t begin to tell you what half of them were but there were quite a few that had warnings on them. I poured a little from each one into a water bottle and saved it till I went back to school.
That Monday while we were in gym I asked to use the restroom, while I was gone I went to Billy’s locker and pulled his thermos out of his backpack. I poured out about a cup or so of the sweet smelling juice out then replaced it with the cocktail I’d mixed up, when I was done I sniffed it just to see if I could detect it and much to my surprise there was only a slight difference. Later that day when we went to lunch I sat at my usual table and pretended not to know what was about to happen, after about 15 minutes people started screaming. There was a sudden panic and the cafeteria exploded into chaos, Billy was violently seizing on the floor spewing bloody foam from his mouth as teaches rushed to his aid. He died later that night in the hospital, it was all over the news when they found he’d been poisoned everyone was looking for someone to blame. There were all sorts of rumors on who it could have been and kids being kids made up stories that grew into urban legends. The case went unsolved, but I was hooked I spent the rest of that school year riding the high till the buzz started to fade away and by the start of the next year no one was talking about it anymore.
I tried to go without it, I really did, but every day I walked the halls and didn’t feel the fear in the air, I felt sick. I wanted it back, I needed to feel that power again but if there was one thing I’d learned, it was to not rush the process. If one death fed me for a year two would get me to the 8th grade, looking back I have to laugh at my reasoning it was all so silly now that I reflect on those moments. Nevertheless I spent my first semester picking out targets luckily for me there was no shortage of people I didn’t like but one in particular “Coach Philips” gave me the best reason of all.
Mr. Philips was the head coach of the football team, he was a large muscular man with a head full of grey hair. Everyone loved Coach Philips, when parents and staff were around he put on an act that made them believe he was a genuine good guy. But when it was just him and the team, he was a brutal dictator with a foul mouth and a quick temper. I’d heard the stories but because I wasn’t on the team I’d never seen it for myself, one afternoon I had to stay after school for detention I wasn’t a trouble maker or anything like that I just got caught talking to my friend Caleb and the teacher punished me for it. When detention was finally over I was walking through the building near the gym and stopped to tie my shoe, while I was kneeling down I started hearing someone arguing and got a little nosey. I crept into the locker room following the voices till I got to this area everyone called “The Cage” it was where the football teams lockers were and no one besides them was allowed inside.
Once I passed the cage I came to the hall that leads to the Coaches office, that’s where the yelling was coming from. As quietly as I could I crept down the hall and got as close as possible without being seen, from where I was I could see a part of his office through the window but I couldn’t see everything. The coach barked out “Are you fucking stupid Denton?! I told you to get your shit together or there would be consequences!” I caught a glimpse of one of the older kids standing near the door as coach stormed over and grabbed him by the arm pulling him in the office before closing the door. Now all I could see was the Coaches back and hear him yelling but only for a moment before the sound of him slapping whoever that Denton kid was. There was a crash from the kid slamming into the desk then a struggle that only lasted for a few seconds, the hall went quiet I waited for a moment before I started to get out of there then I heard muffled screams and whimpering. I had to know what was happening, I slowly crept around the corner and made my way over to the window, when I peeped inside I nearly threw up. Coach had that boy bent over his desk violating him in the worst way imaginable, I never saw the kids face I turned tail and got out of there as fast as possible. I ran all the way home, I thought about telling my parents or maybe the police but something stopped me, I knew in that moment it had to be me, it was up to me to stop this. I don’t want you to get the wrong idea I didn’t want to stop him out of some need to be the hero. I wanted to stop him because he was on my turf and even then I didn’t like sharing. It would take me a while to come up with a plan for the coach but in the meantime I had my sights set on one Eliza Stuart, she was a grade above me I couldn’t really tell you why I sniffed her out. She wasn’t popular or even a standout student for all intents and purposes she was just another face in the crowd but for some reason that made her perfect.
Finding her pattern wasn’t easy, I only really saw her once or twice a day during school so there was no way I could get to her bag. I needed another approach, I watched her for days, eventually I found out she rode the bus and what side of town she lived on but none of that was any help. I was getting close to giving up on her, then on a Tuesday afternoon there was a fire. Faulty wiring lit the insulation inside the walls and before anyone knew what was going on a large section of the building was on fire. The alarms blared while the halls filled with smoke and all that organized fire drill shit flew straight out the window. Students and teachers alike flooded into the halls headed for the exits and in that chaos I spotted her, she was standing near the janitor’s closet talking with another girl. By the time I got close the other girl was walking away, keeping my back to Eliza I moved with the crowd till I was standing directly in front of her then pretended to get thrown off balance stumbling into her causing her to fall landing just inside the doorway. Without looking back I slammed the door shut and locked it still facing the surging crowd, no one noticed. I joined the crowd and filed out to the courtyard where we were all gathered watching the school burn, I stared at that door till they moved us away and she never came out. Her body was discovered later that day and once again that feeling of power surged through me but as good as it felt it wasn’t enough, I needed more.
No one panicked, there was no fear just sadness it felt like a hollow victory. They wrote it off as a tragic accident so there was no muttering or wondering, no fantastic stories or boogie-men bumping off the townsfolk it was utterly disappointing. The rest of that year was a wash, but the next year when things got back to normal I’d already made up my mind, “Coach” was first on the list. I’d hit a little growth spurt and put on weight so I tried out for the team and made it. I hated every second of it, there were some benefits like discipline, strength, stamina and speed but seeing his face knowing what he was made me sick.
We had lost two of our last three games and Coach was not happy, I knew sooner or later he would start taking it out on the players and I was right. The Monday after our last loss he started having one on one player meetings in his office, I can’t say he did what he did to all the players. I don’t know that as a fact, but I do know there were a couple I’d seen him being tough on and I’m almost certain they were victims. I made sure I skipped my meeting and dodged him all day till after school, over the summer I’d found a knife in an old trunk of my fathers. It wasn’t that big but it was heavy and sharp I made sure of that, there’s an unmarked pet grave filled with fur to prove it. In any case once I was sure no one was around I went to Coach Philips office and knocked on the door, his office smelled like a combination of foot fungus spray and Old spice cologne. He grimaced at me when he opened the door, “Well it’s about god damn time you showed up, do you think I have all day to wait on your sorry ass? Get in here and close my door.” My heart was pounding so hard I could barely hear him scolding me for wasting his time, he slammed his ham sized fist on the desk and jolted towards me asking if I was listening. (I wasn’t) The second he grabbed my shirt I pulled my blade and plunged it into his neck spraying my face with blood. Coach’s eyes went wide, he gasped and gurgled releasing his grip thrashing back away from me swinging wildly. Grasping at the gushing hole in his throat he staggered back and stumbled over a chair then crashed to the ground wheezing, I hadn’t realized the knife was still in my hand till he started reaching for me. I swung that blade as hard as I could at his outreaching hand slicing off one of his fingers but he kept coming. Slipping in his own blood he crawled towards me, I maneuvered around in his office to stay out of reach but he was a big man, I couldn’t dodge forever. Getting up off the floor and grabbing me by the throat he snatched me off my feet he hoisted me into the air, I struggled against his grip thinking I was going to die till I jabbed that knife into his eye and felt the blade scrape bone. He let out a groan and dropped me then staggered back over to his desk mumbling something I couldn’t make out before taking a seat in his chair. Tilting his head back and resting his hands on his knees he let out one last gurgling breath and went still. Time stopped, it felt like electricity was running through my veins, instinct took over and the next thing I know I’m pulling the knife free from Coach’s eye socket. Everything seemed out of step like the frames of reality were lagging by a second causing the world around me to have a distorted glare. I moved through the hall quickly to the locker room and got in the shower clothes and all, I stood there watching the hot water washing away the blood when I was done I changed into my gym clothes and stole a pair of shoes out of the cage. Once I was all cleaned up I put my clothes in a trash bag then took towels and cleaned the hallway and went home.
I ate dinner, played video games and watched television till it was time for bed and I slept like a baby. The next morning when I got to school police were everywhere, the crowd was buzzing. The word was out, everyone was talking about it I could feel the energy vibrating through everyone around me it was intoxicating. I was too young to understand what I was feeling, my mind couldn’t process the overpowering emotions that were pulsing through me so I did the only thing I could think of to calm myself down, I hummed Old McDonald under my breath and for some reason it worked. I made it through the day listening to all the different versions of what everyone thought happened and managed not to burst out laughing. As the weeks went by and no one was being arrested for the murder the legend grew. Rumors started to go around about some shady drifter that wandered into town and was hiding, waiting to pick us off one by one, it was hilarious. I even heard it was the mob and Coach Philips was in witness protection or some nonsense but the best one and my personal favorite was one of the school staff was a killer. It created this weird vibe that had all of the student’s edge, I loved every second of it.
By Christmas break the rumors had become full on ghost stories but the buzz was calming down it was time for more. Since I wouldn’t be back in school for a week I started looking around the neighborhood for anyone that caught my eye but for the first few days there was nothing. For time’s sake I’ll gloss over the next couple of years, mainly because I didn’t kill anyone else till high-school, well there was a homeless guy but I don’t count that one because it was an accident.
By the time I was in high-school I’d become what you would call “The quiet kid” but it was by design. I’d come up with a plan, I wanted to see if I could control someone else and get them to do my dirty work without them knowing it. First I had to pick my subjects, they weren’t hard to find. The first was a boy named Dennis, he was lanky and tall with pale skin and bright red hair. In a way you could say he made himself stick out but no one deserves to be pushed around for being different. Dennis had a best friend that he hung out with named Chris, they dressed alike and listened to the same music so naturally the two became targets together. Freshman year for them was hell, they were chased home, beaten up and constantly the subject of random rumors. I watched them long enough to learn some of their likes and dislikes, and one thing they both had in common was some band called “L7”. It took me a month to get a concert shirt but the day I wore it to school I met Chris, he was blown away by the shirt. “Holy shit, how’d you get that?” his eyes were so wide I thought they might pop out of his head. “You have to let me buy that off you. I’ll give you 50 bucks for it right now.” I made up some story about getting it from one of the band members and it wasn’t for sale but from that day on we started to become friends. It wasn’t long before he introduced me to Dennis and from there we hung out every day.
One afternoon we were supposed to meet up at this little hideout they had been using for years. It wasn’t much to look at, it was a clearing deep in the woods where they would get high and shoot their fathers guns when they could sneak them out of the house. I got there early that day so I had to wait for them, when they made it they were both clearly hurt. Dennis had a swollen eye and a busted lip, Chris had a bloody nose and his shirt was torn. They ranted and raved about being tired of it all and how they were going to take off, they wanted to drop out and run away. I convinced them that was the wrong move, “Running doesn’t change who you are. It just changes where you’re at. Stand up for yourselves, force them to change how they treat you.”
Wiping blood from his chin Dennis snapped, “Don’t you think we’ve tried?! That just makes it worse! Look at my fucking face! Do you think I stood there and let this happen?! Do you think Chris wanted to get the shit kicked out of him by some asshole who decided today was a good day to pick on somebody? Come on man, we shouldn’t have to live like this!”
I had to choose my next words very carefully, I didn’t want to push the envelope too fast. “I get it. I know you fight back. What I’m saying is, maybe you’re fighting back the wrong way. What we need is a way to level things out, you know, make it a fair fight.” Once the wheels were turning there was no stopping the machine, they quickly grabbed hold to the idea and ran with it, at first it was sticks and bats then knives finally landing on guns. By the end of that day they were just talking about it, imagining scenarios and cracking jokes. By the end of the month after several more incidents, we were making actual plans. We set up P.O. boxes and ordered weapons using false information we got from different places, before long we were practicing after school every day for weeks. We never wrote anything down and never told a soul what we were planning, the idea was simple we would wipe them all out and show the world what happens when you push someone too far.
In order for my plan to work I couldn’t be involved, this part was actually a lot easier than you may think my father had already planned on having me miss school for a trip to Texas so all I had to do was time it out and it worked out to perfection. The day before we were supposed to do it I had to break it to them that my dad sprung a trip on me and I would have to miss it, we argued a little but in the end they vowed to go through with the plan. What happened next would become one of the worst mass shootings in history, I got a bad feeling from it. I didn’t like the attention, it was too much and it ended badly for both of them. I never attempted that one again, the idea was better than the reality, in the end it was a lesson learned.
I didn’t do anything for years after that, the whole experience was upsetting for me. I went on with my life and made it through college without a single incident. For the most part I’d written it off as just a really fucked up phase of my life, then I started working for a company that will remain nameless because mistakes like that get you caught. I was invited to a New Year’s Eve party one day after work and since I didn’t really have any plans I went. The party was amazing, great food, great music and nice people for the most part. I had just finished my first beer when I ran into an old friend of mine, Caleb. We laughed and talked about the old days for a moment then went our separate ways. It was good to see him again, but as the night progressed I started catching him in different spots watching me. I brushed it off the first few times but as we got closer and closer to midnight I would find him closer to me.
Feeling uncomfortable I wound up leaving early, walking through the parking lot Caleb caught up to me. “I’ve been looking for you for a long time now, you want to hear something funny? I thought you would have at least thanked me for cleaning up your messes, but no, instead you ignored me and left me behind. Why!?” Before I could process what he was saying he launched forward clubbing me across the head with something heavy and everything went black.
When I woke up I was in the backseat of my car parked under an overpass near the river. There’s a yellow sticky note attached the steering wheel that said, “Call me” with a phone number written in blue ink. I ignored it, got myself together and went home, everything went back to normal for a couple of days till I started noticing a bad odor in my car. After a quick search I found a badly butchered young woman’s body, wrapped in plastic rotting in my trunk. I hadn’t had to deal with anything like this before, I’d never given any thought to getting rid of bodies. I wound up driving as far away as I could and dumping her in the bog, the body was never recovered as far as I know.
The next morning before I could leave for work, I got a phone call. “It’s your turn, let’s see how you like it.” Before I could yell my response into the receiver the line went dead. Hanging it up out of anger I grabbed my keys and stormed out the front door, I don’t even remember if I locked it. I was in my car and headed for work in a daze, I couldn’t get his words out of my head. When I got there I spent most of the day just going through the motions but right around lunch I caught sight of Caleb watching me from across the office. (How the hell did he know where I worked?) I got up from my desk and quickly headed in his direction, I never took my eyes off him but somehow between me getting up from my desk and walking to where he was standing, he’d vanished.
I don’t scare easy but something about this was getting under my skin. I couldn’t remember where or when I’d met Caleb, as far back as I could think he’d always been around. I had to put him out of my mind and get back to work but for the rest of the day odd things kept happening. I was sitting at my desk when Tracey one of the office managers stopped to talk to me. “I’ll have you know, I’ve won several awards for my innovations with this company and I don’t appreciate you saying I contribute nothing to this project.” I was shocked by her tone, she seemed genuinely upset but I had no idea what she was talking about. “For you to call my work into question in front of the regional lead was inexcusable, I should fire you.” I was completely caught off guard, I didn’t know how to respond to something I had no memory of doing. Before I could come up with a response she was called away, random people passed by my desk for the rest of the day smiling and giving me the thumbs up. Everyone hated Tracey, she was a self-absorbed blow hard that took credit for other peoples work and never once defended the people under her. As happy as it made me to see her squirm I was still left with this horrible sinking feeling and a gap in my memory. The more I thought about it I couldn’t remember leaving for lunch, I could clearly recall seeing 11:45 on the clock and thinking I only had 15 minutes left. The very next thing I remembered was seeing Caleb and getting up from my desk, by the time my work day was over I’d had at least four conversations with four different people I had no memory of meeting. The truly disturbing part was they all seemed to know me really well, I couldn’t wrap my mind around it.
When I made it home that evening there was a note taped to my front door, it read. “There is no darkness without light, no wrong without right.” It was nonsense, just more scare tactics Caleb was using to get under my skin. Tossing the note in the garbage I went inside and got some rest, if he wanted the old me he would get it. I started making plans for the next time I saw him, the idea was simple the next time we were face to face I was planning on ending his pathetic life. I began carrying a few of my favorite new toys like an overpowered taser and zip-ties, it wasn’t long before I would get my chance.
The following week I used my vacation time to take off from work for a while and set my plan in motion. I jog every morning along the same route, there’s a long stretch of paths that cut through the woods if he was going to ambush me that would be the perfect spot. At 5:30 a.m. I was just hitting the trail, I could feel him out there somewhere watching, waiting on his moment. I’d been on the trail for ten minutes when he sprung his trap, I spotted the trip-line a mile away but I played along just for fun. When I snagged the line I slammed into the ground and pretended to be hurt, Caleb predictably rushed in as I rolled to my back, pulled the taser and fired hitting him square in the chest.
The second he dropped I got up and hog-tied him before dragging him off the path, when I was sure we were out of sight I checked him for weapons and found he was carrying a combat knife. He smiled at me holding it in my hand. “Feels good, doesn’t it?” before he could say another word I clamped my left hand over his mouth and using my right drove the blade through his throat. Turning my wrist to open the hole, I stared into his eyes and as he wheezed out a long breath I inhaled deeply sucking in his last gasp of life. Once I was sure it was over I pulled my hand away from his face, he was still smiling. I had to move fast, other people jog that path and someone could be coming at any moment. I took off my sweat shirt, rolled the knife up in it and stuffed it in the sport bag I carry my water in. Using the water I washed my hands and face before getting back on the path just in time to see a pair of women turning onto the trail, I still had to get rid of the trip-line. I pretended to be stretching then took a step towards the tree and acted like I was tying my shoe, in one motion I slipped my fingers through the loop and snatched back snapping the line and slightly cutting into my fingers at the same time. I stood and stretched one last time before jogging passed them headed back to my apartment, that old feeling washed over me as I moved along the sidewalk and I realized in that moment how much I’d missed it. The electricity in my veins, the fire in my lungs the outright blissful euphoria of it all surged through me and I smiled. I laughed and picked up my pace feeling more energized than I had in years, I was back.
That night I went out bar hopping, I’m not a heavy drinker but that wasn’t the point, I was fishing. I wasn’t getting anything for the first couple of hours, I moved from place to place waiting for someone to catch my eye but for the most part it was a dud. I called for a cab and stepped outside to wait, “Excuse me, can I get a light?” a sweet sounding voice called to me as a beautiful young woman with long dark hair stepped up beside me. “I’m sorry, I don’t smoke.” She looked at me and smiled slipping her cigarette back in the pack, “That’s ok, you wouldn’t happen to have the time would you? I’ve been waiting on this cab forever.” I gave her the time and we stood there making small talk for a while till the cab finally arrived, we agreed to split the fare and hopped in. Something about her made me happy maybe it was her energy or possibly that wicked little smirk but I wanted to know her. We exchanged numbers before I got to my stop and went our separate ways.
The next night I went out again, I roamed around driving from spot to spot hoping to catch that urge but this time it didn’t take long. I was passing through uptown when I spotted him, your run of the mill neighborhood tough guy standing on the corner talking to a lady that was clearly uninterested in the conversation. I parked on the other end of the building then got out and crept through the alley coming out behind him. I decided to use a gun this time, I watched from the shadows waiting on the chance, there’s nothing like that feeling when you’re waiting for someone to step into your trap. I love it almost as much as the fallout, he walked past the alley not knowing I was there, I stepped out behind him silently raised the gun aimed at the back of his head and fired. It was over in an instant and I was racing through the alley back to my car. When I got there I calmly got in and drove away as people started to gather around the body, no one saw me, it happened so fast no one had a clue, thanks to the revolver there were no shells to find, it was quick and clean.
I had another two days left on my vacation and I was going to make the most of it. I wanted something special this time, I traveled to an upscale shopping center and wondered around buying little things while fishing for another fix. A grey haired older woman sat on a bench near the shoe store talking to someone on the phone. (Perfect.) I walked over and sat on the bench next to her, in my left pocket I was holding a syringe filled with paint thinner, I intentionally bumped her with my leg and injected her with the full dose then excused myself and walked away. I didn’t wait to see the outcome but I found out later through the news the woman died. With two down I was feeling like a kid again, and on my last day of vacation I decided that was exactly what I wanted.
Before I go further I just want it to be known, I’m not a sexual predator, I haven’t ever and will never rape anyone. As a point of pride I go out of my way to eliminate those types when I come across them, but I’ll save that for later. In any case I drove to the other side of the city for my last day and spent it looking for a victim. It took hours to finally find a good fishing hole but when I did it took less than 15 minutes to find what I was looking for. He was just a little younger than I was around the time of my first kill, he’d wandered away from the playground and was off playing by himself. The park sits on the edge of a natural bayou the water is deep and dark, it’s separated from the playground by a dense section of trees which is where I had been watching from the entire time. I didn’t hesitate, the moment he was out of view from the playground I rushed him and snapped his neck before he could scream then weighed down the body with rocks and dumped him in the water.
My vacation was over, on Monday morning I stepped through those doors still riding the buzz off the last week of my life and it felt amazing. I breezed through the day and even managed to log some programing time before I clocked out and headed home. I was feeling so good I finally decided to make a call I should have made days ago.
Her name is Tabitha, since the day I met her I couldn’t stop thinking about her, even when I was getting my fix her name rattled around in my brain every day. I actually felt nervous waiting for her to pick up, I couldn’t believe it, I was in the middle of rehearsing what I would say when the line clicked over. “Hello.” that one little word set my nerves at ease, smiling to myself I cleared my throat and the words just seemed to spill out. We talked for hours, about everything and nothing, laughing and connecting on the things we had in common, it was the most joy I’d ever felt from a stranger in my life.
We took it slow, only talking on the phone for weeks before finally seeing each other in person. The energy didn’t change, it was still so comfortable and natural with her that it felt like we’d always known one another. One date led to another and another but the odd thing was I didn’t feel that urge anymore. Weeks passed hell months passed, and we had become a legit couple, and in that entire time I didn’t kill a single person.
Then on a Wednesday evening it came back, I don’t know what triggered it, I was havening a good day. But as I pulled up to a stop light on the way home I turned and looked at the car next to me. The guy behind the wheel looked young, he was nodding his head to some song on the radio. I took the gun from under my seat then motioned for him to roll down the window keeping it out of sight. When he let it down I brought the gun up and fired as the light turned green, then I drove off. When I got home I disassembled the gun and put my bike in the car, that night I drove out to the bog burying pieces of the gun along the way. When I got there I cleaned out the car before torching it then rolled it into the swamp. It was a long ride home I didn’t make it back till the next morning, when I got there I reported my car stolen and went on with my day.